The bubble is dead, long live the bubble!
The bubble is dead, long live the bubble!
spaf @spaf
Every vendor booth at RSA this year: Powered by world-class Al with a proprietary language model, our product offers unbelievably agile, next-gen threat intelligence-based risk management in the dark net on a quantum containerized blockchain employing breathtakingly advanced data science. Built to be compatible with your SIEM & cloud, its zero-trust architecture is programmed in a memory-safe language with no supply chain to monitor!
Literally no supply chain.
As in, we don’t have a product yet, but we’re working on it!
Hey I know, what if we let Sales set the direction of the company?? They get us money, right? It’s jenius!
That’ll show those surly waaah-i-wanna-work-from-home engineer people!
More colored charts! Add AI to the printer toner! I read a business book once!
I once worked for a company which did exactly that - they put the marketing people in charge. It may surprise you to hear that they went from being a large organisation to going bust within a few years.
I’m pretty sure every organization is under some kind of siege by their versions of sales and marketing. In better days those voices get balanced or bested by smarter heads. In worse days, they don’t, marketing takes over and the company is sold for scrap two years later.
its zero-trust architecture is programmed in a memory-safe language with no supply chain to monitor!
this is good.
I mean isn't it the only part that actually makes sense?
The others make sense if you drop the extra extra buzz words. Like quantum. Containers exist, the block chain exists, I wouldn't be surprised if some idiot combined those. Though quantum computing ... is not related to normal computing.
What is this from.
wow that is an impressively triggering paragraph.
though I should get spaf to write my résumé
I would like one security please.
Sorry, the least I can sell you is four on a subscription.
But is it blazingly fast?
Well, a brick is technically unhackable.
Due to your product not being turnkey I am unable to get management buy-in.
Also no single pane of glass. What is this, amateur hour?
And no ‘single push of a button’, the filthy casuals.
The future is
bleakbright!Just
peachybleachy!Blight?
Is this human language?
It's bullshitese, specifically.
