What's the best apocalypse?

When I was a freshly graduated paramedic I responded to a attempted mass suicide of a cult.(Around 15 people)

They thought the apocalypse would be coming... By inciting, well, basically an orgy,with all sexual inhibitions falling and humans sinning beyond belief. While some of their fears were at least somewhat relatable (like fathers laying their hand on their daughters) most of it was batshit crazy. They believed they need to kill themself before that happens so they would still get into heaven.

...they fucked that up,massively,as well. None died.

Jesus Christ. Can you tell us more?
How did they fuck up dying?
Can you say where/what they called themselves?
What was the most batshit crazy part of it?
- Basically they underdosed so hard that even 14 year old drug addict does take more - and very likely their stuff didn't partially work at all, as they put it in tea. So... Most of them did only feel very good/bad/nauseated, some got unconscious.
  The crazy part was me coming into that room seeing them and VERY MUCH reconsidering my life choices. I graduated a few weeks backs, just got pissed and spat on the call before and now that. And then panicing a bit and calling dispatch to "send me everything ". Which they did and ended up...a bit much... Like...very much too much.
  Can't remember the name and can't tell either,sorry. That is a long time ago,20 years+ some.

Solar-Punk apocalypse. All plastic gone. All oil gone.

Flip the switch, and the virtual simulation we're in shuts down.

Vacuum Decay bubble sweeping over our solar system. That sould be straight tits. Its like the "Irish Goodbye" of reality itself. Just poof! And ya outta heeeeeeere!

I'll take one, please.

Guy had amazing lines

If you've read or seen The Road, whatever that was. because it was complete and total. none of this half measures, pockets of safety and free cities bull shit

Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman is a great contender for an end of the world scenario.

Tl;dr: aliens set loose a super intelligent AI on the planet as the gameshow host to the elimination of nigh all life on Earth, as part of a running Survivor-esque intergalactic production.

I'm honestly super down for the Rapture. All the Christians getting beamed up to infini-church while the rest of us finally get to live without them

God's gonna feel like such an asshole when those left on Earth don't descend into chaos
that would only "confirm" they were right all along and then the rest of us (or many at least) would immediately jump on the bandwagon in hopes for a repeat
- Honestly I wish they were right. I'd give anything to see those fuckers squirm in front of st peter
- Fuck that. I'll have no truck with a god that allows children to die of slow agonizing cancer.

A virus that makes 9/10 of humanity infertile.

Personally I'm a big fan of the Hadron Collider accidentally creating a black hole.

Just as a heads up on this one. Cosmic rays have been doing the same things that have been happening at the LHC, but for billions of years and up to more than a million times higher energy. If the LHC could make a world ending black hole, cosmic rays would have already made one long ago!
I don't want to be turned to interstellar spaghetti thank you very much

Dual-vector foil from the Three Body Problem series. Everything just gets lethally downgraded from three-dimensional to two-dimensional.

The Mayan one in 2012 was pretty good, I really enjoyed it. It ended with the masterpiece that is Gangnam Style.

Our schools lunch guy fell so hard into this to the point he quit in the days before the date to stand outside the school all day with a sign warning us of whats to come. Great guy with a good heart but wow did those pastors on that radio station have a grip on him.
- For a moment there I thought you were talking about gangnam style.
- I remember further back to the big one in 2000. I had a coworker who was convinced it was the end times and had been massively hoarding food for it. He had even been buying stuff like fruit trees, planting them in his backyard along with building a huge garden.
  Friends of his had told us he had built a bunker for his family. He got really weird (or weirder) toward the end of that year and started inviting certain close coworkers, who were still talking to him, to hold up with him and his family.
  Oddly enough it was only guys with young wives or girlfriends , and they were specifically invited to join. No one went but we all joked he was trying to start a cult.
  The guy soon after got fired and I never heard from him again. Am sure he is still around somewhere.
I distinctly remember Gangnam style being earlier in the year (they played it at my freshman orientation), wasn't the "prediction" for December?
Hella fun at parties btw
- Yes you're right. But it was connected with the December date. It was the first youtube video to achieve 1 billion views on or around Dec 12, when the apocalypse was prophesied.

Infinity war style, snap of the fingers and its all over

Hyperspace bypass.

Fairest apocalypse because notice was posted.
- Exactly.
  What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centuri?

I'd have to go with Virus.

Wipes out enough people to give humanity a chance to at least try something new from the ashes of the old world, but doesn't leave a lingering threat like Zombies or Aliens or something like that. The survivors (ostensibly those immune to the virus) have struggles, for sure, but at least can rebuild without worrying about a constant existential threat.

Like the show, The Last Man on Earth. I'd take that deal.
- I love that, despite being a comedy, they actually address problems that 99% of apocalypse media ignores such as gasoline going bad, reactors melting down, etc.

Ragnarök is quite cool, first there is huge battle between giants, gods and mortals. Then at the end when mostly all noteworthy characters are dead, surtur burns the whole mess down and sun turns black, stars fall and everything falls into boiling sea. And after all that world is reborn and there will be no more evil.

there is a song I really like about this one
https://youtu.be/PCpi1sZEZ1U
Actually a few songs.
https://youtu.be/U6xXsp03wyg
https://youtu.be/JFYVcz7h3o0
Also Loki by Amon Amarth talks about the end times.
There are "Twilight of the Gods" by at least Helloween, Blind Guardian, and Therion.

TWD zombies ofcourse.

The best one is the show in the Restaurant At The End Of The Universe.

which is that? damn I need to reread hhg it's been a while

The one from the end of Bugonia seemed pretty good

spoilers, man

Global basilisk hack. Everyone staring at a screen has a fatal seizure and tips over. Uncontacted tribes in the Amazon basin inherit the Earth.

This implies that the earth is ours. That's such a christian worldview.

Metalocalypse

In my case, nuclear annihilation. I'm in an area where there's a pretty good chance when the clock strikes midnight, my city will absolutely be obliterated and hopefully I will disintegrate with it.

It'll suck for any survivors, but I have a good change of not having to live through it. I'd be dead weight because of being on life saving meds, so you don't want me in an apocalypse.

Reading the terminals in Fallout 4 and the heartbreak sprinkled within them. Lost people searching for lost loves in the wreckage of social collapse. Searching through twisted metal for any scrap to cling to your new existence. Defiantly a worthy apocalyptic hell scape.

Best in what way?

More humane? best chance of recovery? most brutal?

Dealer's choice.

The best apocalypse is the one you already have. There's no need to go out get a new apocalypse when your old one is dooming people just fine, that's how you start a climate apocalypse.

This one is too slow :(

Recently PLUR1BUS seems alright, one of the characters in the show even argues that things are better

I love that show. And unless the original, human, "others" are aware of the whole thing, that is, if the humans are trapped in their own minds/bodies, then I think the pluribus effect is a net positive. Pretty much all human suffering has ended. To rollback the whole thing is to create an incalculable amount of suffering.
- I love the way you put it in that last line.
  Early abrahamic philosophers go over the god question like this, basically saying that if God/Yahweh/Allah exists and is all-powerful and doesn't stop suffering, then he can't possibly be good. Other religious philosophers figured life is a soul building experience, therefore the net good of making positive choices is greater than if everything was perfect by default.
  The way the problem is set up in Pluribus is insanely well done.

IT’S A COOKBOOK

Tell me more.
- We go good with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.