Lord of the memes @midwest.social casmael @lemm.ee 1y ago

But first they would need to invent some tape

They could have fitted the whole ring / tape / mouse assembly into a small paper bag Aragorn could have kept it in his jacket and fed it little bits of lembas on the way how lovely x

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Sam did bear the weight of the ring, its hard to convey in the movie but the book makes it clear. Sam just had an iron will.
- AND he hadn't already been carrying the ring the whole fucking way like Frodo did!
- He was really just sick and fucking tired of the Lembas bread that much.
  
  Really the whole story of Sam could be boiled down to drive of a man who really wanted to get back to a life of a good women and great food.
  
  Needed more pipeweed to get through it.
- Sam is the main character in the book
- So instead of sending Sam, the whole Shire should have taken the trio together and just passed the ring back and forth amongst like 10 people?
  
  All you have to do is read the first book to realize why that wouldn’t work.
no it's cause Sam was a fucking saint
- This is my headcanon and I cannot be convinced otherwise.
  
  Yeah sam is the true king imo 👑
  
  I mean, I haven't read the books in a while now, but iirc they make this pretty damn clear
- He really was, though. Both Frodo and Bilbo carried the weight better than any other had before them, but they were still negatively impacted by it. But not Sam. Truly a goldenhearted being.
I thought Sam did put on the ring in the books.

It also affected Boromir just being around it.

Didn't Smeagol kill a friend just to have it before even wearing it?
- Yes. Basically, Sam was practically only one in the Fellowship who could resist the temptations of The Ring, because he had really simple desires.
  
  I dunno... he didn't have it for very long in the films, then hesitated when Frodo asked for it back. He resisted the ring, but it still affected him a little bit.
  
  Sam Bombadil
The mouse definitely would have escaped and ran straight to Sauron.
- Yep. This particular configuration only works because of Sam's devotion to Frodo.
  
  We need more configurations.
- Okay but what about all the fish that swam in the river the ring was in all this time
Sam just had the strength to resist the ring.

He didn't crave for power, but only for food and peace.
- Good thing the ring wasn't made of spuds
  
  You mean PO-TAY-TOES?
  
  Or hobbit poontang
Yes, but through that mouse, the ring would wield a power too squeak and scratch to imagine.
- Mouse would escape the tape and stick its head through the ring. Then you have an invisible mouse to rule them all to deal with. The whole of Middle Earth would be absolutely overrun with mice
Consider this: Frodo is the mouse
- Yup. As a maiar, this is basically what Gandalf did.
  
  This is a maiar?
Was magic ring ever explained on a technical level? I thought all we know is it wants to be with sauron and it makes angels shit themselves.

For all we know putting it on a mouse gives everyone mouse nightmares and make them worship the mouse as mouse king before they take it straight to sauron.
- Do you not have the Official Middle Earth Technical Manual?
  
  I've got the Original Equipment Manufacturer's factory service manual.
  
  The OEMOMEFSM.
But that mouse would have become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
- And would sing 🎵 HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! 🎵
  
  Mighty mouse. Faster than a bullet and stronger than a locomotive.
*affected
Yes. There could have been a thousand things that could of happened and then we wouldn't have had this book, or the trilogy, or the landscape of modern day fantasy as we know it.
- could've
  
  Impressive that he got it correct and incorrect in the same sentence.
No, just proves Sam is the real hero of the story.
- Yeah Sam is the hero we need but probably don’t deserve
The ring shrinks down to fit the mouse sized knuckle. After disappearing, the mouse would have hopped on on of those massive eagles and flown away from the volcano.
- "so long, suckers!"
Until the mouse kills all of them.
I suspect it's more a question of proximity, the one not carrying it is much further and thus much less affected by it

If you carry the mouse, then it's almost as if you're carrying it yourself
- They should have carried an eagle with the ring attached to him.
- so just tie it to a stick and hold it in front of yourself
Gets to mount Doom, chucks mouse into volcano.
- Adorable until it isn’t 🥰
They could tie the ring to a balloon and push it along.
- They could just tie it to a long string and drag it.
  
  Tie the hands of two people together and put the ring on the rope hanging in the middle.
Could they have just used a stick to carry it then?
- no they should have just taped the mouse to an eagle
  
  Perfection
Cut to the palace of Mausron the Terrible I: "And that's how we overthrew the apes and founded our perfect paradise, which I now rule with my tiny, iron adorable fist."
Ah yes, tape, the cornerstone of every Hobbit's hole.
- Did you read the title?
  
  invents tape, then tapes your mouth shut
Walk Walk Walk
- Yooooo Tom cardy
- Oh hey, new D&D post.
Better yet, start the battle of pelannor fields as usual, cept you give that paper bag to Gwaihir and have him drop that shit on Mt doom like a gahdamn b52. NnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnerrrroooooomKABOOM. Job done.
- I’m imagining a sped up montage and then a record scratch “yup that’s me, in the paper bag. You’re probably wondering how I ended up here…”
  
  fortunate son starts playing
tape did not exist in this era of fantasy.... Sam could do this because he was pure of heart

95 comments