Guys where did I put my wallet

Hey, JFP, the internet wants to know if you found your wallet? And if yes, where was it?

I have not, and I'm actually considering the possibility that I'll have to replace it
- Oh no!!! I hope it turns up tonight, from under the couch or something.
  Oh, hey, easy way to check under/behind furniture, if you're un-agile like me: turn recording on on your phone, then bend over and pan your phone past the area you want to check, then watch the video.

According to QI, if you look around and constantly say "wallet" out loud, your chances of not overlooking it increase. Can also help with recalling where you last remember seeing/interacting with it.

bro your literally posting this from your wallet. smh my head dude

My son once took all the cards our of my wallet and put them in the printer/scanner that we never use. I only found out 2 years later when I finally went to print something and there was a jam, opened the scanner lid to get inside and boom.

Could be there.

I once saw a duck steal a wallet out of a woman's bag and waddle off with it.

The same could have happened to YOU.

Should've had grapes

Have you tried calling it

Fr tho, I love these Airtags and Samsung tags they made, maybe bad for privacy and its kinda shitty they force you to use their ecosystem, but it's great if your pets are mischievous and wants to hide and/or escape, and you don't want to oay a monthly fee or change the battery every week. (Don't get the Google Tags, those are unusable)
I hate iOS, so Samsung is the only other devil there is in town if I want to track my items (and my cat). (I know they are the devil but their shit works, so... 🤷‍♂️)

Check your car between the seat and the door, or the seat and center console. This happened to me once, then a couple years later to a neighbor, so I was able to help him find his.

Have you checked the last place you look yet?

Pro tip: Check here first to save a whole lot of looking.
I like to keep searching for something after I found it so that this statement isn't true. My wallet was actually at the third to last place I looked.

Did you leave it under the hood of a car you were working on?

Have you looked in the hood of a Ford Fusion in Minnesota?

Are you walking funny .... ?

Prison wallet gang!
- 😄

clearly it must be in the dishwasher

Help step bro I'm stuck

gnomes are holding it ransom until you right the wrong you committed against them

Mine once fell out of my pants while I was sitting at my office chair. It ended up perched on the bar that connects the seat back the seat bottom. There is a 3 inch gap between the back and the bottom otherwise. It took me a week to find it, and right before i was about to cancel everything. I only found it because i bumped the chair and it jiggled free.

Somewhere special that you've never put it before, so you wouldn't forget where it was

You ate it out of hunger and forgot about it. Happens to the best of us.

Wait, are you Wally? Of the Cincinnati Staplers? Here, take my wallet!

Drawer No. 42.

You left it where you put it so you can easily get it when you need it.

If you find it, can you also check for the remote control of my fan?
- It's right beside your wallet.
The wallet knows where it is, because it knows where it isn't.
- This guy wallets.

Have you tried utilizing A* algorithm as a basis for your search pattern yet?

Check your laundry. And places where you might set things down when moving laundry around.

Try the couch cushions

JD Vance: “It’s not there. I was poking around and didn’t find it.”
- Whelp, time to burn that couch.

Slid between the bed and the wall.

We're on lemmy, we're all commie, so we don't have neither wallets nor money, and collectively re-appropriate what she capitalists stole us when needing something.

It's part of term of use, you had to throw your wallet away before joining

I've found my wallet is often where I first looked, just covered in other junk so I didn't see it. Also, if you drive, check the crack between the seat and the door. Hope that helps!

Have you looked in Nature's Pocket?

check the fridge

I legit think I tossed my wallet in the dumpster one time while scrambling to get ready for a backpacking trip. I never ended up finding it, and we lived in a fairly small apartment so I think it indeed ended up in the landfill. Anyways, good luck!

By the shitter?

We are now supposed to call it "X" sir

Did you leave it in your other pants/purse/jacket?

Did you check your pockets?

Wait, that was yours? Oops...say if you see a transaction record from Gritty Down Under just forget it

Did you happen to leave it under the hood of a car you worked on earlier?

First things first. You need some food to sustain you while you search for the wallet. Do you have a leather belt or some shoes or anything like that you can boil and eat? It's only a temporary fix, but trust me, you'll have a much clearer head after you get some tanned animal hide into your system. Next priority: finding that wallet. What you need to do is go to the last place you had it and then retrieve it from there. Most people never realize that one very simple and effective trick, instead spending far too much time searching places where they had their wallet slightly-to-somewhat before it was lost.

Finally, always remember to troubleshoot and isolate the root of the issue. If you need your credit card, and you reach for your wallet only to find your wallet is missing, you have two separate problems. Your wallet can be found by following the steps I shared earlier, but you credit card might be in an entirely different place and it's the credit card that you needed right now. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Is it in a car?
\ Is it in a bar?
\ Is it in a bag?
\ I'm sorry you've hit a snag.

Did you leave it in your car?

If you're not at home, did you leave it at home this morning? If you're at home, have you checked the laundry pile?

Elsweyr, have you checked? Might be there, might not.

This happens to me two or three times a week. Check your other hand.

The troll under the bridge took it.

U Mad Bro?

it fell out of your pocket when you sat down