The devil will walk on earth

I'm gullible as hell I showed this to my gf super excitedly

Chin up, now you know she really loves ya
- She might have dumped them immediately, you don't know
Well I asked ChatGPT if that is true. It's so cool that ChatGPT isn't allowed to tell me how stupid that question is
- Yes totally reliable and accurate chatpgt
Don't feel bad. I once showed my then-girlfriend news of a Firefly renewal on April 1st.
- You can't take the sky from me.
- Straight to jail.

Isn't Halloween always on 31 October? How's this possible?

That's why it's so scary 😱
- The Halloween is inside the calendar!!!!!!
Did you know that Christmas and Halloween are the same day? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.
Thank you for asking because I had no idea what's wrong with this post until I reached your comment.
I just had to explain this to my coworker...

You can't just move holidays. Who do you think you are, the President of Venezuela?

This looks like an email my boomer dad would forward to everyone he knows.

- Obummer foes it again

Thank god that new year is not on friday 13th.

I remember a friend of mine showing us this image many years ago all excited. To this day he's mocked for it

Me: a complete dumbass.

"I could swear it happened once when I was a kid"

"...Wait a second..."

Unfortunately this won't happen until October 31st 2600. Starting on March 1st in the year 2600, the Julian calendar (popular in centuries past, and still used in a few places) will differ by 18 days from the Gregorian calendar (the current worldwide standard calendar).

It happens that October 31st in the year 2600 lands on a Friday, and so the Julian October 13th, which lands on that same day, is also a Friday.

There may be a sooner Friday the 13th that lands on Halloween, if you know of other obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars. I don't know enough about those to check.

I love it when people over analyze shitposts. Well done!
obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars
That's not very nice to say, also very false
- I eagerly await your writeup on whichever calendar you think I need to know more about.
It's also always either 5, 6 or 11 years (or 7 in very rare cases, when you're on both sides of a skipped leap year like 1900 or 2100) between "day X falls on day of the week Y" events unless you're talking about February 29.

If you put that in the mirror it's kinda true, except that it's also on a Thursday this year haha

Sorry, I only believe in The Robot Devil from Futurama.

Yes. Since Halloween is the last day of October, the 31st, it's kinda never on the 13th. So yeah, it's a shitpost.
- That is what you heathens want us to think!
Dang it I already forwarded this to my church group o well.

Im more scared for Nov. 5th TBH.

Oh, you don't like bonfire night? Fireworks too loud? /s
Edit: Seriously, good luck to you guys - I'll be watching nervously from the UK (where our election was on 4th July.)
- It took your edit to realise they weren't talking about bonfire night.

Fuck it. I wanna suck a dick before everything goes tit's up.

Like a clean and kinda cute one though. Non dick type of dick ya kmow

Even scarier when you realize Friday the 13th is on a Sunday.

Why did this have to pass 666 up votes,

Could've been left at 666 updates and this post would be even better

You can work on 666 down arrows
- Or 666 comments!

Well if we’re going through another doomsday scenario then hopefully this one puts us out of our misery this time.

As a devout Last Thursdayist I invite you all to share in the weirdness this year, as Halloween falls on a Thursday. Join me in celebrating the existential horror of not knowing if the universe was created mere hours ago with the appearance of age while handing out free candy and watching scary movies.

I'm a devout Carcinizationist. May your bucket be filled.

Probably because the Orange Anti-Christ is running for President.

If we declare it "the floor is lava" day, would that mean he can't walk on earth?