[Swords DCCXXXIX: CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON, by Matthew J Wills]
Panel 1
[A sword with a brightly glowing blade. The hilt is blue and scaly, while the guard forms the shape of two yellow-eyed, green-scaled dragons consuming one another's tails to form a circle. The pommel features a ring hole from one side to the other. At the tip of the blade are two dots and a very thin line forming a slightly smiling face.]
A SWORD THAT GLOWS BRIGHTLY WHENEVER YOU'RE HUNGRY
Panel 2
[A sword on a wavy dark blue background. The blade is large, heavy, and only sharp on one side. There is a large spike like a dorsal fin bending backwards from the blunt edge, two divets like side fins on the flat, four divets along the sharp edge, and a large crack digging into the tip, reminiscent of a toothy maw. The hilt is dark brown, seemingly bound with leather straps.]
A SWORD THAT ONLY WORKS UNDER WATER
Panel 3
[A sword with a blade enclosed in pink-and-white striped wax, like a decorative candle. The hilt is blue, with a crossguard that curls up towards the blade. At the tip of the blade, the wax is melted away, revealing a dark, sharp interior like the wick of a candle, and more reminiscent of a wooden stake than of a blade. This tip is on fire, and the fire blazes forwards to form a more conventional sword-tip shape.]
A FIRE SWORD THAT ONLY LASTS FOR A SINGLE DAY
Panel 4
[A jagged, decrepit sword, curved in multiple places. The tip curves forwards then hooks back again like the tip of a khopesh, with two distinct, sudden corners to change angle instead of a gradual curve.
Beneath the tip, the blade is partially enclosed in a wooden guard of some sort. There is a spiral marking leading into a line on the upper part of this, and the wood is unenclosed at the front until the very bottom of the blade, where it closes over and curves to a very thin point before curving back to meet the hilt.
From the spot just above the hilt, grey hair like a beard emerges from the wood. The hilt is wrapped in white strapping of some sort, and the pommel has a ring hole from one side to the other, and three spikes, one on the bottom, two on the sides.]
A SWORD THAT STEALS THE VICTIMS AGE AND ADDS IT TO THE WIELDERS
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I'd get the fourth sword, then I'd take a regular dagger, and cut open a pregnant cow or cat or dog or something. I'd then slay all the kittens or calves or puppies with my new sword. Since the animals are not born yet, they would have an age of less than 0. When we add their negative age to mine, I'd become weeks or even months younger per kill! With this I will have everlasting youth!
Am I really so strange? There are tales as old as time itself where powerful people seek everlasting life, and they are willing to commit far worse atrocities to reach their goals. For me the price is merely the lives of a few barnyard animals, common livestock that would have died for the goals of man anyway! This is no different than you eating a meal.
Is the amount of food that would barely feed a small army really such a high price to pay for a longer healthier life? I think not!
Impressive, you had a more evil response than mine!
I feel like the chances of you getting a drunk or some sort of criminal who decides to kill you all the way with the sword and take all of your gold while not knowing what the sword does would eventually end up killing you, though. It's even possible that there's nothing nefarious behind it too, they just happen to stab you in the right way where you end up bleeding out or something.
Or maybe, some poor men's wives would appear and hunt you down. Angry that you somehow stole something from them when they already had nothing. After stealing their husbands' youths, they're now out for blood! I dunno, haha.
I was thinking about it more as the "sword of dieting" because it should tell you when you're actually hungry, not just bored or whatever, and will stop glowing when your hunger has been properly satiated so you know when to stop eating!
Ok but chase that concept through capitalism. Control of the sword falls into the wrong hands, and that person becomes immeasurably powerful. Inevitably you end us with a dystopian nightmare where the ruling class trades youth to the rich and connected, while creating a market for poor sacrificial children.
#2 because it's gonna be a sword on 70% of the planet. Especially since you live in a magical world with fish people and spells that make you breathe underwater and protect you from pressure,etc, etc. Meanwhile the first sword lets your enemies know you are hungry, which a really smart enemy could take advantage of.
Depending on if it glows when I feel hunger, or actually am hungry. Either I've got a permanent light source, or can finally tell the difference and might lose some weight. Win either way.
I like the last sword, a lot of people need life more than others :p, I mean, is it wrong to steal the age of someone who is going to the chair and is going to disappear anyway? I think at least that's a fair deal.