Daily Discussion Thread : 4 Jan 2024

Did a mad dash to the You Yangs. Weather was stunning, but I’ll be happy if I don’t see steps for while.

Pinched nerve in my elbow is playing up and my anxiety is through the roof.

( I'm ok, it's just my hand, I'm otherwise well, I've seen specialists about it, it's just natural to freak a little )

It's fair enough, nerve pain is no joke and we rely on hands so much
I've been having heart attacks in my head all day

annd the account is unbanned again. Reddits AI Geaspatcho mods aren't quite there yet.

I've had enough of this "living in a swamp" nonsense now thanks, could we get back to something a smidge drier?

Got an email just now from the landlord that they want to inspect the place this Saturday at 1pm, was really annoyed and bummed out that I'd need to turbo clean the place, then thought that didn't seem right and found out that it's a minimum 7 day notice. They are managing this solo after firing the REA (then bumping up the rent by 15% anyway), so I have to really be extra aware of my rights

e: started watching Silo for something to distract me from cramps. It's beautiful, but is the tv script written by a 14yo. It's so on the nose. Easy to watch though.

😭 Sorry to hear. -hugs-

Good win tonight @Duenan@aussie.zone.

CEO - 6 Duenan - 7

I pick the Scorchers tomorrow. You've got the Strikers. Good luck!

Good luck to you too!
Hope the test match is on tomorrow as well.

It has been pointed out that our numbat remains nameless as the vote was never concluded.

The previous vote was a tie between Gary and Nellie, so please vote for your favourite name in the comments below. The most upvoted by the end of the day will win.

Graggle

Sooooo I think I broke my sleep. Not just normal "oh I'm nocturnal now" broken, I'm now in this strange routine where I sleep for 20 hours and then I stay up for 30

What's happened to me why am I broken

- not as much as I should
  I wish but no
  I dare say it's just the yo yoing from being out all night NYE then having to do stuff during the week. I'll probably be fine when I force myself to sleep and live like a normal person again

I want to hang a tyre swing or swing from a tree in the backyard, does anyone know what kind of knot and what kind of rope I should use to tie it to the limb?

Bless my neighbour. After all the rain we've had, he's watering his grass right now.

Just felt like checking and yep.. definitely still borked

I've ordered a burger and onion rings to console myself

How are you feeling at the moment or overall?
I was surprised how badly it floored me when I got it for the first time a few months ago and I’ve had every shot as soon as it became available to me and it still did a number of me.
Burger and onions would make me feel better as well!
- Feeling a lot better today. I'm pretty sure the fever is gone which is nice to not be drenching the bed in sweat!
  I only had the mandatory vaccinations which I think maybe there were 3 or 4? Has been a while though.
Is this worst holiday you've been on?
- Hmmmm it's definitely up there. I don't think I've been sick or stuck in a room while on holiday before so its either worst or equal worst.

Update on the tense family stuff.

Background: Bro and SIL tried to upend (bulldoze is putting it better) sleeping arrangements, got upset that it didn't go their way and left in a huff.

Result: Apparently that is now a major falling out. Surprised how upset they are.

oh well.

I fully support and agree wholeheartedly with everything the other respondents have already said, so can only say this: fucking good on you for standing up for yourself! So hard to do when it's family.
You did exactly the right thing, telling them to cut out the bullshit powerplays. I'll bet they thought you were a pushover, after all the wedding crap that you complied with. Now they know different and will just have to cope with the fact they did a wrong thing. Of course they are upset. The more wrong they are, the more upset they are. Classic narcissist behaviour.
Good stuff resisting and standing up to them.
They may be upset but do they recognise that what they did was unacceptable for you?
Or are too selfish and only thinking about themselves while being upset?
Out of curiosity did they leave to go home or to find another place to stay?
What children. Maybe this outburst is better than indefinitely simmering tension though.
Sounds like a cold water swim is what you need to shake off the tension and bad vibes
- Very much doing a swim tonight heh.
  Just a shame it ruined what was otherwise a nice family get together.
I thought Bridezilla behaviour was supposed to end after the wedding...
They're being childish. Tried to throw their weight around through some artificially inflated sense of importance and had a tantrum when it didn't work. Especially crappy behaviour if you were allowing them to stay with you, and after all the extra miles you went at short notice for the wedding. From your posts you do a lot for your family (it seems expected of you) and I don't think this pair appreciates it.
Some people just aren’t happy unless they’re getting their own way. It’s so frustrating. Sorry it’s ruining your holidays.

My boyfriend didn't get me anything for Christmas, but I got him something. We have been dating for six months. I got him something for his birthday as well.

It's not even the fact that I didn't receive some object. It's just that he probably didn't even think of me, until I gave him something. I told him a card is fine, and now he's saying he's still drafting it because of his difficulties with spelling. It's been two and a half weeks.

I'm going to attempt to talk to him about this without sounding like an asshole

This isn't the behaviour of a caring partner. I'm really sorry to say it but it sounds like this guy's heart isn't in it. He's not even managing to do the bare minimum let alone make you a priority and I don't think he's even worth the trouble of talking to about it.
You deserve better.
You could have someone that genuinely thinks of you and returns gestures of affection without being wrangled. You could have someone who actually wants to act like you're together.
My biggest concern here is his excuse about spelling, combined with your concerns about sounding "lika an asshole" when you speak to him.
For a start the excuse is bullshit. He is not writing a thesis, it's a card. And if writing a card is really difficult for him there is absolutely no reason he can't do something else like buy you a bunch of flowers. Secondly, the card is really not the point - you want something that shows he was thinking about you, and him giving you a card late and only in response to a specific request from you is not showing that at all.
But the biggest concern is that his bullshit excuse is manipulative. He is trying to put himself in the position where he can play the victim, where he can twist your concerns about not getting a card into you being at fault for not being supportive of him, not appreciating how hard he has been trying to do what you want even though it's really hard for him, for even expecting something from him that is so difficult etc.
If you do decide to talk to him about it, the conversation should go something along the lines of "I was really hurt not to get something from you for Christmas. It's important to me that my boyfriend does something to show me he's thinking about me on important dates" with a reply of "I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was that important to you . I promise to do something for you at these times in the future". There could be discussions about what dates matter, what sorts of things you like, even discussions about what he would also like, but there should not be excuses and deflections. You should definitely not end the conversation feeling that you are in the wrong, being unreasonable or anything else along those lines. You should not end up doubting the validity of your own feelings about the situation. If you do feel any of these things you are being manipulated, and this is likely an ongoing pattern in the relationship that is only going to get worse.
- Thanks for this. I sent a message including what you said, and because I have a lot of emotions swirling around, I said that I deserve better and if it means that I break up with him for that to happen, then I will.
  I feel like he will use his dyslexia as an excuse again or say something like, "I didn't know what you wanted."
  He didn't ask his mum what she wanted and still got her something.
I might be a bit behind the times, but is this the guy from the bar?
It’s not something you might want to hear, but you generally wouldn’t treat a good friend like that, let alone a girlfriend. Please don’t ever minimise yourself or your feelings, it just both enables him and subconsciously reinforces that you’ll tolerate this.
His excuse… not up to scratch. He knows how to use a mobile phone, right? If that’s the case I hope you can see how his excuse looks now?
- Yes it is. Good memory!
  Thank you :)
Punt this oblivious bastard. He clearly does not care enough about you to pay any attention to your needs and wants, even when these are reasonable. Possibly including the season of the year. And you would have to be deaf, blind and demented not to notice that xmas was happening. He's taking you for granted. His needs are being met. Yours aren't and probably won't be. You deserve better.
If you want to give him a second chance to get it right, see if he remembers Valentine's Day. If he ignores this too - move out stat. He's not ready for any kind of relationship with another human being. Again, you deserve better.
- Yeah exactly, it's not even about the gift giving itself. It's about the needs
Sometimes it's too late once the horse has bolted. I'd let this one go but the next important milestone I would be reminding him weeks in advance. Eg. "It's my birthday on [date]". A week before you then remind him again "I can't wait to see what you get me". You've now painted it in red across his forehead. If he shows no interest then I would reconsider my relationship.
- My birthday is four months away. I don't know if I can wait that long.

While I love our native birds, if these rainbow lorikeets don't stop waking me up i may just throw gumnuts at them. The noisy critters are feasting on the flowering gum outside my bedroom window and the noise is aaaargh! I'm on leave you fuckers and I'd really like to sleep in just a little bit.

When the rainbow lorikeets say it's time to wake up, it's time to wake up.
- I'll send them to yours then!