Tried to help. I was politely told to leave the kitchen 🤣

eh, it can work. when my wife was well enough to cook we'd divide it like she washes, I chop and prep, and she cooks, then we split cleaning. Now I'm doing all of that and I really appreciate the occasions where we have a friend visiting who is willing to do some prep and cleaning. I usually do the cooking even when I have help, mostly because it's rare to find someone who knows how to cook what we eat. But I'm always eager to have help.

Before my mom got to the point of not being able to cook anymore, we routinely cooked together for most of my life (as in, from the age of about 8 until I was 31. I'm 34 now). It was wonderful. We'd get excited, try new things, make little rest batches to try out new spice ideas. Cooking with someone else, someone that you love, get along with, is a fantastic experience. It adds so much to life. Cooking, food, meals, eating, it's our most basic and lasting form of art, a showcase of love and expression. Doing that collaboratively can be a really splendid thing.
if you don't mind me asking, is your wife still with you?
- She is. She has cancer and spends a lot of time resting. She has more energy in the morning. She makes her breakfast. But I do all the cooking at night and usually lunch too.
I'm with you. You can absolutely have two people in the kitchen... But only one can be in charge. My wife and I love cooking together, but if it is her meal or baking then she's in charge. I do things her way, and I stay out of the way if I need to. It can't be a competition or battle of wills. Someone leads, and someone willingly swallows their pride and washes the excessive number of measuring spoons or chops celery finer than they personally prefer it, or stands-by patiently while their partner curses at the recipe being half in metric and half imperial measurements.
I'm glad you and your wife were able to share that. Or whatever version of that was yours.
- Yeah. It was a lot like that. She'd find a recipe to try, or want one of her favorites, and I'd just ask her how she wanted things chopped and prepped.

A game called Overcooked matches what I experience when there's more than one person in the kitchen.

Such a good party game.
- As someone who has worked in fast food, I fucking hate that game.

I like cooking with a partner, but we tend to choose before starting who is the chef and who is the sous for that meal. The sous just preps and keeps the space tidy and fetches shit while the chef orchestrates and cooks. This is a heck of a lot more fun, and then the chef can be like "go set the table" or "start washing up" once there's nothing else needed. Keeps it moving

I mean it's great cooking with people that have a teamwork mindset just like in a good restaurant. But with backseat chefs that barge in halfway through the cooking process wanting you to change up the whole meal it just doesn't work. It's like...OK but why didn't you tell me an hour ago? And this is gonna double the dishes to clean.

It’s baffling to me that people actually enjoy cooking. I don’t, and likely would just starve if left to my own devices.

Luckily, my partner loves cooking (we have a pretty symbiotic relationship). When I offer the help, the response is usually, “Stay over there, out of the way, and look pretty” lol

When I feel bad I go all out with cooking. Either trying a new dish or making one that takes a lot of time. Helps me keep my mind off of things and the end result is amazing food.
I like cooking in general tho, but the most time consuming dishes I make when I feel like shit.
As it should be
I'm not sure anyone enjoys every facet of cooking. The dishes, the cleaning, the prep... These are hard work. But the results can be very gratifying.

Cooking dinner together is one of my favorite dates. Making it work is all about good communication and working together for a shared goal.

It's easier to cook by yourself, sure, but it's also less fun.

I used to be married to a chef, cooking together was one of our primary bonding points. They taught me how to cook at a professional quality but I've never gotten to a professional speed. Usually that meant I'd do prep work while they did a million things around me but as long as I was in my station it worked really well. Even now we're not together I love cooking with people in general doesn't matter if they get in my way or not. It's just such a fun way to interact with people and I'm more invested in that than whatever the food result is

My wife cannot cook with me because she cannot fathom that I worked in kitchens, I watch youtube chefs for fun and when I want to I can COOK. She hasnt, doesnt and cant but thinks this is an equal partnership where there isnt someone in charge and someone helping. Ive tried but she just has no concept of time management or order of operations but perhaps the worst was when I was chopping vegetables and she reached under the blade to pinch a fresh slice to eat and popped it in her mouth with a smile... she stuck her fingers under a razor sharp chefs knife mid stroke to be cute...
Nope. 3 digit hand jobs are not sexy, I'll cook for you sweetheart go relax.

If we cook together what really happens is one of us does the actual cooking and the other person preps ingredients/cleans cookware.

imagine separating "actual cooking" and "prepping". Maybe "work the skillet/pot/oven" and "prep" or the typical "pre-prod" "prod" and "post".
Prepping and cleaning can be shared. That is how you split the labor. That is cooking together. If one person is less skilled maybe try to learn a little so you can enjoy it together (or not, maybe thats just their thing just a suggestion) and maybe if you are the more skilled one offer helpful tips.
Im being too serioili for a meme sub my bad but still cooking together can be fun
- imagine separating "actual cooking" and "prepping"
  You mean like a professional kitchen?
Yeah this is how we do. Though usually I do more washing veggies than cutting them. Plus I'll do the meat usually. But recipe execution and seasonings are all her. I'll take the brunt of the dishwashing, she usually does counters and stove etc.
It's always a mix of who does what but usually we get along well in the kitchen.

I love cooking together, especially if it's something complicated that requires a lot of prep and multiple steps. If you have good communication with your partner it can be fun, it really feels like team effort, and it can speed up the cooking quite a bit. Overall it's probably easier to cook alone, but cooking together is faster and more fun in my experience.

i would say cooking together works when one is the main cook and other is prepping or both work on different components of the meal

Cooking together is like dancing - both have to pay attention to, and complement, their partner's movements.
I have friends who's kitchen work as a couple is as amazing to watch as great ballroom dancers, but with hot things and sharp knives.

My partner says she "wants to cook together" what she actually means is she puts the stuff in the pot and spices it and I chop the veggies and clean up. But if I don't she's not quick enough to get dinner done before the children eat my skin.

I feel so seen

There seems to be a sharp divide here.

I have a friend who is like this, used to be a physical chemist, knows exactly what she is trying to make and it's a calibrated procedure that she needs to be focused for.

I like hanging out in the kitchen and I certainly like having someone willing to help out with stuff.

Yo so true. Get the fuck out of my kitchen! My wife always comes in when I’m juggling 2+ tasks lol. “NO, DONT TRY TO HELP! Love youuuuuu, go grab a drink” lol

I can see both sides of the argument as a former professional, and current recovering perfectionist. I don't want to be social when I got a 10 inch knife in my hands, but once I'm actually cooking and not just cutting stuff up, let's make it a group activity! But I grew up in a household where cooking was considered social hour.

this meme doesn't apply to everyone. my dad helps my mom cook all the time. When i was with my ex i would of loved her help, and offered mine.

I agree with you, but it's "would have" sorry for the pedantic nature of this comment, but that kinda mistake makes me irrationally angry.
- i see your pedantry and raise you one further, they clearly meant "would've" which sounds just like "would of"
- fair enough

Depends how big your kitchen is, what you're making and how organized you are. If you're working in an appartment kitchenette you can hardly turn around in, probably not. If you're making a family dinner for a dozen people or more in a big room sized kitchen in a family home, then yeah maybe you want some help.

I’m not even in a relationship and I tell people to get out.

My most common response to people asking what they can do to help is, “get the fuck out of my kitchen.”

This is flat out wrong... This person is telling on either themselves, or their incompetent partner.

I do most of the cooking, but I love help in the kitchen.

Really depends. I don't want to be interrupted when I got a knife in my hand, but once the mirapoix hits the heat I love an extra set of hands for shredding chicken/taking down the bougousie/etc.
- /taking down the bougousie/etc.
  squints
  I bet you could get some help with that in this lemmy crowd.
- I believe you. I believe you would know if you wanted to be interrupted or not, haha.
  I don't really understand, though. Is it not possible to cut things while someone cuts something else?

Bruh, this hits so hard. I used to work a line, and loved/hated everyone I worked with. I still cook at home occasionally and will happily do so for an SO. But don't fucking bother me while I'm making you fucking ragu from scratch! This shit takes hours of boiling after cutting up everything, we can talk then!

My girlfriend always asks if she can help and my answer is no 99% of the time. I'll ask her for help stirring something while I go to the bathroom. Nothing more.

Then again, she does drive a long way to come to my house, the least I can do is cook for her and let her relax. So works out for both of us.

If my wife or I are cooking, and the other is in the kitchen, there's an argument. Every damn time. Like girl, get the hell out my way, these onions ain't chopping themselves and you keep knocking into me.

When I want help is when all dishes need to finish at about the same time and each dish requires attention and input. Then I explain the steps and delegate the easiest dish to whoever is within shouting distance just before that time comes. If you want a chill experience with me in the kitchen, come see me during prep work.

And while we're at it, yes the plate from what you are eating from is hot. We're serving hot food to here, not microwaved instant noodles.

There are some different modes of cooking in the kitchen.

If you want to intentionally cook with someone, then there needs to be a plan made in advance of who is doing what/where. Plan to make the salad, while the other works on the main dish, etc. This establishes individual work flows and understanding of what resources need to be allocated.

When cooking solo, task scheduling is done in the head linearly and having to stop the flow and redirect it to words can be frustrating as it disrupts speed/timing of scheduled tasks to be completed. This can be done with multiple experienced cooks that are aware of what's going on without disrupting flow but not your typical couple.

If being intimate is the goal, then choose something that can be done as a group project in a more laid back manner. Think baking cookies, or a sit down activity like shaping gyoza dumplings where more hands the better. Or choose a single recipe where one can be the hand and the other can be the brain as an instructional/learning experience.

I always had this romantic notion growing up of cuddling my beloved from behind when she is cooking, but my wife fucking hates it. Conversely, I don't like having other people in the kitchen when I'm cooking so I fully understand.

So true. I have never raged (nor been raged at) as hard as I’ve raged (and been raged at) in the kitchen!

Can confirm. If I am in the kitchen, everyone else gets the cleaver brandished at them. It's not that I don't appreciate the help, it's that I am kinda dancing around the kitchen and no one else knows the steps and I end up bumping into them.

Like others in the responses, we split the labor, not chop veg while doing doggy style or whatever that couple in the picture is doing.

Generally, I cook, my husband cleans up after.

Sometimes I ask my kids to prep or I prep and ask them to cook (if I have to leave the house).

Occasionally I ask someone to open and assemble bagged salad while I cook, that's about the only "cooking together at the same time in the same space" I can think of off hand.

Why they both have the same face?

The incest trope is everywhere

The house I live in has an open floor plan so the living room kitchen and dining room are all one big area. It is literally impossible to make something in there without my housemates trying to have some inane conversation with me and asking 20 questions about what I'm making. It's annoying as fuck. This is just quick stuff too. Trying to make an actual meal is completely out of the question

You guys are getting told things?