GraniteM @ GraniteM @lemmy.world

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114

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1,597

Joined

2 yr. ago

It's a crime that Doug Jones has never played The Scarecrow in a live action Batman movie.

Zapp Brannigan: You can't trust a bisexual, Kif. You never know if you should insult them for not having a girlfriend, or not having a boyfriend.

Ah, yes, the sacred texts. I thought there was another as-yet unknown context.

Oh my god! Cate Blanchett in full leather! That's terrible! Where? Where are these photos, specifically? So I know what places to avoid!

And what if your feet were nailed to the ground?!

Will diatomaceous earth work on them?

Is there any answer for why there's a Green Goblin face on the main truck? That is clearly Norman Osborn. Was someone on the production a big Spider-Man fan?

I mean, I the real answer is cocaine, but is there any reason other than cocaine?

She meant Jewish.

More photos from the same article:

So, Ricky Nightshade?

And the rest of the people in the room, in front of and behind the camera, don't immediately shut him down, cut to commercial, and then return with an apology for having platformed a fucking Nazi.

You know what they say about a Nazi at the table and ten other people sitting there talking to him...

A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O."

Suppose that, at a given moment, a certain number of people are engaged in the manufacture of pins. They make as many pins as the world needs, working (say) eight hours a day. Someone makes an invention by which the same number of men can make twice as many pins as before. But the world does not need twice as many pins: pins are already so cheap that hardly any more will be bought at a lower price. In a sensible world, everybody concerned in the manufacture of pins would take to working four hours instead of eight, and everything else would go on as before. But in the actual world this would be thought demoralizing. The men still work eight hours, there are too many pins, some employers go bankrupt, and half the men previously concerned in making pins are thrown out of work. There is, in the end, just as much leisure as on the other plan, but half the men are totally idle while half are still overworked. In this way, it is insured that the unavoidable leisure shall cause misery all round instead of being a universal source of happiness. Can anything more insane be imagined?

--Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness

I think originality is overrated. Hear me out.

Example 1: Star Wars should plagiarize more. Original Star Wars is Hidden Fortress in space, plus a bit of WW2 dogfighting and some car culture flavor. Late period Star Wars has been taking original Star Wars, blending it up, and pouring it back out again. Not enough plagiarism. Top Gun, but make it Star Wars and call it Rogue Squadron. Three Musketeers, but make it Star Wars and call it Three Jedi. Take your pick of old detective noir stories, set it on Coruscant, and call it the The Dantooine Falcon. Stop ripping off Star Wars in Star Wars, and go back to ripping off other properties, and it's a license to print money.

Example 2: Stop trying to make movie franchises progress forward in time; continuity and originality are overrated. James Bond has been making virtually the same movie for over sixty years, and people still love it! Bond goes to exotic locale meets and beds some number of beautiful women, engages in a bit of extreme sports, foils the plan of some flamboyant villain. The actors are regularly changed without comment. The movie is always set "right now." Bond has (almost) always been 007 for "a while." Continuity virtually never spans more than a couple of movies until it gets reset to zero again. And it's still going strong as a franchise! Pirates of the Caribbean could have used this pattern and just kept making crazy pirate adventure movies forever, but they got wrapped around the axle trying to keep a continuous plot going forward. Should have gone the James Bond route.

Stop trying to make original movies that advance an overarching plot across a franchise. Make movies that have already been made and that don't take the franchise anywhere. You can't go wrong.

Q: What do you call a doctor who is three sheets to the wind by mid-afternoon?

A: Doctor.

Don't forget about PFAS!

Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy a jetski, and have you ever seen someone look sad on a jetski?

Proverbs 26:18-19

Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, Is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, “I was only joking!”

Could they do the thing that airports do with geese, where they get a Labrador to run around and bark at the birds and the birds say, "Ehh... fuck this area" and leave of their own accord?