Making the schedule is the easy part. I could make the most amazing schedule of all time. It'll be fully booked with healthy eating, exercise, classes, work, sleep, you name it. Following it? Lol
Exactly. Too many people think about what we need to do instead of trying to help with ways how to do them
Let's see, 8am Monday, Mon day, moon day, that can't be it though... Holy fuck it is,! Wait, does that mean Saturday is Saturn Day?
Three hours later
Yes, I was aware that we had a meeting at 9 today ... Did you know that Sanskrit has a significant influence on English vocabulary? Yes, I am serious. Hello?
A (nice) coworker once asked me if I had a system for managing tasks.
I thought they were asking to learn, so I enthusiastically told them about the ~30 different systems I use; the inbox of all incoming tasks, a flowchart for task allocation, urgency VS importance whiteboards, etc, etc. I mentioned each of the books and methodologies those systems came from. (I highly recommend this 5min vid and listening to Order from Chaos (written by and for people with ADHD))
"Oh... cool" was their response, and in that moment I realized they were actually asking because they thought I didn't have any system at all...
I just checked out the book and bought it, thanks!
Yes, but which scheduling app should I use? Best start with a spreadsheet to narrow down the best option, then I can really get cracking.
Emacs' org mode is the best note taking app. You go down the rabbit hole configuring it that you forget why you downloaded emacs in the first place.
I have been wanting a dual-boot Linux system. It would be silly not to take advantage of this world-class note-taking capability...
My therapist eventually built me up to a schedule for a week, there are things that need to happen before that so that the schedule is sustainable.
We worked in my emotional regulation, my motivation to do things, what I want my purpose to be in life, my self image, and more, additionally, I'm on two ADHD meds.
So yeah, schedule is the right answer, but it's not where you start, if your therapist starts there and doesn't wanna work with you to get there, they may not be a good fit
Funny, for me, a schedule is exactly the wrong answer. What worked best for me was fully leaning into my distractions - I just "let" myself be distracted by the things I "should" be doing, and not really caring about if they happen or not.
What I mean by that is, whenever I notice something, I just do it, regardless of what I'm currently doing. Let's say I'm currently writing a shopping list. I notice that I have to pee. I go to the bath. I see clothes that should go in the drawer. I take said clothes to the drawer. I still have to pee, I remember that I wanted to go to the toilet. I pee. I notice hair in the shower. I collect the hair and throw it away. I want to go play some games. I go to the desk, see my phone with the shopping list app still open. I continue making my shopping list.
Obviously, stuff still gets lost this way, but actually not very many things. So little gets lost that way that I actually can just not care about them. For example in the above, maybe I never get to the shopping list again. But I made part of it, and it's not like I need a shopping list to go shopping, I'll still be able to get something from the store so that I don't starve, even though I maybe miss some of the stuff I wanted. And I did so many other things instead that "had" to be done that I'm still happy in general, I know what the shopping list was replaced by and still feel good about these things.
The middle part of your comment obviously is very fucking important for this. You have to actually want to do the things, know you can do them, try to feel good about doing them, forgive yourself if you don't do them, etc etc etc.
For me, this embraced chaos works so much better than any schedule ever could, because I love this way of living so much more than the rigidity.
it looks blurry because we're just that exhausted
The less pixels in this Affleck reaction correlates directly to how exhausted one is
Tip: instead of making schedules, try to build habits.
Start with something small and make an effort to do it every single day for a month or every day of the week for three months.
The hardest part is to be consistent, so try to not skip more than one day.
Tip: instead of making schedules, try to build habits. [....] The hardest part is to be consistent, so try to not skip more than one day.
This is some 'gee thanks I'm cured' sort of advice. I've repeatedly tried to create habits, but they do not stick and my brain will drop them like a hot potato if I'm not actively keeping the habit going. The only relief I've found is a gamification app that helps me remember all the habits I need to do. And even then I still forget to do all my habits on the reg....
Not the guy you're responding to but I made a comment upthread that I found success by developing interlocking habits, or in some cases it's fair to say rituals rather than habits ... little sub-habits that guide you to the main one you want to develop, or briefly reward you when you've completed it. Items or processes in your environment which cue you and remind you that the habits you want to do even exist.
For example, 2 sub-components of what finally got me to remember to meditate (or skip, but intentionally 😒) were writing a brief journal entry of my observations after each sit with a piece of chocolate, and having a couple little succulents with a light on a timer by my altar, so that every time I'm in the room during the day the altar area, with a couple plants I need to keep an eye on for their health, is lit up to draw me in if I'm ready.
Doing things this way is very intentional and thus exhausting, and it requires a lot of trial and error to figure out the little sub-habits that all work together and that actually work for you (since some inevitably won't), and hell as somebody explaining it I've only had a couple big successes with it because I often don't have the energy/brainpower to figure all this out ... but man when I can pull it off, it works sooo well.
I'm a huge believer in "prosthetic environments" which I believe is a concept Dr. Russell Barkley came up with, he annoys me a little but as an ADHD research he's like 85% dead on target about this stuff, and thinks deeply about it.
Good luck!
I mean, if it's a new therapist it still seems valuable to go through the "obvious" checklist first just to make sure you've covered your bases. For some people it may be enough, even if it isn't for most 🤷🏼♂️
I can't find a good enough scheduling app with all the features I want.
Maybe I should buy a good notebook and calendar. But I can't find one that has the right dimensions... Ooh, Amazon is having a huge book sale. I'll get a couple, since they're buy one get one 1/2 off.
Oh right, I needed a notebook for making a schedule. I want to check best buy for a new router since I just got fiber.
Oh right... the schedule...
In my case, I decided to cut Big Tech out of my life which led to dropping Google Calendar in favor of an open source solution, which works exactly the same except for GCal's one teensy little proprietary extension: reminders.
Living without that snoozable reminder stack for the past 4 years has been like walking around with a hole in my side.
I have found that it really really helps to keep a notebook and keep a running list per day of all the things I HAVE to do that day
I work as a developer/ cloud IT engineer. All day long people mention something in meetings or I need to check the uptime/status of a particular asset. It was getting to be too much to keep track of every little thing I had to do.
I eventually settled for writing down things mentioned to me, or things that I'm reminded of. The vast majority of my work I remember, don't need to write down to keep track of.
Glancing over this, I get that it's incredibly vague advice. But following a version of this, and starting a new page every day, has really helped me keep track of things.
Bullet journaling is fscking amazing for this, unfortunately after many years of hard experience, I've come to understand that I'm so receptive to environmental stimuli that I just haven't been able to maintain such a system in a chaotic environment ... I need a certain level of baseline peace / recharge in order to be able to stay on top of systems like these. But they do work so well when I can manage it
That's fair I really wouldn't call my strategy bullet journaling, more like writing a daily to-do list (sparse reminders)
Schedule doesn’t work me. What works are reminders that stay on my Lock Screen until I dismiss them. Now I just have to resist the urge of dismissing them early or ignoring them all day…
Wish that worked for me, I just ignore them cus I'm doing something and end up feeling guilty about ignoring them.
I made them stay on my screen until I check them off. Using iOS reminders with time (no time reminders are never looked at). The timed ones stay on your lock screen until you do them. It doesn’t work every time but it’s good way to nag me before jumping into social media.
I don't think making schedules is gonna improve my mental health, doc.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
This reminds me of a recent thread where someone said they had a hard time feeling motivated to try new hobbies.
They were told by a few people to just try new hobbies.
"Thanks, I'll add a note to make a schedule"
makes schedule never
this is my cue to show them the million task lists and corresponding calendar appointments with 87 notifications each
