Irresistible

A schwarschild radius of 0.5 meters corresponds to about 56 Earth masses. So Richard must have accreted a bunch of mass before he collapsed.

Or maybe he accreted the mass after collapsing?
Alternatively, maybe that's just the weight of his massive ego?
Your mom is so fat, were she to collapse into a black hole her schwarzchild radius would be 0.5 meters. Does not quite roll of the tongue, does it?
- Your mom's schwarzchild radius is nearly as big as she is!

the cat is struggling to not fall in but tbethe people are unaffected, implying that either:

I think Richard is allergic to cats. Everyone knows that cats are attracted to people who are allergic to them
- The selective attraction exerted on the cat by the Richard black hole reveals that Richard is allergic to cats, as cats are attracted to people allergic to them [1].
  [1] - ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling et al., lemmy.dbzer0.com (2024)
I vote for option 1, since fluids are also unaffected by his gravity
Also a slight correction, maybe Richard LOVE cats
The cat had the zoomies, was running toward Richard, got spooked, turned to run away digging their carpet destroying knife hands into the carpet, and this is the still shot of them primed to reach escape velocity going away from Richard
Or ... Their greater mass renders them less affected than the tiny cat.
- That's not how gravity works. It's proportional to your own mass.

Richard evaporated, almost instantaneously.

The cat is a nice detail.

Black holes aren't like magnets

Boy are you wrong
Right. Magnets only work on ferrous metals. Black holes will suck anything in, even light.
- Saying they suck things in isn't really correct, unless you want to also say that the sun is constantly sucking Earth toward it. It's just gravity.
  Also, magnets don't only work on ferrous metals. Magnets push electrons through copper loops in generators and that's how we have electricity.
What about the comic made you think it was implying that?
- I think they're implying that a black hole the mass of a person has the same gravitational attraction that the person had before collapsing (negligible).

Not a physicist, but how long would a blackhole of that size last lol?

Hard to be completely sure.. but an earth mass black hole is roughly an inch across.
That's probably a Jupiter mass black hole.. things would be a lot more wild at that party.
Honestly this is an event horizon.. not the black hole itself and I'm too fucking lazy to do the schwazchild calculations maybe it matters at this scale.. maybe not.

Here is the novelization of the cartoon... sort of. As She Climbed Across the Table by Jonathan Lethem.

What's the opposite of a black hole?
That's me 👉😏👉

A white hole, emitting mass and energy. You vomit a lot?
- No but i do spew a bunch of bullshit all the time. lol