A tumblr post by valeofftherails saying "Reblog if this would work on you" with an attached screenshot of three text messages that have been sent to the person taking the screenshot. They say "Sup u look mentally ill", "I think i want to take care of u", and "I have a cat btw".
While sitting on the Toilet, I had the idea of peeling the one half of the mango to be able to use the other half as a handle. It however unfortunately didn't prevent the the sloppy and juicy mango goodness to get all over my hands and face. So John Oliver is still right.