Chemists of Lemmy, how accurate is this likability table?

Chemist here: all the reds are correct but it would take so much time to explain why so many of the greens are super concerning. Every time I see this reposted it's so concerning...I should just spend the 17 minutes and save a copy pasta response of everything horribly wrong with this.

Edit: page 1 on the SDS for pure sulfur.

I'm pretty sure that licking pure magnesium would make your tongue explode too.
- I would not be willing to lick calcium, too
- I have elemental magnesium (4 ~50g ingots, I keep it in my library in a barely-sealed ziplock). it's shelf stable and doesn't react violently with water. Want me to try licking it and let you know? (hint: at worst it'll make a minuscule amount of milk of magnesia)
  ETA: Would I stick my tongue in pyrophoric magnesium powder? No, and you wouldn't do that with pyrophoric aluminum or zinc powders, either, but that doesn't stop me from using (or licking) alumnum foil. Proof: https://invidious.darkness.services/watch?v=Q_4I30Nz_b0

My degree is in bio but if I'm remembering my coursework correctly, this is the legend that's supposed to be on it.

If someone's licking any of the transuranic elements I'm not sticking around to watch.
Some stuff should simply not exist in a lickable quantity.
I see we're continuing the trend of scaring literally everyone when a scientist gets excited.

From my elementary knowledge of chemistry:

I had to go looking for Mercury and Lead and sure enough they look about right.

Column 1 reacts with water so you bet that'll hurt. Hydrogen needs a boost to start reacting with oxygen so no naked flame is recommended.

Anything in column 7 are desperate to rip electrons away from molecules so yes, permanent damage to your tongue and mouth.

Uranium is alright if you lick it once. A guy ate uranium cake once on TV.

The 'Please reconsider' lot seem to be a good way to die a horrible death by radiation.

Tc I believe is technetium which is radioactive and emits gamma rays, perhaps not soluable so stays in your body and you become gamma-man.

Needs a "how fast can you move your tongue?" label for the unstable elements.

"Please, tell me how!"
Is it really that bad to lick something that disappears after nanoseconds?
- Lol. I meant to accomplish the lick, in the first place.
  I have no real sense of the likely consequences, other than "probably not great".

Elemental mercury isn't very bioavailable so licking the surface of a pool of mercury isn't going to hurt you much if at all. (Assuming you just do it once). Plus the density of mercury is going make it hard for you to slurp up a significant quantity the stuff anyway.

If you want to know about the horrible potential for mercury to mess you up look for stories about dimethyl mercury exposure. Its the fat soluble varieties that give mercury it's reputation.

The story of the professor who was studying dimethyl mercury is terrifying
- :( oh no now I must search for it

i'm not a chemist but is this licking the most common molecule form or the atomic variety

O₂ is safe but i don't think O is

I'm no chemist but - can you lick a gas?

Edit: pick

Define "lick".
Just freeze them
- If you lick anything at minus 200, you're going to have a bad time.
Same concern. It's even arguable you can only lick solids (and lap liquids). This would make hydrogen a Must Not Lick, for example, if we could only consider solid forms.

Too distracted by the misspelling in the title

you can always answer how likable they are?

Mid at best. There's a lot of stuff you don't want anywhere near your mouth on there.

Licking bismuth would be very very very very very bad

Why? Bismuth is pretty harmless from what I can find. It's not great but it's way better than lead (which it replaced in a lot of applications). Based on what I read, bismuth probably wouldn't hurt you if you gave it a lick.
Are you thinking of benzene?
Listen to this guy. He's serious bismuth
Mfer I'll go lick my rainbow Lovecraftian City looking rocks right now to spite you
- Bismuth bangers 4 lyfe

Beryllium is mostly only toxic when you breathe it in (there's even a special disease you get from it), but as a solid, it's pretty safe afaik.

Not that I recommend it.

Since the green isn't labelled "yes you can" I stopped reading...

I mean, technically you can lick any of them...

(Once)
Can you, though? Can you lick a gas? Am I licking the atmosphere when I stick my tongue out?
Plenty of them are also so rare that there isn't enough of them to form any lickable matter; solid, liquid or gaseous.
Some have such an incredibly short half-life, you cannot lick it before it decays into something else.
- Yes you can lick a gas. Have you ever tasted a fart?

lol You don’t need a table to tell you whether or not you should like an element. Like ‘em all! Also, whoever made the pic misspelled “like” as “lick”. jsyk.

Lead should be red

lead's bad for you, sure, but when some of the other metals on this scale's red might literally explode your tongue/face/head depending on sample size and saliva accumulation, i'd say yellow fits it pretty well.
Nah, metallic lead is pretty solid. Licking it doesn't really do much. You shouldn't ingest lead, but you don't really ingest it by licking a piece of metal.
- Same with metallic mercury. But once it evaporates....
Idk, just licking it once shouldn't do much harm, right?
- Given the choice between licking mercury and licking lead, 96% of respondents answered with lead.
  Apologies for the random percentage and quoting fictional data.
- There is no identified threshold or safe level of lead in blood” [AAP 2016]
  https://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/csem/leadtoxicity/physiological_effects.html
  I'd call that "you really shouldn't" for an adult, and for a baby I'd tell them to "please reconsider" for sure

that yellow and that green are problematically close