Thanksgiving with MAGA

Conservatives unironically agree. If you're not successfully rent seeking by retirement age, you should work until you die on your feet.
- No I don't old people built the world we have now wtf

"How do you deal with the fact that Trump will die of old age soon and you basically voted for J.D. Vance instead?"

They don’t care, they like Vance too.
They would vote for Kim Jong Un if they thought it would it would upset “libruhls”.
That's literally why my several members of my family voted for Trump. They really don't like Trump (they voted for Nikki Haley in the primaries), but they really like Vance and hope he'll take over at some point.
I was blown away, because I was under the impression that Vance was fairly universally disliked. I immediately responded with some equivalent of "clearly we watch very different news."
- Wait, it's physically possible to like Vance? I was sure the dislike is on a genetic level like uncanny valley.
- I was blown away, because I was under the impression that Vance was fairly universally disliked
  Different media diets create different opinions. You're not shoveling Ben Shapiro, Tucker Carlson, and Joe Rogan down your ear holes every day. That shapes your view of the world just like Stewart and Colbert and Aaron Sorkin did for millennials.
There seems to be a pretty strong correlation between the age someones parents die and the age they're likely to die.
Trump's dad lived until 93 and his mom live until 88. He might be here for a bit.
- Just learn to shoot straight.
- They didn't have the lifestyle problems he does though. His diet, lack of exercise, and possibility of long-term damage from COVID put him at a much higher risk of dying younger.

You know what, I'm convinced.

Deport everyone with immigrant blood from America.

I think we should just deport everyone, no matter what. It'll be a nice little sanctuary after.
- Bro's trying to deport the Indians on Thanksgiving 💀
- Yellowstone+
Make America native again!
Mormons would just start deporting First Nations people.

Hair transplants and testosterone supplements are gender affirming healthcare

So is removing breast tissue from teenage boys, give boys boobs back! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynecomastia
Viagra and toupes
Yes, but the enforcement is selective so they won't be targeted.
- Isn't it weird how theres a conservative "argument" about morningafter pills, "if it's genuine rape, God has ways of stopping a pregnancy", but the same people wouldn't see anything wrong with taking Viagra despite their god-given sexual impotence.
  The hypocrisy

You know, there's technically nothing stopping them from voting for Putin as Speaker of the House.

Some mysterious falling out of windows later he could be president
- What's mysterious about a tragic suicide?
It would almost be worth it to watch him having to deal with all the MTGs he's put in congress
- Mikael Trotsky Gorbechevs?
  seriously tho what is the russian MTG equiv? I bet whatever it is, right now it's squatting on a curb smoking a filterless cig

I was thinking about explaining that trump legalized trans weed last time he was president so why not go fully legal?

- Here’s the source
  It’s truly amazing that orange man legalized weed in 2018.
  You know for a goddamn fact that nobody in congress nor the orange man intended to do this.
  Yet another example of old white men legislating on stuff they don’t understand but at least in this case it’s a win for us
- I've tried to explain what delta 8 vs delta 9 is too many times so I'm trying to simplify it.

Wait, I can get my moobs removed?

You've already received a joke answer, so yes, breast reduction surgery for guys is a thing. And sometimes the doctor can convince some insurance companies to cover it. But ymmv, because USA.
- What if I have access to TJ doctors? Any downsides? Scars or whatnot?
  Just asking for a friend. Don't tell him I asked
If they moo-ed they are sentient cows already, and will produce milk any day now.

Replied to a comment in this thread already but dropping this here for visibility

Orange man legalized weed on a federal level in 2018. Source here

Technically Congress legalized it. It's right there in the title of the article you linked:
"Congress Accidentally Legalized Weed Six Years Ago"
"When lawmakers voted to allow hemp production in 2018, they quietly opened the door to legal THC in all 50 states."
*Edit: typo

Can't wait to pay for my compulsory advertising on X.

It'll be really funny seeing people die from listeria after drinking listeria milk on purpose

Putting the CEO of a space ship company in charge of the government's space ship funding makes about as much sense as letting Congress vote on giving themselves raises

I heard his AG has plans to send in the military to take away your guns! For your safety!

Heard about something about how his AG pick potentially making it so at least people must register their guns. No idea how true or if it's gonna happen, but I imagine that alone would be enough to make a lot of his voters super angry.

Well it's difficult to oppress people with weapons.

Not a meme