A recipe for chaos.

Wait till ya hear about irl waiting rooms

God, can you imagine if we had to go to some sort of DMV-like building to wait in person for Comcast customer support?
People would starve.
- They actually have those. Some are more like stores but a while back (maybe 8+years ago) it looked like a DMV if you needed to swap your hardware out. Long lines and terrible customer service
- Have you not been to one of these? I've had to go twice. It was awful.
- The building would burn down.

Just give me the option to mute the damn hold music so I can do other stuff while waiting for someone to answer.

Or at least put music we can dance to.
No. All must suffer!
Google Pixel. Comes built in.
I use my PC gaming headset that also has bluetooth can easily do stuff while on hold.

If they're anything like the customers I deal with then they'll all be ready to murder each other after about 5 to 10 minutes

Hey, it means that I get bumped up in the queue...
Not sure if you work for a shitty company or just have shitty customers. Maybe both?
- It's definitely a little of both lol
- It’s always the customers fault…
- I smell retail on him. The stench is still strong on me after all.
I'm all ready ready to kill a motherfucker just thinking about this.
But maybe we could calm each other down?
Maybe customers wouldn’t be in such a murderous rage if it wasn’t so fucking hard even getting through the interactive voice repsonse?

"Has everyone else here just tried turning it off and turning it back on again?"

I kinda wished there was something like this the other day when my internet stopped working for no reason. "Did your internet stop working around 10 minutes ago too?"

ISPs usually have an outage map on their website. Of course that doesn't do you any good if you don't have Internet access. I just check on my phone.
- Yeah I checked on my phone, it didn't say anything about a major outage. Maybe it was just me, who knows?

I've been in an online game lobby before, and it's not something I enjoy.

You have to solve the person before you’s problem before the next guy solves yours.

[countless smoke alarms across the globe scream in concert as every introvert melts their phones in unison]

Smoke detectors are so friggen annoying, they have horrible UX.
When the battery starts getting low they always chirp/beep starting in the middle of the night because that’s when it tends to be coldest which makes the battery slightly worse, so you get a horrible sleep and hit the snooze button because fuck finding the right battery at 3am.
Or you take the battery out and it fucking screams at you and continues chirping because it’s missing a battery and maybe you’ll forget and die on a fire while it’s powered down. But it’s 3 am, where the fuck do you find a store selling batteries that’s open?
The new ones are wired in, but they still drain the battery anyways, so they’re even more annoying to replace and still have all the same annoyances.
They say “test weekly” on the detector, so you go to do your test. It waits for you to press the button and then at full fucking volume beeps right at you. Sure, you know it’s loud enough for a fire, but it’s so fucking loud it physically hurts and scares the shit out of my pets.
Why haven’t these things gotten any better?
- UL 217 and 268 standards. They have gotten better but there are certain things where the balance of safety, cost and convenience heavily favors the first followed by the second and then the third.
  Interestingly (for a certain narrow definition of "interesting"), the standards have been updated in recent years to reflect the impact of convenience on safety. Cooking can produce smoke that reaches the threshold needed to trigger the alarm without being an indication that there's an imminent danger to the structure and residents. When cooking sets off alarms, people may be tempted to disable those alarms while cooking. Some get re-connected afterward, some don't. The result is that because the alarm is effective (annoying), a significant number of homes have fewer active warning devices than intended.
  Some nerds conned a lab into letting them light stuff on fire for money without all the legal trouble a casual arsonist might have to worry about. A side benefit of this arrangement is they've collected a ton of data on smoke and fire development with a wide variety of fuels over time. In order to cut down on the likelihood of those annoyance disconnections, devices built to the newest standard should be less sensitive to the type of smoke that results from normal cooking.
  Doesn't fix the midnight chirp you're talking about but the people writing the requirements have noticed that human nature is still a factor.
- You don't take them off the wall and hold your hand over the speaker when you test them?
- it fucking screams at you and continues chirping because it’s missing a battery
  I have never seen a fire alarm with a backup battery. Buy a different one maybe?

Make it so that it connects you to 1v1s in cod4 on shipment. Winner moves ahead one place in the queue.

This would uncover a lot of corruption I think.

New battle royale just dropped

Phone call battle royal

May the person of patients win

On the one hand, the thought makes me laugh. On the other hand, no, please let's not do this.

This is a copied tweet. The original was posted by John Mayer in 2017: https://twitter.com/JohnMayer/status/915665811892609024

COD chat for boomers

What is this, a gaming lobby for boomers?

Like in overwatch where you can do a skirmish or deathmatch whilst you queue for a match.

Currently on hold at 1:05:47. Browsing lemmy is keeping me sane.

Have you ever gotten through? My guess is that they’ve just dumped you in order to not spoil their statistics. (A call that never gets connected doesn’t exceed the response time limit).
- I got in about 20 minutes after that. When I started the call they said it was busy, and the expected wait time was 15 minutes lol.

Just warn us before we get transferred so we can say goodbye

YES, PLEASE DO THIS

I don't even want to talk to customer service (but will if I have to), I'm definitely not talking to anyone else stuck in the same situation

I would actually fucking love this

It's gonna be violent

That’ll be 95 cents a minute, 45 cents for each additional minute.

A video containing a similar joke from the 70s https://youtu.be/wIXL8tpKm6g

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

Employee Tears, @EmployeeTears

They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another.

You just described Reddit:-), at least, before the protest drove many of those technical-minded people away.

Is that what they call the party line?