Anon deals with crows

They have the money but probably aren’t allowed in the stores to buy it themselves.

It’s either

1.) Facilitating the financial self-sufficiency of local avian wildlife or

2.) The bird equivalent of buying alcohol for your kid cousins who are standing outside the liquor store.

Both of which are rad

if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation where you're the sugar daddy for a murder of crows, get them some nice peanuts and sunflower seeds instead! bread isn't good for birds!

Seed me daddy! I don't want bread.
OwO
- You don't want to be bread?
  Oh well...
- Bird furries tend to use OvO instead because the v looks like a beak owo
Ehh. You're more of a fence than a sugar daddy. You move stolen loot for a cut.
- Also, one assumes you're not fucking them.
Brand new sentence
Murder-daddy

I kinda wish all the stray/feral cats I've befriended would start coughing up some cash once in awhile instead of dead mice and hairballs for me.

You lack gratitude.
- And money!
- the cats lack humanity

The photo is of a raven, not a crow. That said, exchanges of this sort with corvids has always been a bucket list item of mine.

What is the difference between a raven and a crow? One major difference is that ravens have 3 pinion feathers on each wing, whereas crows only have two.
So its really just a difference of a pinion
- Goddamnit. Sitting here ready to subscribe to crow facts and you got me with a freakin pinion joke.
  Well done.
- Apparently, ravens are so huge that if you see one you will not be in doubt that it can't be a crow. At least that's what I've been told.
Here's the thing...
Don't let your dreams be dreams, future bro to birds
Same!! 🥺 I have a bunch that live by me, but they have a far enough range so I don’t see them every day and can’t seem to get their attention. Any corvid experts here that can give me some tips?
- Dammit I gotta figure out tags because I want to tag you "Cawlin"

$20 for bread crumbs?! These crows must be living in the USA.

😂 the allegory

Bread should not be fed to birds.

Sauce: https://www.birdsandblooms.com/birding/attracting-birds/feeding-birds/can-birds-eat-bread/

What about Ezekiel bread? (Made from legumes, not grains)
- Yesh. Ezekiel bread is okay. Good catch.

Murder for hire

My favorite emo band

Anón when an old lady shows up to feed the crows:

It's bold of Anon to assume that the crows are not earning the money legitimately.

That's racist.

I've been feeding roasted (and unsalted) peanuts to my local crows for three years now. Those ungrateful bastards haven't given me shit in return. One time I thought they had given me some little seeds and berries, but I realized they had just puked those up to make room for the peanuts.

Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
I knew a guy years ago who managed to start trading with the crows in our neighborhood by having a table with two sections, one with bird snackies, the other empty (I think he may have put some foil there at one point?) so they'd have a place to put their payment.
The always got little plastic things, bits of mylar, twistie ties and what not.
- Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
  Lol I get enough abuse from my neighbors for feeding the crows as it is. If I put out a crow table they're going to sic ICE on me.
ungrateful bastards
You know maybe if you have them better nuts than peanut they'd be more appreciative. Also cold hard cash.
- What kind of nuts should I give them? Deez?
Are legumes okay for crows? I know they are omnivores (really interesting to see their bigger cousins, the ravens, pick off ducklings). Especially peanuts that become kinda weird when you chew them. Crows have gizzards, right?
- I'm no crow expert. I know they eat peanuts and I know they eat roadkill squirrel. That's the end of my knowledge.

Florida man arrested after training crows to steal the declaration of independence for him.

OP is a modern Fagin

you can't just call people by that slur

Buy them some unsalted peanuts or walnuts. They will worship you as the god you are.

They also like boiled eggs... ...source - our local crows at the park

That's just one distribution method of the mint. They find dollars go through more hands on average if they are given to crows by this man's lake. He should not feel guilty for stimulating my economy.

a lot of people have trained crows to steal money for them… it’s very illegal….
probably not getting cash from restaurant tables.:.
people have also trained ferrets to steal jewelry and used them as burglars….

brb, checking local laws on "training animals to do crime"
- this is why ferrets are illegal in California
I want to train a common animal to pick locks. Any recommendations?
- yes, get a transparent lock and picks from any large online retailer….
  they’re cheap, easy, fun, and drastically increases your chances of survival in a zombie apocalypse
- Raccoons have opposable thumbs and thief masks, definitely S tier lockpicker race
- A black bear in the Adirondacks (her name was Yellow-Yellow) learned and is believed to have taught her cubs how to open BearVault canisters. she was shot in 2012 but Adirondack bears continue chewing through canisters...
For some reason i read 'cows' instead of 'crows'