Fair enough, but the fact that we have to circumvent official channels in order to do so says a lot about said official channels, y'know?
Nightreign kinda' scares me, I'll be perfectly frank.
It's hard not to look at it as a response to Space Marine 2 and Helldivers 2's success as online comp-stompers. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, FromSoft always put out at least thought-provoking and engrossing (if not downright brilliant) games in terms of mechanical refinement and gameplay.
But that stench of chasing trends is all over this project to my nose. Add to that Bloodborne's doomed console-exclusive future (which is a decision I still thoroughly cannot comprehend, because it sure as hell isn't driving console sales anymore, not even with the Remaster), and I start getting worried about the possibility that FromSoft will end up as just another name on the memorial wall of nuked game developers...
Iliescu are un plan, așteaptă să ne salveze și de un al doilea comunism. Mr. House, nu alta.
She's one of my former workmates from my second-to-last job. She's a fucking weirdo, but she's my kind of weirdo. All grim and trash Goth, deals with crystals and Wiccan stuff, which I like as lore and nothing more, but I love about her. She annoys me in all the right ways.
We had instant rapport, and my jaw was on the floor the moment I saw her. Wasn't just me, you could hear chins hitting plywood all across the office. And rightfully so, she's... forcefully beautiful and raw, don't know how else to put this. She has such a way about her, she's almost aggressively herself and knows what she's got, a very earthy person. I still don't know why I had the courage to even broach an interaction with her, but I'm glad I did, because my gut was right.
We had a rough friendship for the first couple of years. I struggled to reconcile the fact that I was falling desperately in love with her with the deepening bond of genuine friendship which developed. Luckily, my desire to see her happy trumped my myriad wants and I reached a precarious balance with this stuff, which I'm still somewhat maintaining. We went from long stretches of time during which we went out almost every day, either the two of us or with our work group, and equally long stretches of time where we didn't even text each other for, I think, even a year.
I've been a dick to her more times than I want to admit. I understand why I dropped so low as to splash a bit of my shit on her, but I still feel so ashamed of it every time we see each other now. We also had sex once, after emptying a litre of gin between us. The last thing I remember was sharing our suffering, then she was on top of me and we kissed. Then it's just flashes of disbelief and emotional (yes, just that) fulfilment of a sort, but they're just the backdrop to some incredibly blurry snippets of memories. I didn't feel proud of it the next day. I did one of the stupidest things I believed I never would do with one of my dearest friends, whom I love so much beyond friendship, that an immense sense of respect is intrinsic to everything. I can't believe the level of complete self-abandon I've allowed myself to reach with her.
And I can't believe that we're still interacting, that we've even grown a lot closer since then. And, yeah, I love her. It's as clear as day to me now, I've grown to love this woman. Deeply. Voraciously. She's been there with me through some of my worst mistakes, as I've been there for hers. I genuinely don't think anyone else alive really knows me as much as she does. We've seen each other ugly-cry multiple times and our arms know each other's anguish. We've seen each other brought low and defeated, denuded of pride and dignity. And that just made us draw each other closer in, somehow.
I'd be lying if I said that this whole thing didn't scare the crap out of me. I can feel the pangs of lack still going strong after all of these years. It's the knowing, the understanding that we'll never cuddle, I'll never get to wake up to her, to kiss her lips, to devour her, to more constantly bask in her presence - this is not just a pretentious metaphor, I genuinely feel like I imagine a lizard feels on a hot rock under a glaring sun. There are moments when it drives me up the walls, I'll be honest. It's why I won't allow myself to drink with her ever again. It's why I'll never agree to spend the night over ever again, even if it means sleeping on park benches. I don't want to even risk doing anything to endanger our friendship, because I don't want to picture my life without her in it in one form or another.
Seriously, human existence is a collective learning experience, Stagnation started rubbing its hands with perverse delight the instant we forewent vulnerability and openness for excesive individualism.
Edit: I still don't know how to adequately open up to someone else, after a decade of trying to figure it out. After being raised to be a soulless performance machine and being surrounded by people who cave in to the grindset, I don't know what it means to be open and vulnerable with another person.
And it sucks so much long-term, I can feel it as though I'm being held back several grades, like I'm completely missing the point of my own lived experience and have no idea what to do with it, because I don't have the framework of a big picture atop which to analyse things, and I think that framework would be having enough perspectives which aren't my own in my life.
I've finally understood what Alan Watts said, that we can't know ourselves unless we have other people around to help us see who we aren't. It's because we know too well who we are, but not knowing who we aren't, that's like trying to understand fire without knowing ice.
Hey, thank you so much for your answer and insights!
See, that's my point, I'm trying to walk that fine line between being realistically pessimistic and genuine, and pure unsolved trauma. Thing is, I tried to go for positive, for optimistic, but the times being as they are, most optimists are, honestly... a bit deluded and in denial, from what I've seen... And don't get me wrong, I can still enjoy myself, I can still have a nice time, crack jokes, goof around (i.e. I still have that zest for life), but right here and now, with the entire context around us, I'm angry and focused on most days, which seems to clash a lot with the intention of trying to look away from reality.
Heck, I even hoped I'd have the home team advantage with this one, as one of our national pastimes is making fun of the horrible, so I thought more people around here would be inclined toward seeing and calling things as they are. But nope...
And I do have many, many other things with which I try to relate in a potential partner, but this particular aspect has demonstrated itself to be necessary for smooth interactions with a potential partner. This is just who I've become, I am constantly paying attention to everything around me, so it inadvertently reflects off of me in one way or another. If the times are shit, I won't pretend they aren't.
If the person says no in the first place, that can be considered theft/illegal appropriation of private property. I can't see it being worse to access an ex's home with the spare key to retrieve solely what's appropriate in that case.
Well, found the one downside to not knowing what day it is, thank you!
What the actual fuck... Really? Fucking really, MatchGroup?!
I got bot flashbacks from Tinder and OKC the instant I saw the attached photo:))
Fair enough, although I don't think the police would much care about this detail if charges were pressed:)) That's why I suggested trying to solve things amiably first, it'd be a nice little exculpatory element in case things fall apart and OP is required to... procure their stuff directly.
Although this does raise a good point, in that OP may even try involving the police should their ex refuse to return their things, although they'd require proof of ownership for that...
Well, a B&E is pretty much always a bad idea, imo. My advice would be to hang on to that key and try to discuss a repatriation of goods with him. You two could work out a way to do this with minimal face-to-face interaction if things are still a bit too raw. You can then "oh, I just remembered about this" the dupe key back to him.
If this doesn't work out, then a B&E stops being a bad idea.
Every other game: just give players an access point for the creation menu and let them UI themselves to perfection
DS2: put a random coffin on a beach at the back of the tutorial area, surround it with a billion minibosses, and have that change their sex if they get into it. Oh, and don't tell the player anything about it, let's count the minutes before they realise!
I mean, do I really need any other reason to love that game to death? No! No, I don't!
Every time I see a Cybertruck, I start getting intrusive thoughts about sharp things under fingernails.
You don't need to assume that it isn't a tragic familial background, either. Or any other sort of trauma/condition which would push one to close off. Throwing the "soulless" label aroud willy-nilly is just an extension of abusing the "narcissist" moniker. It prohibits any nuance and facilitates unjustified suspicion.
Yes, there are sociopaths who can be considered soulless. But just because one is odd does not intrinsically mean one is soulless. There's a plethora of other potential reasons.
Plus, don't forget, oddity is in the eye of the beholder in the first place. My odd may be completely different than your odd.
Coming from Trump and his ilk, that's a compliment. Fuck you, too, orange buddy.
Ooor, someone had to "survive" their family's bullshit and being unseen was the best way to do it. Then it became so ingrained in said someone's existential fingerprint, that they're now a ninja without even realising it.
Yyyep, that sounds pretty standard fare (no pun intended), I've lived mostly in abstract neighborhoods in terms of infrastructure and had to chase rides in a grand majority of cases.
Plus, honestly, even the way it handled the construction jam sounds acceptable, reminds me of my first days of learning to drive. As long as they stop and stay stopped, that's way better than deciding to ignore the sensor data and just go for it, like... some other models...
The best high-intensity chase-and-combat song which has never been used in a chase-and-combat scene (afaik).
So, got in yesterday to check out the new update, prepped everything for the new missions, then headed onto KIM before starting to play, to get the chats out of the way.
I've been dating Lettie since first possible, kept the relationships through the resets. She had an unread message, opened it, asked me what would take me away from her. I went for the full-on romantic option, she instantly dumps me, and now acts insulted if I ask her to date me again.
Truth is, I can't complain about this, it's believable. I've been subjected to this kind of vehement and impulsive behaviour many times before, and it doesn't suck any less this time, so it has to be realistic. But, man, did it put me off playing this game, to be very honest. Just made me want to get away from the mess.
First off, didn't know if I should post this here, or over on the mental health board. Being focused on the interpersonal, though, I'll slap it here. Please lemme know if I should take it outside.
Second, and as a preface (maybe even the main hint I should've taken, but we'll see later on), I'm looking for a nuanced answer. I have been told that "I should go vegan if I'm allergic to veal" a lot of times before, but to my mind it's way too vehement a change for something which, as dictated by my gut, holds more nuance than that. I know it's not the standard way of doing things, but it's how I want to try to do them for now, at least.
Thirdly, I say everything from my perspective, I state solely my opinion, and draw conclusions exclusively based on my limited set of experiences, so please don't take anything I say as universally applicable or as supreme truth, because I don't, either.
So, ok, onward to the thick of it. It's about my pattern in attraction and in choosing potential partners. So far, I've primarily ended up in pretty toxic relationships, even when consciously and actively seeking something healthier as guided by my therapists. It's usually been the anxious <> avoidant dance with varying comorbid ancillaries such as reciprocally triggering each others' trauma responses, codependent <> BPD, etc., etc.
Now, my problem with all of this is that while I can recognise the mismatches and pain points when I see them - I've, unfortunately, become familiar with the dynamics of this situation, as well as the plethora of tiny little variations brought about by the different typologies of trauma clusters, I seem to be attracted primarily to characteristics which, so far, seem to be a package deal with the aforementioned unpleasantness. Even called out several incoming landmines to my therapists based on instinct in some previous relationships, which meant I started to manage avoiding the shitstorm which inevitably occurs at one point as this type of dynamic unfolds.
To note that I keep an eye out for red flags, as realistically and as attentively as possible, because I have physical abuse on my Bingo card and really don't want to have to go through hiding sharp things in my house so that my partner won't have easy access to any again. I really want something safe for myself, if anything at all, and am genuinely trying. But this shit pops up even months later, with no outward signs beforehand, and I have no idea how to account for things I can't see.
This, then, is my question: am I intrinsically attracted to that which harms me like a magnet, unconsciously, do I have fuck-me-up-dar? Or is there a possibility of having the cake and eating it, too, like, meet someone who is thoroughly fucked up (as am I), but who is keeping it in check? Because, yes, I am attracted to the existential grit brought about by hardships. I like someone with dirty hands, someone who has good reasons to not be optimistic or generally cheerful, someone who has seen the things beneath the flesh and is now knee-deep in the abyss. Being miserable together is beautiful and nothing can dissuade me of it. Can the two exist separately?
Because I tried going for the "safer" people and, without the slightest intent of condescension, it always ended up feeling very platonic on my end. It felt like interacting with an immense innocence and I couldn’t allow myself to unfold, as it would’ve been like exposing dandelions to high levels of radiation to my mind. I couldn’t reach romance, as my romance is inextricably and irredeemably influenced by who I am. My love, though sincere, is tarnished and more than a bit charred. And I don’t want to be a loved one’s harsh reality, that is one role which I wholeheartedly avoid playing. Which is why I seek someone likewise tarnished and more than a bit charred. I even tried “same, but different,” in which personality varied greatly from my base while still presenting some behavioural common ground, and I ended up receiving the aforementioned physical abuse…
I also welcome (and thank you for) any other insights you may have pertaining to this situation, even if not directly related to my question!
More pics:
I've been tinkering with this one for a while, it all started because I thought the two red canopy pieces would flow well together, which they did. Instantly screamed "the Bentley of flying cars/space shuttles," then it devolved into a conversion job - refitted with much larger thrusters and a positronic core to aid with ship systems and manoeuverability, oversized nacelles to house proprietary power generators for each thruster (the rest of the ship runs on the stock power source, haven't made one up yet), interior pretty much pulled out and replaced with increased storage options, a workbench, a full-on tac and field research center, and generally repurposed for infiltration and overall stealth shenanigans.
Not that happy about the main ingress, I built it so that it could dock with a much larger ship (still WIP) based on those half-stud rails visible on its sides, under the nacelles, and I had envisioned a sort of emergency hatch in the mothership's main corridor through which the crew could drop right into the shuttle. Might reconsider that as I build the engineering bay on the other ship.
And, of course, it's parking friendly!
Play the SysShock remake if you haven't!