The thing that shouldn't be

Indeed. It’s frightening to know that people eat this chemical shit that shouldn’t be called food.

I mean... It's delicious, bud.
- Maybe if your normal diet is sugar and foam
- It's a matter of taste. For me it really is not. It tastes disgusting.

So there's a scene in A Goofy Movie where a guy gets paid for his part in some shenanigans by some edible substance in a spray bottle. Given that I was a kid in a non-English speaking country growing up and watching this movie dubbed to my native language, the substance that the character proclaims that he has received is 'Caramel sauce'.

It was only later in life, when I watched the movie with the original English language, that I learned that the character in reality proclaimed 'Cheez-Wiz'.

All of this to say that the concept of spray cheese was so foreign to our country that they decided to substantially change this scene.

Looking back, I think they should have kept the original - gulfing down caramel sauce straight from the bottle just doesn't hit the same as gulfing down spray cheese.

And you miss the "leaning tower of Chees-a" pun.
- That line has lived in my head rent free since the first time I saw the trailer as a 6yo
Isn't Cheez-Wiz a brand?
I wouldn't mind at all when they replace product placement.
- Looks like I misremembered, the actual line was 'Chedda Wizzy': https://youtu.be/V9gOOAWebK8

A few years back, I was dating an Italian woman (she was a uni lecturer here in the UK). One day, she saw me grating cheddar cheese onto a pizza and she went fucking mental

Italians acting like food gods is one of the most obnoxious things ever.
- It's anoying, but you get used to it.
  The thing is, if you don't complain about the food quality, daddy capitalism will make sure you'll eat the cheapest garbage possible.
  And I think all the complaining is why food is so damn good in Italy. As a person from the North Europe, I can tell you that almost everything tastes so much better in Italy, and food is overall much higher quality.
  That's why if you see a fat person in Italy, it's likely a tourist.
What an obnoxious behaviour. What problem she had with cheddar cheese on pizza?
- "This is not the cheese for pizza! Why? Why you do this?!" she kept saying over and over, I thought she was joking at first but genuinely distressed. Tbh she was a bit of a strange woman (and I say this as an objectively strange man). It didn't last longer than a few months!
  Final straw was when she had been saying she missed home badly, so for her next visit I bought a dining table, assembled it myself, bought a bunch of Italian foods, some Italian wine, got it all setup with a nice tablecloth and spread when she got to mine, and she literally went "meh" when she sat down hahaha.
- It's not mozzarella from some specific region, probably.
Italians, the inventors of deep fried pizza (pizza fritte)

And then they have the fucking audacity to criticise beans on toast.

Only because they've never had beans on toast. Well because they've only ever eaten American style baked beans.
Do Americans even have toasters, they seem to think that a good breakfast constitutes a pile of butter and syrup, so I'm going to assume that they're not prepared to eat anything that doesn't have 300 kg of sugar in it.
- A British person should know better than to criticize food with actual flavor.
- Oh shut the fuck up man. Not all of us eat like that.
"Yes, Great Britain, the culinary center of the universe," said no fucking person ever..... ;) lol
- That's the point, even our quaint little comfort food is luxury cuisine by comparison to this!
- American food is closer to a chemical formulation than it is to "cuisine".

Yuropean here. What in the world is that?!

It's delicious cheese product.
- Cheese-like product* for legal reasons we are not able to call it cheese.
i am frightened successfully

As a European I'm... sort of not in love with the idea of that. I'd try it, though.

American "cheese", the individually wrapped kind, is pretty useful in cheese sauce. Maybe not something I'd use on its own.

As an American, I will observe that it has the property of melting perfectly on a properly-cooked burger. Does great in a grilled cheese sandwich as well. Since we eat a lot of burgers and grilled cheeses, we find it to be a useful cheese and eat a lot of it. And nachos, which are often made with american cheese since, as you say, it melts great into a sauce.
Most Americans don't use american cheese on everything that has cheese in it, but it has its specific role.
- Some of us try our best to never eat it.
- If you are making burgers, i highly recommend Raclette cheese. It doesn't melt quite as evenly as analogue cheese with sodium. But AOP Raclette cheese is natural and designed to melt - and it tastes so much better than any analogue.
- it has the property of melting perfectly on a properly-cooked burger.
American cheese is basically cheese with sodium citrate added. That's what makes it so good at melting.
You can make real cheeses melt better by using powdered sodium citrate. The ratio depends somewhat on how hard the cheese is but it's somewhere around 2-3% sodium citrate to cheese.
- Mix lemon juice and baking soda to quickly obtain sodium citrate
Every time one of my friends has flown across the pond I've asked them to bring back spray cheese, they've never been able to find it! I want to experience this monstrosity, though to be fair I am an absolute savage.

I've seen this on the 'American shelf' in supermarkets before and was tempted by it as a novelty. I just looked at the Wikipedia and its just processed cheese extruded by a piston. Europeans buy processed cheese too, you get it in every supermarket. And maybe the smelting salts (is it called that?) are not too healthy when constantly consumed, but what isn't? I don't mind, let people have fun, stuff's hard enough as it is.

I agree with your sentiment, and I haven't had it for probably like 20 years, but it's nasty. As an American, I don't understand it. I won't tell anyone they shouldn't eat it (except for pointing out how much salt it has in it), but it really shouldn't exist I don't think. There are better ways to eat unhealthy things.
I dunno. I bought american cheese sauce because I thought americans love their cheese so the sauce will be good. Tastes like plastic.
- Same the Americans love their cheese is a bit like saying that the French love baguettes.
  They do love their baguettes but they don't have much interest in any other type of bread. Equally Americans are not interested in any type of cheese that isn't neon yellow

Processed "real" cheese or not Tried it twice, its a vile can of piss coloured poison to me

Probably doesn't help that I'm not american

I am American and it still is a vile can of piss colored poison.
- lmao, nice

It is nasty, and I won't defend it, but Europe has plenty to apologize for, culinarily speaking.

This is the continent that invented the horror that is Lutefisk.
- Looks revolting, does it come close to surströmming though?
- And they still eat it, often on purpose.
Careful, the Euro's are quite fragile here on Lemmy. Mention the imperial system and they'll fly right the fuck off the handle.
- Didn't the internet teach you anything? Bananas are the correct way to measure things.

I feel like this product would be better if it didn't pretend to be cheese, but just some form of spread.

From Wikipedia:
"Processed cheese spreads, like Easy Cheese, have a moisture content that ranges from 44 to 60%, while its milk fat content must be greater than 20%.[4] Milk proteins are needed for processed cheese spread production, and contains two main types: casein, which accounts for at least 80%, and whey protein, which can further be classified into α-lactalbumin and β-lactoglobulin. The manufacturing of processed cheese spreads uses natural cheese with a composition that ranges from 60 to 75% intact casein."
It's cheese.
- According to whom?

South American here. Wtf is that? And how do I get one?

Cheese wiz. Probably Amazon has it. Amazing on crackers.

Now tell them you enjoy spray cheese on a Ritz cracker with caviar because you're cultured

I'm actually not sure spray cheese has cultures... I like your optimism, though!

We aren't frightened, because our definition of cheese is different.

In some countries that cheese in a can stuff cannot be legally called cheese. It's a dairy product, or something like that.

Regular cheese is too difficult. Dont we have anything easier?

More than half of Americans over 17 read below a sixth grade level. We need the easiest cheese possible.
- Is it really easier than cutting a block.
  It's just fucking disgusting and wasteful
Homemade(milk, vinegar, sieve) cottage cheese takes two minutes and tastes like cheese.
Cheez wiz is the epitome of toxic capitalism.
I know not really, but this post is about cheese so chill.

-"Yay! Finally due for some American-style freedom and democracy! At last the mathematical majority of the populace will decide who gets elected! No longer will an elite clique of corruptible intermediaries have the last word on who gets to be in power in the country!"

-"Weeeeelllll, about that..."

-"Aw, well at least we get some real cheese!"

-"..."

There's a ton of degenerate things in Europe too. For instance, italians have a pizza with potatoes on top. Swedes like cheese inside their coffee. Swedes also like tomato sauce, cheese and i think ham paste off an aluminium toothpaste like squeeze tube. Swedes are absolute lovable degenerates.

Germans have these devices which look like a massive cow tit to "milk" as it were, their ketchup and mayonnaise from.

Potato pizza is damn good though.
France has "ketchup and pasta." I figured it would be some fancy, European ketchup. Nope, Heinz out of the bottle. Heretics.
- Poor people food like Ramen
Swedes like WHAT in their coffee?
- I'm fairly sure that's not a thing. It's certainly something I've never ever heard of
Im german and wtf are you talking about? Certainly doesn't ring a bell based off your description
- In Finland we have these at some restaurants, more often on a fast food places at the kitchen:
  Apparently they're more convenient to use for the kitchen staff than a squirt bottle. Fill the thing with ketchup/mustard/mayonnaise and you can 'milk' appropriate amount of whatever on the dish. They're not commonly used by customers, for obvious reasons.
  And cheese in coffee is absolutely a thing, but it's not just any cheese, you need to have bread cheese.
- They are called "Euterspender" (udder dispenser)
- I saw them in fairs and public events. It's like a big bottle of condiment with a huge cow tit, like the picture that has been posted here.
  I used one while eating my white brattwurst.
Swedes like cheese inside their coffee
They should try it with Easy Cheese! Cannot possibly be worse than that already sounds
The Dutch have chocolate sprinkles on toast.
Swedes in general do not like cheese in their coffee and would have no idea what you're talking about. I can only assume you're thinking of kaffeost/juustoleipä which is only found locally in certain areas of the north and Finland. It's also delicious by the way, think salty cubes of hard cheese that you put in coffee and eat with a spoon. It makes a squeaking sound between your teeth and can also be eaten on the side as a cheesecake with cloudberry jam. (The coffee should also be pot-boiled in the traditional way.)
Swedes used to drink coffee in small cups with 1-2 lumps of sugar and cream in it. That was the standard way for adults to drink coffee 40 years ago here before globalization really kicked in - now a standard café in Sweden is exactly like anywhere else in the world.
- I do not quite remember local word for it, but yes, i saw it while travelling through Kiruna, so it was in the north.
  I had it. My southern European self considered becoming anti Schengen because of it. I love your country, but you people should be banned from having coffee.
  Also yeah, the whole world is very similar in many aspects, but the comment was about funny degenerate things I've seen across Europe and that is pretty degenerate. Just poking a little fun, is all.
I can get ketchup from a massive cow tit!? holy shit based.
omg I found them these are actually brilliant, unlike the pump bottles you'll never get the random money shot of condiment that misses your hotdog completely and gets on your shirt.
In the Netherlands it is fairly common to spread margarine on bread (along with something like chocolate sprinkles, cold cuts or cheese). I think it tastes disgusting.
Yes, and we can and do condemn them for that as well.
Don't forget Swedish banana and curry pizza
- Oh yeah. I also saw a lettuce and fries pizza in Sweden. It was as terrible as it sounded.
Swedes like cheese inside their coffee.
When I read horrifying things about other countries' cuisines I usually just shrug and say 'cultural differences'. Eggs boiled in piss? 'Cultural differences'. Duck embryos on toast? 'Cultural differences'. Cheese swarming with maggots? 'Cultural differences'.
But this... if a Swede popped up in front of me right now and said "yeah, I like to inject hot ham water directly into my eyeballs", I think I'd have a better shot at understanding and accepting.
Germans have these devices which look like a massive cow tit to "milk" as it were, their ketchup and mayonnaise from.
What is that supposed to be? I have never seen anything like that lol. In Germany there are bottles with Ketchup...
- You'll probably only see it at events. They come in huge bottles. Yeah they do, but the tit, after you get over it, is quite awesome.
- There's a couple of different types but don't be surprised if you see ketchup and mustard hanging at a Bratwurst stand.
  They're even officially called "udder dispensers".
Swedes also like tomato sauce, cheese and i think ham paste off an aluminium toothpaste like squeeze tube.
Yeah, it's basically a squeezy sandwich.

I love it. It actually contains cheese too. The ingredients aren't any worse than boxed mac and cheese.

I’ve tried american boxed mac n cheese once. I think it was also kraft brand. It was utterly disgusting. Had nothing to do with cheese and barely with maccaroni… eating a block of butter is a strangely similar yet more pleasant experience and probably more nutritious.
- What the fuck are you cheese Nazis on about? Why do you keep saying things aren't cheese when they are made of cheese?
Whats that?

It's actually so good on Ritz or chicken in a biskit

chicken in a biscuit gets stales so quickly though
- I thought 'chicken in a biscuit' was slang for a weird sexual fetish.
- How did you ever find out? 😁

Got my Cheese Whiz boy?

It's real cheese you troglodytes, just because it isn't from a wheel aged in a cave in a specific region of Europe doesn't mean it's not real cheese.

It has to come from a specific never-effing* pre-historic cave-dwelling cheese from the Cheese region of Franco-Switzerland
*Fine, auto-correct. Fine. You win this one

Mmmm I love "cheese"

There's no Twinkie Weiner Dogs in Europe?

I can taste it just looking at the picture

My blood sugar rose after knowing this exists.