What ever floats your goat.
2 0 ReplyYou can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butchers ass, but I'd rather take the bulls word for it.
7 0 ReplyWhat the fuck is this from? I know this quote; the unflipped one
3 0 Reply
From the TV show Angel.
Harmony, vampire ex-cheerleader
"You're preaching to the horse's mouth!"
5 0 ReplyIt’s like finding a needle in a camel’s back
12 0 ReplyWhich is to say: a whole hell of a lot easier than a camel going through the eye of a needle, to quote JC.
5 0 Reply
Does the pope shit in the woods?
2 0 ReplyNo, but I certainly do
3 0 Reply"#makepoopwhilethesunshines"
1 0 Reply
Ricky-isms. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3dYMQgopIY
3 0 Replyi like to say "das leben ist kein ponyschlecken" and "das leben ist kein zuckerhof".
5 0 ReplyYou would say that.
3 0 Reply
7 0 ReplyNot the brightest knife in the tool room.
4 0 Reply1 0 ReplyYou can give a man a drink and his thirst will be quenched for a day, but if you show a man to the water source, he will be quenched for the rest of his life.
1 0 ReplyDaffy Duck one said, "You buttered you're bread, now sleep in it." And 10 year old me couldn't stop laughing.
25 0 ReplyThis looks like ai slop
1 0 ReplyThat's a really tough nut to swallow
60 0 ReplyLmao
You won.
1 0 Reply
I've made my omelette, now I've got to sleep in it. If you lead a horse to water, you can make it fish.
12 0 ReplyI'd rather "if you lead a horse to water, teach it to fish"
2 0 ReplyWe could workshop it, but if you're bad at something, never do it for free
1 0 Reply
The fish one is making me laugh
5 0 ReplyGlad to hear it. You know what they say, you miss 100% of the shots you take
3 0 Reply
Those who dig others a grave shouldn't throw rocks.
12 0 ReplyI used to say "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it." all the time! People didn't like it though.
16 0 ReplyI like one from a They Might Be Giants song, you made my day, now you have to sleep in it.
1 0 Reply11 0 ReplyWONT SOMEBODY PLEASE, COME OVERE HERE AND...
3 0 ReplyFuck
4 0 Reply
You're barking up the wrong metaphor
8 0 Replyone of my favourites is "the sharpest bulb in the box"
8 0 Replyi'n not the brightest bulb in the shed, but i sure am the sharpest!
20 0 ReplyI had a boss who said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck his ass to make him drink."
I... I just... Can't.16 0 ReplyThis makes me so happy, thanks for teaching me a word
21 0 ReplyMalaphors? I call these Rickyisms.
13 0 ReplyRickyisms are modern day malapropisms, named for Mrs Malaprop from the 1775 play The Rivals by Sheridan, rather than malaphors.
The difference being a malaphor is a mixed up idiom like the examples in the post and a malapropism is substituting a word in a common saying or idiom for a similar sounding one. For example, "finding an escape goat" or "I resemble that remark".
10 0 Reply"Why don't you make like tree and fuck off, Lahey!" -Ricky
(I know the difference, I was just attempting to be silly with it all.)
2 0 Reply
It's all water under the fridge.
16 0 ReplyExactly. Making these things up ain't rocket appliances.
7 0 Reply
8 0 ReplyA toad a sow.
3 0 Reply
Worse case Ontario I get to tell you I toad a so, I fuckin a toad a so.
7 0 Reply
For those of you speaking German: Hast du enen Scherzkeks gefrühstückt?
6 0 ReplyShe looks like she's been through the run of the mill
6 0 ReplyYou can't have your cake.
4 0 ReplyMe when I say I'll meet new people: we'll burn that bridge when we get to it.
3 0 ReplyIt's raining cobras and mongooses.
1 0 Reply