Kisses

"Hey babe, come over, we can watch a scary movie for Halloween."

"What movie?"

"Event Horizon."

"Oh, I've never seen it, what's it about?"

Holy shit.
I've been waiting for my kids to be old enough to watch this movie. Once they're all like 16, I'm just gonna hit them with a casual "hey, let's watch this old sci-fi movie" and give them no other details. Mwahahaha
- I’ve done something similar…
  “What are you watching?”
  “An old animated movie from my childhood. Just started, want to watch?”
  “Sure, what’s it called?”
  “The Secret of NIMH”
  I still can’t get them to watch The Last Unicorn.

The Imperium has less political intrigues and sabotage than my wife's work place.

The Imperium in EvE Online might have her workplace beat.
- It truly is impressive how much drama a game about spreadsheets can have.
- I’m pretty sure that IS a workplace.

I thought I was safe because none of the boys I dated even knew what 40k was, then I dated a girl and SHE taught me about 40k. You're NEVER safe.

Kissing girls doesn’t spare you

Was going to inquire. Thanks for answering that, Cap.
- Glad to help lol
What army / faction do you play / prefer? I have an old bet to settle.
(You can probably guess the subject, but I don't want to prime your answer)
- I’ve never played but I have an ex who was looking at necrons and idk what my old fwb played. I always thought Orks were neat

Only reason my GF knows anything about 40k because of me is because I used the Mechanicum not knowing the actual technicals of how anything works to set up a joke about me being a software magos because all I do is write endless canticles of the endl semicolon

I ensnared my partner by describing the mechanicus as "Evangelical Transhumanists" and then giving her the Flesh and Steel audiobook (which is just a genuinely great piece of scifi all on its own WHEN DO WE GET THE SEQUEL GW PLEASE). Now she's color-coordinating the paint job on her Trayzen and Orikan minis and drunkenly holding court on how the Drukhari are the 'only moral faction'.
~~help me what have I done~~
- If she's defending the morals of the Drukhari I'd start worrying about how much time she spends on certain parts of the internet if I were you.
  Specifically the parts of the internet that involve giving her ideas for very not safe for family television things she plans to do to you.
- She's a keeper.
Okay I am using that analogy, thank you

I've never kissed a boy but at this point I might need someone to get me started on Warhammer, it's scary how big it's gotten & how I don't have any time for even much simpler things.

sigh
I'm gonna have to take the bullet and tell my girlfriend I'm gonna go kiss a boy because I really want to know more about 40k
- If anything is understandable, that is.
  \ No subsequent questions should be raised.
I give it two weeks before you're randomly musing about your desire to die along side Sanguinius in defence of the Eternity Gate.
- My mind was already corrupted
I recommend starting by reading the Eisenhorn trilogy, or anything by Dan Abnett, really. That's how I got started - I figured I should learn a bit about the WH40k universe, googled what is the best book, recognised Abnett as the co-author of the modern Guardian of the Galaxy comics (which I absolutely loved) and never regretted it.

Henry Cavill in shreds rn...

Nah. Not really.

She says that like it's a bad thing...

Terrifying. Nightmare inducing.

I want to tell her I'm a boy who knows nothing about Warhammer 40k, but I'm afraid that a boy will hear and try to teach me about Warhammer 40k

Yo. You wanna learn about 40k? /s

What if he doesn't try to teach you about 40k?

I'm not 100% on the lore but, it may be a sign that they are a heretic.

If I am ever heald captive I am going to recite 40k lore, I will either spread the infection and make a friend or I wilk get my ass beat and they have to find out how much more annoying I am while concussed.

i have never kissed a boy

Bullshit if straight

Facts if lesbian

the name implies they're trans...
- Trans women can have sexual orientation too
I would be surprised if most lesbians hadn't kissed a boy at some point.

That's a lot of lore.