Make way for the professional

A friend of mine went to Vegas once and we only got 2 texts from him in the group chat the entire time.

Day 1: I'm up!

Day 5: I'm down.

The flight from Denver to Las Vegas is just over an hour. I was meeting some friends in Vegas for a bachelor party and texted them saying I was taking off. The conversation went like this:
Me: Flight is taking off now, will text you when I get in.
Friend: Just sat down at the blackjack table at Treasure Island. See you in a bit.
Time skip ahead to me landing.
Me: Just landed. You still at Treasure Island?
Friend: I'm down 4 grand. Went back to the hotel.

I’ve been to a casino exactly one time in my life, and it was earlier this year. Went for the cheap hotel.

I did not spend any money at the casino, but I did get $15 free for being a certain demographic of new customer. I played that, won $158, cashed out and won’t ever do it again (unless I get more free money, anyway).

I’m sure what they wanted by giving me a win on the last $2 (it’s all controlled by cards, they know what my demographic is, and that people in it are likely to be depressed and on the poor side, and thus potential gambling addicts) was for me to keep playing to try to score more, but what it really did was point out dark patterns and make me wildly uncomfortable with the whole situation..

What's your demographic? Middle-aged white guy?
- lol no, silly, they don’t give you free money for that. That’s just the demographic they compare everything to as a baseline :)
  It obviously depends on the establishment in question, but you get free shit for being a veteran, teacher, healthcare worker, firefighter or other emergency worker, stuff like that. Or a senior probably, they get tons of free shit, too.

Why gamble IRL when you could instead gamble with stocks online and lose your life savings /s

Just drop it in a spider and reap the 5% growth per year caused by new immigrants... er, wait.

I’d love to be able to lose three grand in a casino.

They usually have super predatory lines of credit you can sign up for, you know, in case you're out of money and would still like to enjoy losing that much.
- Yeah exactly. Not having 3 grand is no obstacle for them to get you to lose 3 grand!
- Insane.

Well, at least he was honest to himself and the world. Plenty of people who will not even stop at losing 3 grand, let alone own up and quit.

I mean, I have a foolproof way to always come out on top at a casino, it's a simple trick that gamblers will hate you for.

Dress smart, it makes you look like an easy mark.
Make sure to wear black shoes, polished to a shine, this will be important later.
Own the casino.
Ignore 1 and 2.

I have heard of someone who did just this but still went bankrupt multiple times.

Oceans eleven got this right:

Except if Trump is the owner. That fool can bankrupt inanimate objects.

Seems like a terrible place to make bread...I mean is there even an oven?

I first I thought others a grow operation because of all the purple lighting.

A fool and his money are soon parted.

I've lived near casinos my entire life, and I can't understand the appeal of the gambling part. Unless it's the shiny lights. I like those. Those are nice.

People have an inherent inability to assess probability. Even with "safer" games like black jack when your odds are a little closer to 50:50, people will keep pushing until they have no money left. Bet it all 4 times and there's about a 94% chance you lose it all.
- When I turned 21 my dad (very rational guy) was helping me learn video blackjack, it was stuff like determining probability, risk reward, strategy (getting dealer to guarantee bust allowing us to play safely), just blackjack stuff
  Some advice that will now stick with me if I ever go gambling again is, due to probability, losing any money you won and then some, is a matter of when. House will always win if you’re in it for the long game, so either quit while you ahead, quit once you’ve won $X, or quit once you’ve lost $Y. Always assume the third option will happen even if you’re playing smart
that's how they get ya
The lights are fun when you're drunk.

I thought it wouldn’t be hard for him. Maybe his brother Chris might have more luck.

Chris Peacock? Is that what a guy gets when he stands too close to the camp fire?

What did he draw??

The best way to win into casino is this.

Go to a casino.

Get given free drinks, drink the free drinks.

Leave. Having had some nice free drinks.