Ok, now this definitely counts as torture

imagine even jokingly having brand preferences for ~~stolen~~ bottled water

Have you tried Fiji? It tastes like boiled rocks. You can absolutely have preferences
- Weird. Fiji is one of the few that tastes like absolutely nothing to me which is what I want my water to taste like. Nothing. Don't like it's price though. It's fucking water. I ain't paying that much for water.
- Yeah I've been handed a bottle at some point when being sold something. If it tasted like anything it wasn't enough to have been memorable.
  It's fucking water.
- Dasani was withdrawn from the UK after just a few weeks. I tried it and it was truly disgusting.
  https://www.mashed.com/193457/the-real-reason-you-cant-buy-dasani-water-in-the-uk/
- Mmmmm... silica.
- Gerolsteiner still blows my mind
I don't have any strong preferences for bottled water when I have to purchase it except Desani somehow tastes absolutely disgusting
The only water preference that makes any sense to me
- wah'uh! pure wah'uh!

I found out that the taste of Dasani changes depending on where you are.

In California/Nevada it tastes like I'm sniffing an open sewer. Up north, it's perfectly inoffensive.

It’s fancy tap water. Amazing that Coke makes so much money off it
- Coke is secretly tap water + carbonated syrup.
its literally just tap water straight from a water main, that they basically don't pay for.
Where I live, the taste has that sort of La Croix thing going on where it tastes like the bottle sat open adjacent to a sewer. Smells alright, but when I taste it it makes me ಠ_ಠ

Any water snobs out there who have a favorite filter?

Tried something like this and it was absolutely godly:

Tap
I used marketing magic on my own brain by convincing myself I could taste the plastic in bottled water
- The plastic taste is real
- 👏 lucky
  I already filter and it just ain’t the best I’ve ever had and it’s hard to forget that fact
Reverse osmosis with a remineralization alkaline post filter. Best water I've ever had, installed one in the kitchen for cooking/drinking
- Nice, RO seems tops. Gotta sacrifice some water of course. Remineralization, interesting. Pricey? Evaluate a lotta brands? curious which one you went with.
I use ZeroWater filters with the pitcher. Even warm tap water tastes godly.
Out where I am they have primo. So I just take jugs to fill up. They're my favorite by default though they don't really have any other options where I live
- That’s delicious water too
- Brita should be sufficient!
  And if you know a friend with a membership - cheap equivalent:
I have a berkey and I really like it. Makes my water taste like water. Not much different than running fresh mountain stream water through a katadyn or something.

Worse it's evian

Even worse
It's Nestle Pure Life
Which maybe tastes okay
But shits on your soul because Nestle has now sustained you
Deerpark
Or Arrowhead
Is Evian not good? I usually don’t buy bottled water and just have a hydro flask with me but thought Evian was decent?
- now read the name backwards
- The authorities don't want you to know this but the [Evian is free and you can take it home](Source Cachat https://maps.app.goo.gl/hqpG1mSmynr3D93d9?g_st=ac)

Use S.Pellegrino or get out!

Sparkling waterboarding. I knew I wasn't the only one with this idea!

Do you reckon humour is ever used as an advanced torture resistance tactic? A very morbid thought, but I now wonder if anyone has ever made their torturers crack up to make them fond of their victim, in order to escape.

Where is the Topo Chico master race??