Education

For every 10 full size snickers you collect, I give you one loose m&m.

I also put a couple of your siblings up for adoption right before Halloween to let you know you're expendable.

If it bothers you, you can always go talk to your mom, who empathises, so that you feel good enough to get back to collecting my our candy. But she will immediately come tell me everything you said.

You ungrateful worm... After all I've done for you?

Did you mean to say that the mom is empathetic? Because emphasising has a different meaning.
- Spell check, thanks
You forgot to take away 1/3 of the loose M&M after giving it to them.

Additionally, if your bucket handle breaks, you need third party software and hardware to create a matching digital signature to replace the handle.

If your bucket does not have an internet connection, it has no bottom. It is merely a tube.

"Sorry son, little Johnny across the street is willing to go trick or treating for only two pieces of candy per hour, so I'm taking him instead."

Based. Also teach em to share the buckets so they can distribute the candy democratically.

This is like the level of the boomer meme about teaching kids about taxes.

I think it's meant to be a parody on the boomer anti-socialism meme
The cycle remains unbroken.

you only get to trick or treat on the property you own

libertarian Halloween is shit!
- And the candy is all homemade from raw ingredients made in unregulated factories...

Teach them about statism and tell them you own the bucket and all the candy they gathered and all the candy all their friends gathered. Give them a welfare of a few pieces of candy you gathered. Then tell them to go gather more candy otherwise they're grounded.

It'd be more correct to say that they all own the totality of the candy gathered, because they share the bucket, and as such can democratically allocate the candy.
- I like this, I felt like I learned your view better. Unfortunately I'm an individual not a collective. I own my own body and therefore I own the fruits of the labors I endure. I dont think this theoretical democratic "they" should have any say over my body or the products I generate with my efforts.

Will you pay them to collect the candy too?

Sure. Out of the 50 pieces gathered by 5 children, each will recieve 1. The owner of the bucket needs to be compensated for their risk, after all!
You collected 36 pieces of candy.
Coincidentally due to forces beyond my control your rent this month is 35 pieces of candy. You understand I’ve got bills to pay too, right?
of course. They will recieve 30% of the candy the collect as payment
- What a generous rate! And a great way to ease them into the shock that the real rate is much, much worse
Well, lets see, I make my company about 3 orders of magnitude more money than they pay me every year, so I suppose if my kids gather 1000 pieces of candy, I'll give one back to them as payment.
That'll be 50 snickers bars please
And in a communist society, the candy belongs to everyone in the neighborhood, so they have to go around passing it out until it's equally distributed...
- Communism isn't about equal distribution. Communism is about addressing everyone's needs from everyone's collective abilities.
- ah yes, the classic room temperature IQ dunk
- No, the buckets would be communally owned, and those who were luckier - perhaps they got to the good houses earlier - would be made to give some of their surplus to Jimmy, who fell ill just that morning and couldn't go trick-or-treating to not infect others. They'd still have enough, but Jimmy wouldn't be left out just because he was unlucky.

mom always got her 'cut'....

as payment for driving us across town to the 'good' neighborhoods.

Kids will start using their pillow case

My pillow case.
- Child: "But daddy, this pillowcase smells like chemicals and has holes in it?"
  Dad: "Halloween is cancelled, you're a freedom hating lib-cuck that hates freedom."
If they learn anything, it's to shove some rocks in the pillow case and beat their dad with it until they get to keep all the candy they collect.

BRB gonna buy the bucket off of your kids and give them money so they can go buy their own candy.

Like a true capitalist would.

"Nobody wants to work on collecting candy anymore!"

Under capitalism, a properly regulated, and competitive free market is not zero sum.

Such a thing is impossible. The current system is working exactly as intended
- Such a thing is impossible.
  What is your argument to support this statement?
  The current system is working exactly as intended
  If the current system is intended to be capitalist, then it is not working as intended, as was described above.

The same object lesson could apply to technofascism, data-silos, police seizures, ...

Nah, make it illegal to own buckets.

That's the states candy, cease your investigation.