Can Taylor Swift help Canada's seal meat industry, senate committee asks
Can Taylor Swift help Canada's seal meat industry, senate committee asks
Influential chefs at restaurants across Canada should be convinced to include seal on their menus to fight Russian and celebrity propaganda.
Previous government efforts to boost the sale of seal products have also failed, noted Fink. As an example, she pointed to a 2014 plan which recommended the Fisheries and Oceans department try to revive the market for the sale of seal penises.
Nothing says buy seal penises like... Taylor swift?
Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity? She's suddenly at the center of everything, including seal meat. Wtf
Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity?
Certainly seems so.
Taylor Swift is the only important person in the world according to the news.I mean I like her music, but if you asked me a couple of years ago who's going to be shaking the world in 2024, definitely wouldn't say Taylor Swift.
You can only get so famous before the seal penis lobby come after you.
...you die a hero or you live long enough to become the seal penis?
As ridiculous as this story is on its own, the Taylor Swift comment was obviously a joke. The guy was testifying that Russians and celebrities were spreading "misinformation" about seal hunting, and that they needed to counter that with a PR campaign of their own. And the official said "(since Ryan Reynolds is out) we're targeting the Swifties" as the target demographic, and laughed that Swift might endorse the seal hunt.
She was name dropped because she's the most famous celebrity at the moment, to highlight the absurdity of the idea, not because the idea has merit. It's still a funny story about seal murder. The author of the article even has a statement from the official buried in the last paragraph that says "obviously, that was a joke you dipshits" or something. I'm paraphrasing.
Edited to accurately describe what she said.
It's still a funny story about seal murder
Murder? I'll have you know that was sealf defense, when he threatened me with the malice in his eyes, his fate was sealed.
On a side note what's the going rate for a seal penis. I sealiously don't want to keep it.
Do you know how many magazines Time sold when they made her person of the year?
She's the only thing keeping the news industry alive.
Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity?
Honestly, I would be okay with that. We could do a lot worse.
Canadians need to realize that eating seal is as normal as eating a lamb chop or a veal sandwich,” added Kolga.
Am I having a stroke? What? What the fuck is going on with this article?
Who talks about fucking veal sandwiches like it's an every day thing? I've never in my life seen seal meat for sale, not heard of anyone having tried it.
Have you never fucked a veal sandwich?
Highly recommended, especially if it’s freshly clubbed and still warm.
The seal industry lobby apparently
they dont even make a case of what benefit this provides besides money for specifically them. Go into a different industry if consumers dont want what you're selling.
But... What if clubbing baby seals is their calling? /s
Maybe the seal population needs to be controlled? 🤷♀️
Don't worry, great white sharks have been spotted not far from where the seals live. Soon the seal population won't need to be controlled by a quick death by humans. It'll be controlled by great white sharks tearing them apart!
Then we can all be happy!
If that were the case you'd think they would mention it
But they want money without having to adapt, why won't people just give them money for things they don't want?
seal meat is a thing?
Yeah, otherwise they wouldn't be much more than skeletons.
Yes. Normally sold internationally beacuse the market in Canada is rather small.
The people who hunt seals have been trying to boost domestic consumption for years.
Never heard of Canadian Club?
She really needs to just put the whole music thing on hold and help us with literally everything else, apparently.
How is seal meat still an industry? We have no need for seal anything, we aren't Inuit people living way up north or some shit.
Fucking capitalism will murder anything it can.
We're sure this isn't a satire site?
Is this Ottawa’s version of “The Onion”?
canada is like an onion source: am canadian
Literally. Canadian news is just American news two weeks behind.
Naw, that's the Beaverton.
Why are we talking about Russia when my Ontario elementary school showed videos of the seal hunt? I vividly remember that happening with a strong: this is wrong take.
I was expecting that they wanted Taylor to speak out against seal meat, not endorse seal penis meat.
Naw. It’s them seal penises, gotta sell the aphrodisiac; and who better than T Swift?
If anybody knows about Seal penis, it's Heidi Klum.
Anyone who thinks the seal meat industry should expand greatly should either supply a very good reason for why anyone should want to support this or retire. I opened that article just to see if it had an answer to "why?" and there was none to be found.
The closest was "people eat lamb chop and veal sandwiches all the time", which has never been the case for me. I'd try it, but wouldn't go out of my way for it and wouldn't make a habit of it, especially not to just support the seal industry.
Most likely, if they had a good reason, it would have been the focus of this article. But since there wasn't one, I can only assume that they have none.
Edit: I'm referring to the senators trying to push this as if it is something that benefits Canadians for the retirement comment, as I see I didn't qualify that "anyone".
They have a great reason, they want more money.
Well yeah, but I meant a good reason for anyone else to care.
Taking bets on bot or clueless.
That all you got?
Is she going to eat all those seal pensises herself? Come on Taylor, share!
This is curbing on the plot of an episode of Elementary from, like, 5 or 6 years ago.
It was ridiculous then too. 
What the fuck did I just read?
The Burns Omni-Net sweeps the sea clean!