It's really hard to avoid doing this.
It's really hard to avoid doing this.
It's really hard to avoid doing this.
People-pleasing and excessive conflict avoidance. Been there before.
I live there.
Is that an autistic thing ?
When you spend your formative years trying to 'fit in' (like most autistic people) you quickly learn that standing up for yourself is a failure in your attempts to not stand out. Those chidhood habits are incredibly hard to unlearn.
This meme isn't an exclusive trait for autistic people, just one that many autistic people struggle with.
Definitely more common with autistic people. There's a theory of autism, Intense World Theory, that posits the fundamental concepts of autism make the world is too intense for us. We perceive things more intensely, we process things more intensely, we remember things more intensely, and we focus more intensely. Since the world is tailored for NTs, we are more likely to develop a traumatized personality which results in fawning/people-pleasing. Orion Kelly has a video I like on fawning, though he doesn't discuss the Intense World Theory.
As far as my own personal beliefs at this time, I think that autistic people are constantly told from childhood that their perception of the world is incorrect. If we don't agree to succumb, we are punished. This makes us dependent on others to tell us how the world works. As such, we don't develop confidence in social situations and become submissive to others.
I hate the compulsion to be nice to people that I'm not comfortable with.
i got a friend who says to me now, "I get where you're coming from and that's really kind of you, but it isn't really all good, is it?" and it's been e n l i g h t e n i n g
Some worries man, some worries.
Getting rid of britta.
Wait Britta's in this?
Is someone the barber? 😁
How often are you interacting with people that do something horrible enough to warrant this being on your mind??
Oh. I see you don’t work with people. 😆
I relate to this a lot.
I do this even when it's something extremely minor. "Yeah they brushed me as they went past and said sorry but what if it was more then a brush and a stumbled and fell on the road? Some people..."
I always thought that was just a me problem...
it does have it's upsides though. Revenge is so much easier when people have their guard down.
On a more serious note; yeah I revoke "no worries" occasionally. try not to do it too lightly, but if I feel it's relevant... I'd rather cause some drama than have all this unspoken bitterness buildup
Non-autistic take, and Ive been on both sides.
If you really aren’t comfortable, bring it up with the person later. I have done this, and had this done to me as well.
“I was thinking about what happened the other day, I said I was Ok at the time but I am really not Ok …
<explain>
”That is fantastic advice for people who are capable of direct responses like that.