10mo ago

Explain this, humankind

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9mo ago

❗Top comics posts of the month❗ (15 Jan 2025)

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I feel I've seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago
- You're right!
  
  Even more similar than I remembered!
- The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.
  
  That joke's been around since 1750 BC
  Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
  When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : "I will return when the time is right." Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: "Why, then, has Jesus not returned?"
  What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?
  You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?
  Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er... this is a joke btw)
we enshrined his torture and put it literally everywhere. you think that might have anything to do with it?
- Well people said if he comes back he's going to slaughter all of us, maybe making him afraid to come back is the point? Haha
- It's not like all humankind suffers and he is a relatable representation of our own suffering. Kind of like Iron Man or other heroes.
  
  Look, if they did that to Jesus they will do the same or worse to you without batting an eye.
  
  Well, Iron Man was crucified for our sins.
  As was James T. Kirk.
- "you think if JFK comes back he wants to see sniper rifles everywhere?"
TBF, his (hypothetical) dad planned the whole thing.
- Is god also jesus and the holy spirit all at once?
  
  Ah, yes, the holy Trinity.
  The only thing that made less sense than a virgin birth or resurrection.
  It still doesn't make sense. Like from a narrative view either. It doesn't help the story, or the belief it's just a useless... Thing?
  
  He is whatever you want them to be.
  
  That's all retconning.
  Dude showed up with a message for peace, was murdered and his murder is celebrated. Literally, a bunch of people running around pretending that's what he wanted. The propaganda is so strong that everyone just accepts it as fact.
  It's really not much different than claiming a women wanted to be sexually assaulted because of what she was wearing.
A press conference with aliens? I don't think so. They'll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground
- Then I hope they have no feet! 🤪
- Unless we were threatened with overwhelming power.
There's a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you've all but proven that God exists.
- You will prove that one god exists?
  Or even less, you will prove that someone with god-like powers exists?
  Or even less, you will prove tat we live in a simulation written by some christian sect.
- Will be reading this if you think it’s worth it.
  I’m a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?
  And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, I’ve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesn’t matter to me as much as the stories these days. I’m an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.
  
  If you like old school scifi you'll probably like it. It's a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:
  https://read.amazon.com/sample/B004G60EHS?f=1&l=en_US&r=eec1d4a1&rid=348SM72J0X8RWTFKS1BG&sid=136-6887572-5455735&cid=ANAROXL46XMJT&ref_=litb_m
  
  The first book is phenomenal. The others are good, but not necessarily "must read"
  
  It's like The Canterbury Tales in space. It's four books, but the first one stands on its own.
- Or aliens copied 3rd century Rome.
Yeah, but wait until you hear what these green guys did to Santa.
We killed God. And we'd do it again if given the chance.
- Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.
- God creates earth. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
  
  Life, uh, finds a way.
It's the fedi here, why only link their bluesky when they have a Mastodon and a website?
- Because that's where I got it from, that's where I linked the source to
  
  understandable, have a good day
More like "what didn't we do?"
Am I right?
- Like 90% of what he told us to do, for starters.
  
  That 10% is doing a lot of work here
  
  Jesus: "Love one another."
  Everyone else: "We're gonna kill that son of a bitch."
Explanation: humans suck
Maybe we need to give an offering of Viagra if we want Jesus to come again.
I can't read these comics without being reminded of a character in Community reading "Warren Piece"

52 comments