You don't need an excuse. If you're at a party and no longer want to be there, say "I have to go now, thanks for the great party" to the host and leave
No one cares why you're leaving. I'm probably well on the neurotypical end of the spectrum and I'm usually there first in my friend group to leave a party just because parties are late and I wake early. No one complains unless I'm their lift home and they don't want to leave yet
- "I have to go now, thanks for the great party"
- "Noo c'mooon whyyyy?"
Aaand now I'm stuck between being incredibly blunt, which I don't like at all, or making up an excuse on the spot (which I suck at)
Better to just make up the excuse beforehand.
In the past, in parties I just left and didn't give a fuck . Period. And if anyone asked me later I said I had a great time but at one point it was enough fun.
I used to do what we called backdooring it as in you just leave without telling anybody. That way you don’t have to deal with all the drunk people saying “come on just stay a bit longer” etc.
I still do something similar. Grab my stuff, get ready to go and when I am at the door, I give a "Goodbye everybody" and leave right away.
No time for arguing, just letting people know that I am leaving alive.
In my circle we call this an Irish Goodbye, and it is celebrated.
It’s insane to me that someone who has trouble socializing would force themselves to go to parties. Maybe it’s something I’m too autistic to understand. Disabilities are suppose to get you out of doing shit. For example I use my epilepsy to never step foot in a club cuz lights. I’m not even photosensitive 😂
The thing is, it can be really hard to accurately assess why you feel an aversion to things, and whether or not that aversion is misplaced. I can come up with scads of seemingly reasonable objections to, for example, going to the gym. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't benefit from it.
Overcoming an innate aversion that you've convinced yourself is a part of who you are can be life-changing.
For the longest time I would try to push myself out of my comfort zone. I thought eventually my feelings about doing "normal people stuff" would change. They did not.
I felt this in my soul. Never seen anyone else express this so thanks for helping me feel less alone in that department
"Parties" is barely a category, everyone has a different idea of what one should be. There's A LOT of variation. To some people it's sitting around a table playing board games, to others it's about getting drunk and hooking up, and anywhere in between.
Personally I'm AuDHD and I can stans certain types of parties and not others. I actually kinda hate playing board games and prefer going out as long as there's music. Lots of bodies present isn't a problem for me, it's actually the opposite. The worst type of party is one where I'm expected to socialize as the main event.
At work we all sing happy birthday, I hate it when it's my turn
Because sometimes I can have a lot of fun if I'm feeling up to it. It just depends on my mood or whatever at the time, I can't really predict or explain it.
Just tell people you don't like dancing, or karaoke, or whatever enough times and eventually they internalize it. I spent years cultivating a reputation with my friends and now I can just vanish for an hour at any party and nobody bats an eye. Need my "me time". New people sometimes think I'm cold or don't like them but they either learn and that's cool or I don't see them again and it doesn't matter.
As someone who has developed extreme smell sensitivity due to a disorder, not wanting to be around other people because of the way they smell is something I totally get.
People really do not know what they smell like. And a lot of people do not smell good. Not just because of some lack of bathing either, maybe some other choice, like they really love spicy food and you can smell it on them or they're wearing what they think is an attractive perfume and is definitely not.
Honestly, leave off the overwhelmed and they'll all question whether they shouldn't leave the party too!
Tf is meant by "alphabetise something"???
Like organize (alphabetically, but that's not necessary since this is really just a metaphor) something kinda pointless but satisfying like a bookshelf of books or recipes or my assorted drawers of labelled usb cables lol
Thanks 👍
assorted drawers of labelled usb cables
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