What age gap is too big of an age gap if someone's in their early 30's?
Obviously I'm talking about two adults, I'm just wondering when it goes from okay to "a bit iffy", either older or younger
Every kid in my high school knew the "half your age plus 7" rule for bounding age gaps:
Age of younger person in the relationship = (Age of older person in the relationship / 2) + 7
So if you are 30 then you can date from 22 to 46. Science!
Though, really, beyond your mid-20s I think you can date as old as you like. As long as everyone is consenting, open, and honest, then have fun.
I've always heard the "half your age plus seven" rule (mostly somewhat jokingly) for the appropriate minimum age of your partner. But I read somewhere that it's origin is from some 18th century manual for finding a wife, wherein it indicated the MAX age of an appropriate wife...
Half your age +7 years. 30yo can date 22yo.
If they are both consenting adults and personalities don't cause a toxic environment what does it matter.
I know a relationship therapist with a list. Everyone needs to be:
Check the boxes and have fun.
I think life situation is probably more important than strictly age. If you're an independent 30 year old working a full time job you probably don't want to date a college student that lives with their parents.
I'm a so long as both are older than 18 it's fine kinda person.
Half the older age plus 7.
That's subjective. Two adults can do whatever they want. The rest is just other people's opinions and those opinions can also be “a bit iffy”. The more you listen to other people's arbitrary morals, the iffier things get and you soon realize you should just have followed your own intuition to begin with.
I'm 40 now and can't imagine dating someone younger than 30. People change so much between 20-30 that the person you start with may not be the person you end with. People should never quit growing and learning. But I want to know that the person has enough life experience and stability to be a reliable partner. That being said, I also hold older women at an arms length because in my experience they tend to want more control. I don't want control or to be controlled. I want an equal partnership with respect and love. I understand that that changes depending on the person but IN GENERAL I would go -7 or +5. There are exceptions to that based on maturity, intellect, vibe, etc.
My sister's ex is my mom's age (25 year age gap). They dated when she was in her late 20s. Honestly they had a great relationship and, while he was a bit "immature" for his age (financially), he was a really awesome dude and they had lots in common. The main reason it didn't work out was because she wanted kids, and having kids with a man in his early 50s, who aleady had like a 20 year old kid, is difficult.
I think that's what often causes issues in big age gap relationships, they're often at different points of family/career development.
The flip side of this is that I met my uncle's (61) girlfriend, who is, I believe, 25 or 26 and I did get the ick because she's younger than two of his older children and has braces that make her look a lot younger than that. Most people thought she was a friend of his youngest kids (who are 19). She's nice though I guess. And my uncle needs therapy, but that's not necessarily related to this.
while he was a bit "immature" for his age (financially)
Ok this is now my favorite euphemism I've seen
Depends on where everyone is in their life. An undergrad shouldn't be dating someone graduated and in a stable working condition. Once your past a certain age, it becomes fairly useless as a question of appropriateness- with things like life experience, goals and present conditions being more important.
even then; it's about maintaining a healthy balance of power in the relationship. if it's a one night stand and everyone involved are consenting adults; that's none of our business.
I am 16 years younger than my other half.
Age is a number and people mature at different rates based on their life experiences and intelligence. I survived mental, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. I am also considered high intelligence... in elementary school I was ranked in the top 10 percentile of my age group based on standardized testing. In middle school all of my testing showed me at a minimal of college levels with some areas in graduate school. I had no friends and have literally had the crap beat out of me for no reason than I existed. I have also buried a child and a wife. I am more comfortable with an older woman because those my own age and younger are generally more self absorbed.
Stick to someone of the age of majority who makes you happy and isn't abusive. The rest is your business and nobody else's.
I don't think is that much the age (above 18 please) than the knowledge that you are not taking advantage of that person (or knowing that that person is not taking advantage of you though this is harder to notice).
If there's a huge age gap you will get looks. But the looks of others are not that important as long as you know that what you are doing is right.
Are you taking advantage of the other person because of their age? If yes then don't do it. If no, please continue.
Someone in their thirties shouldn't be dating an undergrad or retiree. Anything in between is probably fine.
If they are looking to date younger, I'd say that 25 would probably be the realistic minimum, as that is the age by which the brain is fully developed. If a thirty year old is looking to date older, I don't really see any real limit. Their brain is fully developed, and they've been an adult long enough that they can evaluate the pros and cons of the older person.
Iirc, it's not that the brain finishes development at 25, but that the study this point comes from stopped following its subjects at age 25. A broader look at neuro-development seems to suggest that the brain never stops 'maturing'. It's not always improving tbc, but there also isn't some definitive line that makes someone cerebraly adult.
Not sure what that means in regards to this thread, but I do feel it's worth pointing out.
Once you're 30, as long as the other person is in your general age group or older, and the relationship works for both of you, your specific ages don't matter.
If you have common interests and enjoy time together then there is no problem.
If you find yourself avoiding your partner and nothing in common, it light be a issue that you have to work hard on fixing.
My wife and I are almost 10 years apart. We met right before her 30th birthday, I was also once the younger partner when I was 20 and my then-gf was 34. That failed for a number of reasons, but I don't think age was one of them. With legal, consenting adults, whatever works for you is fine, I think.
Over 30? Any age up. Down? 8 years difference
Just had this conversation oddly enough. I’m of the mindset that consenting adults can do as they please BUT power dynamics I feel are far more important than age. If your power dynamics is unbalanced, you can be the same age and have it all go wrong if they’re your manager for instance, but if you’re 18 and your 40-year-old coworker who works in the same dept wants to jump your bones, I say no harm, no foul.
Have your own list of cultural references, of they know them well, you'll be ok.
6?
I think that's too young to be dating at all
22-46 is acceptable.
I can't imagine a 22yo with 30yo.
You are going through such different stages in your lives.
One is most likely still in school, the other may be trying to run their own busuiness, or strive for children. There may be common grounds, but at 22 I would not suggest settling down.
Honestly, I've met so many people at either age or older who were at either stage in their life. A 22 yo can be done with their training and fully working, even having their own business while a 30 yo is still trying to find themselves.