Punch Time

I will break all the lightbulbs in your home with my hand

This is a way better threat than "Im gonna punch your lights out"

The "I hope you're thirsty" one is classy imo.
- The art of diplomacy is making em love you while you knock their punch out.
All you base are belong to me
Much more impressive too!
Oh no don’t slightly inconvenience me. Darn you cut your hands & wrists bad enough to go to the ER? Whatever shall I do

Clarification vs adaptation makes a huge difference in book translations. I don't envy the translators having to translate witty jokes/references that really only work in the original language

The interesting thing about clarifying and localising is that you're always consciously making a trade-off between multiple competing factors - the original direct meaning, the emotion, tone and intent, and the ease of consumption in the target context.
And so how you choose to translate depends not only on the text, but the circumstance, the speaker, and who you are translating for.
If in a manga for example a character says (in Japanese) "the child of a frog is a frog," you could make the choice to localise that with an equivalent English idiom, as "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," or you could perhaps instead take the speaking character's personality into stronger account and preserve their meaning, such as "He's a piece of shit, just like his old man."
But it all depends on context. If that idiom showed up in a piece of poetry you might decide to leave it exactly as "the child of a frog is a frog." - Perhaps there is related symbolism to preserve, and the 'frog' metaphor is important. But in that situation you can do it, because the reader will have more time and desire to study it, and preserving the original words may be more important than making it easy on the reader.
Translation is as much of an art as writing is.
- Translation is as much of an art as writing is.
  Business Idiots: let’s destroy translation jobs with LLMs while preserving none of the skill or context needed! 🤑
- I read a lot of fan translated content and I always appreciate the translation of "the child of a frog is a frog" (translator note: idiom similar to "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree")
  I find you get to learn an approximate translation of an idiom and get the intent of the phrase at the same time.
Free Hat!

One of my favourite instances of adaptation got to be Ted Woolsey's "son of a submariner! They’ll pay for this...", for the English localisation of Final Fantasy III / VI.

In the game, Kefka (the villain) is saying this as the heroes escape him, but the original only says "ヒーーー　くっそー！このかりは必ず返しますよ!"; literally "heeee shit! I will definitively return this debt" or similar. However:

That "ヒーーー" interjection has no meaning on its own. It's only there to highlight the character's emotional state. It could be safely removed, without loss of meaning.
くそ / 糞 kuso "crap! shit!" is vulgar, but by no means as vulgar as English "shit". Specially given the 90s, and this game being marketed to kids. But it means the villain is being rude towards the heroes (makes sense, right).

So, translating it as simply "hey you!" or similar would mutilate the original, by removing the rudeness. But at the same time, Woolsey couldn't use "shit" or "crap" or similar. So he looked at the context:

Kefka is crazy, and the way he uses Japanese in the original is odd. For example, he uses the pronoun "ぼくちん" bokuchin to refer to himself, as if he was a kid - and yet he's a court mage of an empire dammit. (It's a bit deeper than that, but let's focus.)
a bit before Kefka says this, there's a city in the desert also fleeing Kefka - by going underground instead, as if it was some sort of "sand submarine".

So Woolsey went with "son of a submariner!", something he likely made up on the spot. And you know what? It's perfect - it's completely on-character for Kefka to insult people in such a weird way.

Meanwhile, Final Fantasy Tactics with the translation-so-bad-it’s-might-be-a-masterpiece.
Actually interesting and novel ability names
Japanese: Dance with knives
1997 Localization: Wiznaibus
WotL Localization: Mincing Minuet
Dialog that pulls no punches
Japanese: My bad, but it's between you and your god
1997 Localization: Tough luck...Don't blame me. Blame yourself or God.
WoTL Localization: Forgive me. 'Tis your birth and faith that wrong you, not I.
Other gems lost in the improved localization:
“heavens wish to destroy all minds”
“the doom of a planet”
“evanescence, such a sad word”
“time, save your kindness for the worthy”
All that being said, the final fantasy gang is generally spectacular with English mastery. It’s like you can tell which books they like to read when they choose obscure words like Eidolon.
- Today I found out that Eidolon isn't just the name of a Warhammer 30k character.

O.G. San is such a good name.

This is exactly why lazily throwing your game’s text into a machine translation tool is not the same as hiring an actual localisation specialist.

I watch everything with subtitles on and it’s clear when someone used a machine vs an actual person.
Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth did a good job with localization. I remember one character speaking with a thick Southern US accent, and at one point mentioning that she was from Kansai. I didn't previously know that Kansai was rural, but I was able to get that from the context.
I'll take the machine translation if nothing else is available, but it pales in comparison to a real person doing it. You have to translate the machine translation in your head in realtime.
- At least the english ones are usually somewhat understandable; as a native finnish speaker, the machine translations to finnish are notoriously bad. The worst case has been some random anime from netflix, where I had to change the subtitles to bad machine translation english, because the finnish ones were just straight up complete gibberish and I could understand more of the japanese than those (and I don't know japanese outside some words and common expressions!). Reading them felt like I was having a stroke lmao.
  I have no idea why they're even made in finnish because they're very often just fully unusable.

A certain subset of anime fans would be very angry right now if they could read!

I do a *literal translation where I want to preserve the original context of words. Otherwise I generally just go for stage 3 to get the gist of what a writer or speaker means, and usually it's a combination of the two, I don't try to use different idioms.

So "I'll punch your lights out" might likely become "I'll beat you so that the lights in your eyes go out" if I were to translate to Japanese (*translated back).

It's a neat way to show how each person translating has their own style. (And how Japanese news and diplomatic translators have had a rough time with Trump, forced to sanewash a lot).

Transliteration is another thing entirely: it's translating the sounds. "I'll beat you so that the lights in your eyes go out" translated to Japanese is "君の目の光が消えるまで殴ってやる". Transliterated back, it's "Kimi no me no hikari ga kieru made nagutte yaru".
- It's a bit more complicated: if you're dealing with the sounds it's transcription, if you're converting from writing system into another it's transliteration.
  So for example, what you did is transliteration. But if you were to record some Japanese guy speaking and wrote it down (in kanji+kana, Latin, or even IPA), or if you handled how it's actually spoken, it would be transcription.
- Oh yeah you are right... let me edit it

“How ‘bout a nice Hawaiian Punch?”

“Sure!”

assault

assault
Actually, I think it’s made with a sugar
HEY KOOL AID! HERE!
I got so confused, I thought this was trying to show how bad llm's translated things

One of my favorite bad translations ever has to be Jubei of Samurai Shodown II's win quote: "All creature will die and all the things will be broken. That's the law of samurai." I sometimes like to think of any kind of massive destruction as "all the things will be broken."

I pray that if I ever get into a fist fight I remember to say “I hope you’re thirsty because I brought punch” before swinging

"That will go well with my crackers and cheese because here's a block!"

My initial impression from the thumbnail was that this was Ellen DeGeneres being quoted.

But AI can do that! - my first attempt at rage bait.

I mean, honestly? Yeah. This isn't how you should translate if you wish to adhere to the original material. You need to understand meaning and context in both languages. AI doesn't grasp that on account of not grasping anything at all, and the game of telephone that the image is suggesting is completely obliterating it as well.
Example; Lipton, in an ice tea advert had an actress dance and sing, and in the middle of it, took a sip of tea and said 「美味ちい」
If you were to translate that directly, she sips the tea and says "Tasty!" or "Yummy!" which is acceptable. However, you've lost the double entendre of how チー (ちい) sounds like the English word tea, which is kind of relevant given what they're advertising and so you'd lose the opportunity to make the same pun in English; "Tealicious!"
Now apply it on a larger scale and suddenly characters and stories end up diverging between the versions. Sure the overall picture might be similar but the nuance can be vastly different. I saw it all the time in Final Fantasy XIV. Sure, not all media needs that kind of meticulousness and hell, a lot of media doesn't even care for it. People can be perfectly happy with basic, but they also don't necessarily know what they're missing.
Granted, sometimes you have to settle for that method of translation, because you can't easily or appropriately convey the original intent in another language.

This is not a "raw" translation it is a bad translation

It's a decent enough illustration of the sort of thing that can happen when you translate an idiom literally. To be truly accurate that panel would have to be in a language other than English, but then it would be useless to anyone who doesn't also understand that second language.