snail lyfe

working as a bagger as a grocery store I interact with hundreds of people daily. In an ENTIRE 7 hour shift I only had 2 customers say sir and ma'am respectively.

it's honestly crazy to go from constant "thank you sir"s to literally only 2. And it's always 50/50 which one they say 😭. It's not that they don't respect me either, they're all really respectful! they just like aren't confident enough in their guess to give a solid answer

my favorite person ever is when I helped an old guy put a package of water into his car and he said "oh thank you "sir-uh-ma'a-....they-uh....Quinn?" while I just stood there like🧍‍♀️

Isn't it snails where 'male' and 'female' is decided by who wins the slow-motion penis-knife fight?

no, that's my bedroom
- I did not know rats were... aficionados of the struggle-snuggle.
I think that's flatworms iirc

I'm a cis white male with hair long enough to ponytail. Playing with my daughter at the park, a little one asked me if I was her mom or dad. When I told her that I was her father, she asked me why I had a ponytail. Without missing a beat I responded with "because my hair is long." Little girl thought for a moment, put on a "yeah, that makes sense" look, and went about to go play.

They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes. I bought them.
~Suzy Eddie Izzard
- That's an adorable answer
Sibling and I were visiting my mum. Neighbour kids were playing outside when we arrived. They loudly asked 'why does the boy have long hair and the girl short hair?' Mum said 'Because they each like their hair that way!' and the kids were also like 'yeah that makes sense'. Kids love learning new stuff, it comes easily to most of them to learn that humans can differ.
- Cool thing about kids is that they're not prejudiced before they learn something new. Not so cool thing is that parents often pass prejudice onto their kids.
The next question I’d expect from a little kid would be “why is your hair long?”.
And another why, and another, and another…
- A good way to break the unending question sequence is to ask them what they think about whatever they asked.
  "Why is your hair long?" "Well, why do you think someone might have long hair?"
- As a dude with hair past my shoulders, the answer is that it looks fly AF

Huh, TIL

https://www.kqed.org/science/1446777/everything-you-never-wanted-to-know-about-snail-sex

When snails copulate, two penises enter two vaginal tracts. Both snails in a pairing transfer sperm, but whichever snail got in the best shot with the dart has a better chance of ultimately fertilizing eggs.

First they stab eachother. The better the stab, the more effective the stabber's sperm will be. Then they exchange fluids. Then they settle down, buy a minivan, and waste away in an office until they die.

They're snails, they are the minivans.
- It's 2025. Even snails are renting their homes these days.
- for tons of parasites.
its like flatworms, they do the same. i think earthworms and relatives are more mutual, they fertilize each other at the same time without fighting.
- If you fertilize mine I'll fertilize yours, baby.
When snails copulate, two penises enter two vaginal tracts.
That reminds me of this sweet old love song by an old cowboy band.
Outro]
\ Criticize what you wreck
\ We're fucking you back
\ Fucking you back

My niece saw my earrings and asked “if you’re a boy why do you have earrings?” (They are from a very conservative upbringing).

I simply asked, “Well do you like them?” and of course she said “Yeah!”

“That’s why, because they’re awesome.”

My friend said they were being drilled by some guy for over an hour who needed to know, male or female. My friend is genderfluid, and they had a great time making that guy look like an idiot. He even threatened to inform the authorities. I hope they do, because anyone who reads that conversation will realize how stupid that guy looked.

If I was going to drill someone for an hour, I'd probably want to know who I'm drilling too ;)
- most people ask before, or don't really care when the drilling is already happening for an hour

Kids fucking get it

Until it is abused out of them, on Sundays, at a special building.
- I went to church and sunday school for years and they never mentioned homosexuality. Or sexuality really.
- No way - shame begins at home:-D.
I don't know where the adorably precocious children in this screenshot are purported to come from. Every kid I've ever met who questions me about my gender has been an argumentative little shit that wants to make a point out of not believing me.
- I only interact with kids who don't have shitty parents