You can summon a baguette out of thin air but it is always slightly stale. How do you use this ability for personal gain?

I become ruler of every duck I come across.

I don’t use it for personal gain.

I give away infinite free bread, and get arrested and jailed forever.

Killing a two-headed squirrel near Mt Rainier.

Enter a homeless shelter each morning. Do my thing. Walk out a richer man than I was when I walked in.

Not all gain is monetary

I assassinate people by summoning baguettes in their lungs.

Figure out a way to burn it completely and cleanly. Infinite power.
But I guess it depends on how long it takes to magic out of thin air.
If I could do millions per second, I might be able to get some time off. If it was 1 per second, then not really viable.
Although would add carbon to the environment (as opposed to unlocking millennia old carbon).

So, feed those that need fed. I guess

Burn the baguettes to boil water that spins a turbine that generates electricity.

There's a French Toast restaurant near me. Maybe I could cut a deal with them, or just open a food truck.

Become a French toast master

I become king of Dad Jokes.

-Dream transition effect-

-Clears throat to someone-

What do you do after getting your groceries?

-summons baguette-

You baguette !

🥖

Being only slightly stale isn't an issue at all, especially when it comes to sustenance to stay alive. Setting personal gain aside, have people pay you to travel to Bumfuck, Africa. Make it rain infinite slightly stale baguettes. Solve their hunger, at least for a while, and build a composting facility to create mass amounts of compost out of tons of slightly stale baguettes. Feed their livestock tons of slightly stale baguettes.

Travel to Bumfuck, India. Make it rain infinite slightly stale baguettes. Solve their hunger, at least for a while, and build a composting facility to create mass amounts of compost out of tons of slightly stale baguettes. Feed their livestock tons of slightly stale baguettes.

I'm sure you could reach out to many impoverished countries of the world, say hey you pay for my travel, my food & lodging, and pay me $200K (or whatever they can afford) and I'll make slightly stale baguettes rain down from the fucking sky and they'll gladly take you up on that offer. If they're smart.

World hunger, solved. Deserts covered with multiple feet of fertile, composted bread-soil. And as others have said, French toast & other foods forever. Plus if you work it right, you could get paid to travel the world & enrich the nations with your talent.

I eat a lot of French toast.

My kids get breakfast on demand.

Feeding the homeless.

And if you park in the bike lane with your window open, you're getting a very crumby backseat.

Unlimited garlic bread, yay!

I'd make a fuckload of croutons

Croutons! I start up a crouton factory!

Search up "ratatouille modern warfare"

If the ability has some range, become the weirdest assassin ever as I summon baguettes inside folks windpipes, lungs, hearts, and/or skulls.

There are a surprising number of people who have indicated that they would use their baguette summoning powers to carry out assassinations. Here's me thinking "damn I could honestly help out in countries that are struggling, with this power" like the simpleton I am.

Ah damn. They stopped the Challenge where you get 1 Million USD if you can prove you have Paranormal Powers.

Do my thing while standing by the microwave, that magical box which turns slightly stale bread into hot steamy fresh bread again.

Slightly stale? It does sounds like i can steam it back up and then use it to do other recipe. Make Garlic bread with it is great, or cube it then bake it until crunchy, then toss it into mushroom soup as topping.

I was thinking I could open a restaurant focusing on pain perdu (basically french toast)

Open up a breading buisness. Turn the stale bread into breading and sell it at half the price of the competition.

T O A S T

.... I'd summon a few billion directly overlapping the physical space of a corrupt politician. If outdoors, in a tall column directly above, preferably several tons worth per capita.

Some choice people from this list I have would also receive a suborbital baguette infusion.

The downside is trying to deal with the stale fallout and subsequent mess the pummeled flesh and dough would leave after... Birds everywhere would go nuts.

So.. how thin does it air have to be? Does it only work on a mountain top? Are tastebuds affected by low air pressure?

omg FRENCH ONION SOUP EVERYDAY

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.

The lambs have laid down with the sheep.

You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.

Please don’t the fuck go blind by making moonshine with your daily staley.

I could probably get a job at either of my local grocery store bakery departments with that.

Oh that's easy: sell it at an outrageous price in upscale North American restaurants as authentic "pain Francais".

Can it be a 1 tonne baguette I would summon directly above someone's head?

So basically unlimited bread pudding, French toast, and of course capirotada!

Baguettes just dump out of Trumps butt whenever he makes a public appearance

I'll put some spicy chicken, turkey or other meat with some onions and garlic, hot out of the frying pan, maybe some hot sauce or gravy and some salad on the bread. Wrap with aluminium foil and leave it for a few minutes. Nice soft bread again...

I contact every James Randi-type paranormal debunker that I can find and explain my power to them. I agree to all of their terms and agree to demonstrate it to them under whatever tightly controlled absolutely perfectly sterile conditions they want.

And I do it for them, claim my prize money, and continue on with my life.

My power is to summon a baguette, not unlimited baguettes, so I gotta make that one count and I think that's my best to get the most bang for my buck.

Or if I get to decide where exactly that baguette is summoned to, perhaps I will have it spring into existence occupying the same space as [REDACTED]'s brain stem. Having them out of the picture would greatly enrich my life.

I could make a bunch of Runescape players very happy, I guess.

I would rain down bagels baguettes upon my enemies’ heads! Muhahaha.

I challenge Karl, King of Ducks, for his crown.

According to wikipedia, the atmosphere has a mass of about 5.15×10^18 kg and a baguette has a minimum mass of 8×10^-2 kg

I only need to create 6.4×10^19 baguettes

Now i have to figure out how to monetize this

I say "this is for the birds"... and I give unlimited free bread to the birds outside.

Trickle them slowly enough onto the GE so they keep their value so I can sustain my membership through bonds.

iykyk

Definitely on the 'use it to assassinate billionaires and malicious politicians' bandwagon.

One that's done, I'm spending the rest of my life traveling to feed birds at various parks, beaches, etc.

Edit - also slightly stale is perfect for making banh mi. My lunch game is about to to kick up a notch.

Have you seen the per pound price of croutons?

Slice it. Toast it. Add toppings. Endless tapas.

Ergot farming.

Could probably launch my own line of bagel chips (or bagel crisps), I'd never need to buy the main ingredient.

Stale baguettes would make great chicken feed.

Start a stuffing and bread pudding restaurant, or a fencing school. En Garde!

Make French toast. Oh wait eggs are too expensive. Never mind

I hide my katanas in them