You don't get to pick your trauma

God gives his strongest soldiers the hardest battles. 😢

That sounds like Subway to me. They like making mayo sandwiches for some reason.

Light mayonnaise, please
proceeds to drown sandwich in it
- Even if you dont ask for it! One time I just got done ordering my sandwich, they grab the mayo bottle and say "you want mayo?" Then jizz out half the bottle all over it before I can say no.
- Ah, you wanted light regular mayonnaise, not lite mayonnaise
I call it the exploding mouth of mayonnaise technique.
Normally they don't give me nearly enough. Until one time I made it extra special clear that I wanted a bukkake in paper.
I got what I asked for and reluctantly ate every bit of it over like four days lol. I have a picture somewhere but I'm too lazy to find it.

If anyone else has a hard time with getting subs: I'm free.

Lol I read it the same way friend. I guess one can leave the life, but it never leaves you.
Feddit schwappt über
Tbh, the only connections you'll make with messages like this are fake internet doms who don't really care about you/your limits and try to push your boundaries. 0/10 would not recommend

Don't blame him. Mayo tastes like shit

I don't get the mayonnaise hate. I know us white people put it on everything, but it's literally eggs, vinegar, oil, sometimes mustard... I love all of those!
- People grow up on the shit tasting commercial crap or (shudders) Miracle Whip and then think all mayo tastes like it
  I myself as a younger child fell into this and didn't really like Mayo until my preteen years when I realized that there's actually good tasting mayo out there
Most of the commercial mayo tastes like shit, real mayo (and a very select few and pricier brands) is delicious
- Dukes is my go to and it is used sparingly.
- I’ll die on my Miracle Whip hill.
- I like to make my own because it's quick, easy, and much tastier than most store bought, but I also understand that not everyone has an immersion blender or the desire for one.
  I like to add fresh herbs to mine. A little dill or parsley really livens it up. I've tried mixing them in store bought and it's not the same.
- Hellman's is fine.
take it back
Mayo is so disgusting fr
Meanwhile anime: "I have made mayo. I am now your god."

Well that is the whitest thing I've heard today.

The colour of peoples skin does very little to determine their personality or character, this comment is nothing but reinforcing racist thinking that plagues society. Consider just not making race based stereotypes for the betterment of humanity.
- Race is a social construct.

If your biggest stress is mayo in your sub, you have an easy life.

Not always true, a lot of the time people with serious issues have trouble with smaller issues because they're anxious and stressed but unable to mentally address the larger issues.

Someone literally got killed for that.

I believe it was a subway and when they found an absolute shit ton of mayo on their sandwich they actually killed the person and shot another...

https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/28/us/subway-worker-mayo-dispute-killing/index.html

Weakly: "No... No... You already used a whole jar, don't get another..." 😴

Relevant https://youtu.be/hX07NFted28

lol I came looking for this. I can't watch the whole video because I get so upset.

I have a similar beef with bagel places. I love bagels and I love cream cheese ... but I do not need a 3/4" thick hockey puck of fucking cream cheese on my bagel.