Ethical dilemma

I sit in the hallway and say 'pss pss pss pss" while making a scratching motion with my hand. The cat that comes over first becomes King.

Make sure they can both see me and understand that I heard their cries. Turn my back and walk away.

Meet injustice with justice.

The same thing a cat would do. Look at them both, give a slow blink, then stand up and walk away to go do my own thing.

Check mate kitty 🙀♟️🎭

Shut both doors, then open a different one and say "Whose a lovely kitty then?".

Turn and walk away. Never negotiate with terrorists!

Mate I'm still laughing as I type this comment thank you so much

Sit where you are, invite them to come join you

Watch as they both ignore you.
- Then at least it's their own fault
- Then you gotta play the game. Stand real still. Lick your arm. Scratch your head a little. Then spaz out and run away.
That’s what a cat would do

Shake the treat bag so they both come to me.

Power move. You sit down in the hallway and make them come to you.

Refuse to participate in this no-win scenario.

Instead? Ignore them and eat a can of tuna.

They will both come running to demand you drop some tuna for them
- This is the ideal, yes.
  If you can’t win a scenario, change the scenario.
Just make sure they don't have access to where you sleep.

Sit in the hallway and open a bag of treats

You got game

Walk into the kitchen, shake treat container.

There is this thing called "pspsps" did you know that?

Say “ma-ah!” at them.

That’s apparently cat for “come here”.

Ask Schrödinger to put you in a box, split yourself into 2 timelines, then you can satisfy both cats.

Okay, so which cat gets the corpse?

Ooh, a double slit! Do like the ol' photon or electron interfering with itself, both slits at the same time.

The revenge of Schrödinger's cat.

Open the fridge and both cats will come running

If they are my cats, choose the dark one because the white doesn't want to play, he just wants food, and will literally do this if I try.

Lay on the ground and meow

With my current cats I have a clear favourite so I would go to her, and then the other one would run in the room and demand the attention because he is a needy little shit. I love him though, he just never lets her (or anyone) have a moment of peace.