People Twitter @sh.itjust.works The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world 3d ago

Guy friends' advice

61 comments

Sometimes "Suck it the fuck up" is good advice, sometimes it isnt. Sometimes "Process this later" is healthy, sometimes it isnt.

Emotional health is knowing what you need and when.
- I’m a huge fan of embrace the suck and cut slingload
  
  "Embrace the suck" is a big one for me. I work outdoors and unless the weather is dangerous you still have to get it done. So when proper shit weather hits I just laugh now because while its going to be terrible its going to be an experience.
  
  Like that time I did 10 hours in 40c heat during a dust storm, wearing a respirator. Worst day ever... hell of an experience though.
I honestly read this and until I saw the comments I assumed they were gaming and she locked in league champ select which is a valid time to cry seeing as youre about to play league.
- I genuinely lold. I also still kinda miss lol
Its terrible advice. Crying is good for you.
- It's terrible advice if you struggle with it.
  
  I however cry quite easily. In hindsight all this "don't suppress your feelings" advice honestly always felt more directed at boys and men.
  
  Learning to turn off and distract yourself from bad feelings is also a skill. I think quite a few people - especially women - struggle with that, me included.
- Crying is good for you. Lighthearted encouragement and camaraderie is also good for you.
- Cry all day then for maximum health?
  
  Save your tears today
  
  You might need them tomorrow
  
  Mine ran out too soon
  
  I don't feel healthy :'(
- Eh, it depends on the situation. There is definitely a time and place for locking your emotions down. Most people will never need it though.
  
  Maybe for the sake of maintaining social status, sure, but that's a sacrifice. Its just straight up physically unhealthy to stifle crying however.
Told my 5 year old to cry quietly once... cried louder.
What does 'lock in' mean in this situation?

Yours faithfully,

a confused Brit.
- Cowboy up.
  
  Get your boot straps out the dirt.
  
  Cryers don't get healthcare.
  
  (Okay I'm running out of Americanisms)
  
  It's telling someone to stop being emotional.
  
  I'd say it's telling someone to focus on a task at hand
- Gen Z slang for saying "get it together and focus"
  
  Ah ok, thanks.
  
  Where I'm from a lock in is a pub illegally serving drinkers after time by locking the doors.
  
  Ok... So maybe this is a dumb question, but is it helpful to hear that when you're having a hard time?
- Steady on.
  
  👍
- I see it as Stay Focused
- Traditionally, to be "locked in" on something would mean to be locked in on your target, goal, etc.
  
  Telling someone to lock in or "lock it in" is kind of like a nice way of saying "get your shit together" or "focus up". I hear it in sports/ gaming lingo.
  
  I do believe if someone told me to "lock in" while I was on a video game I would fall over laughing.
  
  So it's something like 'man up'. Ok, I can understand that.
  
  gaming lingo
  
  I see. So just press Tab, right?
After all the stories about how male authors can't do realistic female characters, someone reversed it and asked how could you instantly tell if it was a woman describing a man.

The book 'The Outsiders' is about a bunch of tough guys who spend a lot of time talking about their feelings.
- Stay gold, Ponyboy. (Wow, that name aged strangely.)
I think the middleground between toxic masculinity and overly emotion dumping femcels is a great target.
- wtf did I just read
  
  The linguistic analog of a quaternion rotation.
  
  Idk dude, idk.

61 comments