Sea captain is also a successful small business owner:
Ambition and stable income are important in a relationship. While Comic Book guy also has a small business and likely stable income, the blatant misogyny would likely be a turnoff for most women.
The professor or Otto. Neither is coming home with me afterward, but I'm imagining a bizarrely fascinating conversation over dinner with the professor, and getting blazed with Otto doesn't sound too bad either.
He might not have the most interesting personality, but he seems like a sweet guy, who can enjoy the little things and who will also join you for the occasional adventure.