"Okay?"
I am not a friend of clever comebacks. People who point these things out are pathetic and people who get triggered by that only slightly less so.
Damn thats a cheap watch, is it Chinese too?
Can your watch play Bad Apple?
Can your watch run Doom?
Can you install Arch on that watch?
...
... didn't think so 😛
You paid all that money for a watch that can't do ANY cool stuff? You utter loser 🤣 🤣 🤣
I guess it's true, money can't buy taste.
Fun fact: Alec Baldwin's character was invented for the movie to provide exposition. The filmmakers didn't trust movie-going audiences to pick up the information from the three conversations that occur at the beginning of the play.
"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"
I don't have a car
I don't care to respond
I don't mind sounding poor.
Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.
Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?
A shame, such a tasteless choice. If you had as much class as money, you'd have chosen something like a vintage 1960s submariner rather than a frivolous toy available on every high street in the world.
If only you had learned to tell time.
"that's cute!"
Barf in his face.
"You got ripped off"
Woow, what does it do?
- It tells time.
Nothing else? So does my car.
Sad as fuck that you need expensive set pieces to maintain the facade of your self worth. If I were over here wearing a Timex I'd still be fine with who I was. Would you?
- Your clock stopped. (Looks at the clock)
- No it's still working.
- You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.
"Timex?"
"and i have a piece of cardboard thats worth more than your watch" whips out a charizard
'nice watch!' then move in and quietly say "oh, hey, it looks like your barber missed a spot back there"
"good for you, little guy"
You still use a watch?
Such frivolous spenditure will rot your money. Decay of your father's fortune and your child's kingdom. Begotten by weak flesh and temptation, coward from strength.
Even the homeless know to not show your power before you speak, or your trades will be levied against you.
I have people who love me.
I feel like owning expensive stuff like that is non optional for the very rich. Those who answer things like "my phone already does that" do sound poor. They don't buy it because they need the time. They buy it because it looks nice and is expensive.
I think I would make a disgusted face and say something like "really? It doesn't look like it. What brand is it?"
K
Just smile non-genuinely and say "Sure."
“Your watch cost more than £100?”
So you could have donated that money to a food bank or homeless shelter and gotten a tax break. Or you could have just kept it and invested in dividend paying stock, but instead you spent it on a watch that tells you the same time as my $20 watch?
I can read digital clocks faster.
When I was at school, the kids would say, "my dad's shed is bigger than your dad's shed". But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child's view of the world. Most of us grew up.
Good for you, why should I care?
Either dishonest affirmation or "That's nice, buddy" and touch his shoulder.
With people you might need later it's the first option, the second if you want to piss off narcissists.
Fool and his money.
Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /jMy car has an analog clock face too.
Can you go careening around twisty mountain roads with the top down with a 6 speed manual stick with that watch? No? I'll take my Miata any day. Good luck with your time keeping.
Nice.
Smile really big and start laughing. Maintain the smile, maintain eye contact.
"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."
Look of confusion "Does...does that make you happy?"
-or-
"Was it worth it?"
Has this one done it? or how many such watches in do you get to be happy?
“Why would I own a car? Our public transportation works fine. Or a watch, since I can already see the time from my mobile phone.”
"what?"
"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"
"one more time?"
"ok. thanks for letting me know."
Tell him I still banged your mom tho
I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.
But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."
"Was it meant to make you happier? I'm not sure it worked."
"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"
I have friends.
And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.
If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.
You see this? This is called a "smart phone." Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you've been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend's phone number. He's an accountant, and I think he'll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.
Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?
Sorry I'm not into bracelets
“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”
The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,
"Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change."
But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others' power/approval and relate to them to assert that they're no different from you.
"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."
"You got it wrong, expensive watches dont go faster"
"I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."
(Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)
"What's your point?"
"Oh, am I supposed to kiss it?"
"Wow, you're really shit at bargaining. They really took you for a ride!"
"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."
neat
Jokes on you, with the deferred maintenance, my car has negative worth.
"Fuck outta here with your garbage little trinket. Rolex as a whole, doesn't come anywhere NEAR the big three in any capacity, so go get yourself a real watch and I might be impressed, because all you've shown me so far is your have more money than taste...*
"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"
You paid that much for a watch that looks like you steal from your grandad?
"and yet your dad still don't love you."
"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."
"It's not my fault you're stupid"
get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.
optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.
That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap
laughs gently and sighs
"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."
Compliment it and remember that the guy is an asshole lmao
I'd just start laughing and point at them.
"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"
Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.
Cool story bro
good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then
That's when you pull Nick Swarsdson's wrist watch bit. "Hey man I can't read my watch, can you read my watch?"
Shoot the man.
I can afford not to have a watch.
"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."
Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.
“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”
I wouldn't even hide that watch up my ass.
So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…
A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.
Your pathetic status symbols only show how anxious and insecure you are.
Quite a low bar considering that I don't need a car of my own.
That's not a very high bar, boomer.
That's how they'll know whose assets to liquidate when the world wakes up.
neet
"What a horrible financial decision"
That watch salesman really ripped you off then.
Will your regular charge you half price when she doesn't see you wearing it?
Bragging is lower-class behavior
Ok, and what's your question?
I couldn't care less.
Smile and say "it's very pretty".
"your wife is still sleeping with the pool boy"
What time is it?
This isn't a car
I don't have a car
Good for you man, that's a really great watch 😊
Sad little men like that are most hurt by you not being offended by them. It's like with internet trolls; non-engagement is the best weapon. It also happens to require the least amount of energy or time. So easy, but so devastating to their ego.
Calling someone a fairy is a quick way to win an argument
cool! anyway...
"Sweet that means someone in need could get a car!"
"Sweet that means someone in need could get a car!"
"It must be so tedious being bound in the literal shackles of time. Worse yet to attach ones sense of manhood to their own enslavement. Even moreso to celebrate it with an even fancier manacle... I'm going to go enjoy a coffee. I'll be back whenever I'm done."
"Wow, I guess you really CAN'T buy taste then"
"Big deal- I also have a small cock."
No wait I wanna change it to "I have a small cock too, but nobody can tell just by looking at me"
interesting, i also used to enjoy making poor people feel 'less than,' but then i graduated high school
Cool. Anyway...
"So instead of feeding hundreds of hungry children, you decided to get gaudy jewelry that tells everyone you're a greedy cunt?"
Yes, but do you have brass balls?
"Cool; I'll just take it right over to the pawn shop then"
I think I made the better choice.
Realize you mistakenly spoke to a Baldwin and walk away
Why would I spend money on a depreciating asset? My money works for me.
So you like to waste money?
I eat them.
“Does it cost more than the lawyers trying to save your ass after your negligence led to you shooting and killing someone whose only crime was showing up to work?”
"Oh that's cute, does it have a Spring Drive tho?"
Oh cool. Mine is made out of wood and leather and cost ten bucks. I've had it for two decades and my dad had it for four. It's really comfortable and loses a second a decade. How's yours do?
But can it djent?
