A wonderful day begins

Phrases that make absolutely no fucking sense in 194 countries out of 195

Elementary school police officer

😳

School bus tail gunner.
- Kindergarten Grenadier.
I'm an American, and I've never heard of this. I think it might mostly be a joke at the expense of the shithole officers of Uvalde.
- They are often called "resource officers" and there was at least one in every public school I went to (east coast).
I'd yeehaw if'n twernt so sad.
gotta teach those kids how to lick boots early on in life.
Must be Arnold Schwarzenegger working there
- IT'S NOT A TUMOR!
Well, you wouldn't want to let all these kids play with their guns without an officer to watch over them, would you?
My country had police officers in all schools for a month or so after the First Ever School Shooting In The Entire Country happened, but only because parents demanded it.

This was only a bit ago actually.
- I think most countries will eventually go through one. For the UK it was Dunblane, after which the government went "no more handguns then?" and we all went "yeah, I suppose", because only a handful of people kept them anyway.
Gotta make sure there's no drug deals going on
No, see they're mostly there so children learn to ~~obey through intimidation~~ talk to police, and they definitely never use it as a punishment detail for officers who got in trouble for anger issues

I have a special hate for inspirational water bottles, stickers or notebooks.

I have a special hatred for school police officers.
- Me too, although it's slightly less than normal ones, the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other and DARE once a year.

If your expected to empty this everyday you'll eventually end up being diabetic.

The hell is a school police officer??

Spotted the non-American! I'm very envious of your ignorance of this bullshit
- Is it like the hall monitor we see in American cartoons?
In the good ol USA, schools often have what's called a school resource officer. Meant to be the connection between school kids and the police department, they have been useful for truancy and other problems that happen with students ( esp. high school age) at schools.

Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.
- Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.
  
  Well that was the idea anyways
The dude we had to bribe with egg rolls to go to the chinese place off campus for lunch back in the 90s. Now Idunno.
Afaik the top bully in school.

So when a kid gets transferred to a new elementary school they are advised as a newcomer to punch the baddest bully/the officer to establish dominance, preferably during recess, with one of them prison food trays. ... no, wait, that can't be right, US kids dont get food at school.

(But for real, from the headlines I only ever heard bad things)

Had one of those at a previous job once Got stolen after a few days

Stop lying. You know you're a kindergarten teacher.

Julian approves.

That's a coffee bottle.

I have this exact bottle for Dr pepper. The guy at the gas station charges me for a cup of ice when I refill it and it's much cheaper than a 2 liter.

I've usually got about two litres in me by 10am, and have taken my fourth piss. This bottle would not suffice.