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Happy Birthday, Karl Marx!
  • My friend what do you think Haiti was like in the 16th century?

  • Buffalo put a window on its new hard drive so you can see it at work
  • I don't like the window on my computer case because it makes me face the fact that I've let a fuck ton of dust build up inside. I don't want to see it inside the moving parts too. NEXT!

  • *Permanently Deleted*
  • Nice!!!

  • Modern Diet
  • STIMULANTS I need STIMULANTS in my blood I can't FUCNTION WITHOUT MY FUCKING STIMULANTS YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

  • Happy Birthday, Karl Marx!
  • What came before capitalism was even uglier, yet reflects our nature as a species just the same.

  • *Permanently Deleted*
  • Are you from UAE or another country?

  • *Permanently Deleted*
  • Damn, I don't think my wife would be happy if I asked for that arrangement but good for you man. I'm attracted to her always but sometimes I want some schmeat on the side, y'know? Anyway, are you mostly going for guys around your age or is it more the younger crowd? I know a lot of 20s guys are super into older dudes.

  • Minnesota Supreme Court: Female breasts are not lewd or inherently sexual and can be exposed in public
  • Yeah that's nice but if I let my moobs free I still get hated on, when's the oppression gonna end??

  • After 25 years, a weird Sega icon is back [Ecco the Dolphin] with a new game from the "entire original team," remasters, and a countdown website that only has 8,529 hours to go
  • The original Ecco became depressed from years of gamer neglect and chose to swim to the bottom of the pool and not come up. Will his son get the attention he needs or will he join his father in the depths?

  • Happy Birthday, Karl Marx!
  • You guys would have a very bad time in the 1500s let's be real

  • Never seen him this happy
  • Do yourself a favor and drink water instead. Your teeth and testicles will thank you

  • Smelly Commute
  • No infections she's always been this way. Born2stink

  • Sharks (by Matilda Fiship)
  • You absolutely buffoon, sharks don't have legs

  • [Fedi history clarification] The term “threadiverse” was never (intentionally) associated with Meta
  • I always throught fediverse was a god awful name. Like it sounds like a website for FBI agents. "You guys see that thread on the fediverse?" Who came up with this name? It sucks!

  • [Berger] Blue Origin reaches orbit on first flight of its titanic New Glenn rocket
  • Uhhn yeah I'm about to reach orbit, keep sucking unnnggn

  • CONSPIRACY THEORY: Elon musk pays for bots/people to spam rage bait about him online because he loves attention and playing the villain

    No matter where you go on the internet in 2024/2025, there's post after post after fucking post about Elon Musk. Always about him saying or doing something incredibly stupid or comically evil. There are even entire communities dedicated to it like "enough musk spam" which is ironic because I see more musk spam from them than anywhere else.

    For a while I thought this was organic. It made sense afterall, the richest person alive is a giant dipshit who inserts himself into things he's got no business with, that's bound to get people talking. But lately I've realized that this guy craves one thing above all else, even money. ATTENTION! He fucking loves attention. He spent a small nation's GDP to buy Twitter and force millions of people to read his shit. He's always making a spectacle of himself and now he's been getting involved in the incoming US administration too.

    In the past, he loved playing the hero, the babyface tony stark who smoked weed and watched rick n morty and built rocketships to mars. He was the cool, slick innovator who invented electric cars and paypal (or so I was told back in like 2016). Then in the last few years his facade crumbled and people could see him for what he really is, a fucking creepy weirdo manchild with mental problems. But musky still needs his attention fix or he'll probably dessicate like a blood starved vampire, so he decided to do a heel turn and go villain mode.

    Because of the stupid, asinine way social media functions, outrage has taken over. Everyone's mad at everyone else for everything under the sun. The fucking Latinos elected trump! The fucking white women stole black men's independence and racial solidarity! The fucking gays ruined bud lite! The fucking transgenders stole my son's dick n balls! The fucking men all hate and want to kill women! I don't believe these things but it's just a sampler of the crazy outrageous "opinions" that get blown up and circulated, perhaps downloaded into the modern social media user. The actual content doesn't matter, just the emotional reaction it provokes that leads to people commenting, sharing, boosting it so they can ridicule and get their hit of feeling more superior or sane than "those crazy people on the internet".

    So back to musk, dude loves attention and he realized that playing the villain gets you way more attention than playing the hero, and it's way easier when you're already basically lex luthor but with brain trauma. Musk is also obscenely rich as we are all well aware, so he can pay enormous sums of money to have his bullshit boosted even more. It's like a farmer buying one of those fancy newfangled drones that spread seed for you. He just loads up the seeds (whatever stupid statement or antics he dreamed up that day) and sets the drone to spread them far and wide (getting bots/paid posters to repost his shit on reddit/etc).

    This ensures that every website, every corner and nook of the world wide web is full of Elon musk. And everyone loves to take a big steaming shit on him because he's objectively a moron, so it just feeds itself.

    So, my dear lemmy reader, ask yourself, is it really worth your time, or anyone's time, to spread musk's diarrhea all over our precious internet? Does it do anyone a service to download HIS thoughts into everyone's brains?

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    nevaseerius nevaseerius @sh.itjust.works

    I am one of the top researchers in the emerging field of pissandshitology

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