People here who are very popular in their school/workplace, what actually makes you feel happy?
People here who are very popular in their school/workplace, what actually makes you feel happy?
So normally people like me get extremely happy if you say something like ‘nice shirt’, however it got me wondering about people who receive compliments and gifts all the time, what makes y’all happy? I presume it gets kinda annoying after some time?
Try giving those compliments.
It's not what you're asking about but most people want that kind of attention sometimes.
I'm a middle-aged straight dude. I compliment other guys beards, hats, jackets, whatever, because we NEVER get compliments.
And it's common to want or need feel special and noticed now and again.
It's the stuff you remember - one guy in a work meeting saying 'Damn that was fast' when I came up with a good comeback, or the guy at the convenience store who went nuts when he heard my voice and realized I was the guy who had the big bushy beard (that I'd shaved the night before as a Halloween 'costume'.)
Tbh I am kinda on the fence on this particular subject, like some sort of a compliment when I am a bit down would be nice, but the feeling of being complimented once every two/three years is so absolutely ethereal to me that I don’t wanna let it go, it’s a different kind of happiness which I don’t think I would get if I started getting compliments more regularly
But you know that is just my opinion
Right, but that's my point - be the change you wish to see in the world.
The people you think of as popular who are complimenting people, maybe they're only popular because they make other people feel good by acknowledging them.
Be kind. Be encouraging. Be complimentary. There's no good reason not to be, really.
I understand this concern. It has been a strange shift but honestly it’s wonderful. That ethereal feeling doesn’t necessarily go away but it does change a bit.
As you get better at giving compliments and lifting people up you will draw similar people to you and teach people around you to speak to you in a similar way. There’s a feedback loop that raises that ethereal feeling to something more familiar but no less effecting.
People always remember how you made them feel (both good and bad). Never underestimate that.
When you make them feel something for once
I don't think I've ever thought about who's "popular" at work.
I remember that being a thing in like high school, but it just doesn't map to my experience as an adult working a full time job.
As to what makes me happy: The usual things. I get paid. I get recognition for work well done. People listen to me when I say "Don't do that. That's a terrible idea. I will explain why in as much detail as you need."
I think the concept of 'popular' at work is a bit silly but for the sake of your question, I am and have been very well-liked at most of my jobs. People give me compliments and show their appreciation often and I usually do float on that high for a minute, but I also don't really absorb it. I have real bad imposter syndrome and low self esteem. Those 'popular' people aren't usually as high on themselves as you might think.
As for what actually makes me happy, idk maybe my cats and seeing people I care about succeed.
I'm glad you get happy when you get compliments, you deserve to feel happy. I can't imagine ever being annoyed by compliments.
Saying the right thing at the right time and place - whether it's a joke or empathic words or advice, it feels awesome to feel connected to someone by having said the right thing.
I like making jokes with people. Anything to make people laugh. If you have to be there, you might as well have some fun doing it. And, it is great for group cohesion. Not everyone has to be funny either, just be open to laughing with others.
School? I just talked to everyone and asked them questions about their lives, because I was curious. Everyone was so different from me.
Work? Well I’m old now and cranky, people just deferred to me and I didn’t want to and for some raisin people loved me. I didn’t want them to, I just wanted to get stuff done and go home. But they’re alright.
I'm naturally charismatic. I'm lucky, don't know how or why it just comes natural. But I hate getting complements. It makes me uncomfortable, I don't need or want them. What drives me is my own desire to be better and get better. I don't need external influence, my internal pressure is already many times greater than what most get exposed to. At least that's my interpretation.
I ran a large organization that sold test answers. By my senior year I had a full casino going.
Social media validation isn't real validation.