1y ago

No scurvy here

43 comments

If life gives you lemons, make a scaleable operation.
- Funily enough life didn’t give us lemons we made them
  
  Oh you don't say?
  
  We are life
Alright I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade- make life take the lemons back. Get mad. I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons, do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down...with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
- Ooh I like this guy!
- CAN IT! When God gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD!
  
  BEAR BLASTING! Similar to hump-catting.
- Better safe than sorry.
Somebody needs to make life take those lemons back!
- Perhaps... Get mad?
  
  I propose some variety of arson… with the lemons.
As if life would just give you lemons.
- Sometimes it does. Problem is, no one wants to buy lemonade.
- We have lemon trees for that
  
  But who wants to be a lemon-stealing whore?
  
  Best I can do is turnip juice.
You build a lempire
- It's good that this came along, since the Cave Johnson monologue just reads like a Karen nowadays.
  
  When life gives you Karens, you just make karenade!
- This is terrible business advice.
Me after working every day for four months straight. 😑
- Even weekends?
  
  Yeah I work four part time jobs. I'm working every single day. It is a real bummer.
  
  Lol you've got a job with weekends.
... is he making lemon-shaped piss bombs from those piss jars which are then vacuumed away for safe storage & times of need?
There might have been a mixup & life keeps accidentally giving me those lemons.
"Unless life is also giving you sugar, your lemonade is going to taste like shit."
Battles have literally been won on avoiding scurvy. Can’t remember which side but Spainish armada vs England naval battles. Had spies report back they were eating sauerkraut and thus didn’t get scurvy. Hard to fight a war that way
When life gives you lemons, urine trouble.
… https://www.willsantino.com/
Is that how it’s told now?
Is it all so old?
Is it made of lemon juice?
doorknob ankle cold

43 comments