Covid vaccine going to kill me or nah?

The vaxx did kill you. You're in hell. This is hell. Welcome to hell.

I does explain a lot

We can say with absolute certainty that 100% of people who were vaccinated will die.

Only about 94% of all people who ever lived died so far, so that's far from conclusive.
- Insanely enough, this is actually a valid point lol
"The vax will kill you in 100 years, give or take a few decades"

I've heard from a reliable source that people who get the COVID vaccines are likely to die within 100 years

100 percent mortality within 150 years of getting the jab. Why is this not bigger news!
- Same for people who've drunk tap water! Makes me wonder what they're really putting in our water...

"they will press a button and the vaxx toxins in your blood will activate to slowly kill you until the age of 100"

I heard there may be trace remnants of dihydrogen monoxide in them, which is commonly found in people who die around age 100.
- this chemical is extremely dangerous when ingested in large amounts.

I, very unfortunately, had a major health issue after being vaccinated. Of course, it had nothing to do with the vaccine, but try telling that to my anti-vax family members.

My uncle died after getting vaccinated. He was run over by a bus.
- plot twist: the vaccinator was driving the bus.

I low effort meme'd your low effort meme

I've got some vegan/anti-vax friends and they told me at the start of Covid that the vaccine has a 100% kill rate (based on the very early testing when it was apparently given to very ill people, on their deathbeds). Zero evidence that the vaccines were the cause.

Don't take the vaccine! It will kill you.

4 or so years later and we are still waiting for literally billions of people to just drop dead, all those people that took the vaccine.

Any day now...

But really, if it killed 100% of people that quickly I'm sure we'd have seen it by now.

Big Pharma is concealing that you’re dead through their control of lamestream media.
- This friend of mine used to work on site at Big Pharma.
  
  He must know things.
  
  Hell, I used to do work for them and other Big Pharma... they might have gotten to me and I never knew it.
I'm pretty sure that being vegan is not relevant to the statements mentioned...
- Ah, I should explain. But correct, I shouldn't really include that.
  
  I mentioned the veganism bit because they try and lecture me on my eating habits in addition to lecturing me on vaccinations.
  
  They'd often bring up diet while we game and then when Covid hit their comments flipped over to anti-vax.
- There's quite a bit of crossover between "vegan" and "crunchy new age woo woo alt-medicine"
they told me at the start of Covid that the vaccine has a 100% kill rate

Just wild to me that there are people who would believe something like this... Just... what? Why?
- well, technically speaking, 100% of people who take the vaccine will die. But 100% of the people who don't take the vaccine will too. Just sooner.
- Vaccines BAD! so I believe anything bad I hear about vaccines!

It's because I get boosters every year, it pushes it back or something

It's like breathing. Ever since your first breath at birth, each additional one just postpones your death by 5 minutes.
- Is it cumulative?. I've been breathing every 10 seconds for 40 years, either I stop now or I'll be there for the hear death of the universe.

I keep getting vaccinated hoping to die and now I never get sick! Wtf! Argh!

right? I got vaxxed thinking "I'll be dead in 1 year" and 4 years, I'm still alive. why though? RIPPED OFF.
- Exactly. I'm starting to think Conservative Christian fascist Trumpers aren't that smart! Hmph!

They are attributing the symptoms of sickness to the side-effects of the vaccines

If you had the covid vaccine, you're going to die in a year. Which year exactly is not clear, but we'll definitely be in a year when you die.

If only they were right

I’ve had so many recently I should probably just crumble into bones and dust like the bloke in Indiana Jones who chose poorly.

I know it's hard to believe, but all side effects of the vax went away instantly with self medication. Covid by the other hand...i want vengeance over that thing believe me.

When people write "vax" I interpret it as a gamertag like xXx_vaxxxxxx_xXx

Ooo so scary!

You know, I'm starting to think these Antivaxxers might be lying... I've now gotten hundreds of covid shots and I still seem to be alive. I keep being promised certain death any day now. Maybe if I just get a few more it'll kick in.

Any day now...

Typical government, making promises they don't keep, getting my hopes up of a swift death, then rugpulling

If someone was going to assassinate you, a long incubation period prion disease would be the way to go. Just like the seemingly harmless virus I just accidentally released.