2y ago

As a trans man, Max Simensen says he has unique insights everyone could learn from

www.abc.net.au

When Max affirmed his gender a decade ago, he didn't expect changing bathrooms to bring so many insights

A place for the LGBTQ+ community @kbin.social

indigojasper @kbin.social

2y ago

As a trans man, Max Simensen says he has unique insights everyone could learn from

www.abc.net.au /news/2023-12-04/max-simensen-earshot-insights-gained-from-being-trans-man/103164510

9 comments

Some truly interesting perspectives in this guy's story. I'm pretty conscious of some of this stuff as I raise two boys.
The bathroom and handshake things are real. Some things are more nuanced like the office admin stuff.
The diet one is new and baffling though. There's definitely office banter about food. I haven't ever been aware of it being gender based, though.
- No it’s a well-studied woman thing.
  “… women tend to be underestimated more. They tend to be interrupted, more talked over more. They have to prove their competence more and we often feel uncomfortable when they're in positions of authority.” https://www.forbes.com/sites/michelleking/2021/10/26/the-authority-gap-why-women-are-still-taken-less-seriously-than-men/?sh=3ed8223e634d
  
  That doesn't inherently discredit the idea that going from a child to an adult would not also contribute; people who wouldn't do that to a woman VS a man could still do it to a child, for example
- Oh dude I went the other way as an adult. I have a deep voice and I'm tall so I'm pretty obviously trans.
  Even so people went from just default listening to me and taking my ideas seriously to just ignoring me half the time. It's most egregious with strangers, if I speak about anything technical people often overrule say my opinion on something physics (An area I'm pretty knowledgable in and relatively good at communicating) for some half remembered anecdote some man told them, previously they'd be like "Oh wow that's interesting, I always thought X" or something far more indicative that they listened.
  
  I’m pretty obviously trans.
  That could be enough maybe? Anyone who is perceived as "strange" gets second hand citizenship, even if it's subtle.
This is the best summary I could come up with:
This is a glaring contrast to women's public bathrooms, which can feel like stepping into a feminist support group.
The chatter, the laughter, the occasional tears and waves of support for those crying makes for a heartening sense of camaraderie and solidarity.
It turns out that's how many men shake hands with each other — and I had a steep learning curve ahead to perfect this ritual.
If you have a feminine-sounding voice, it can lead to an onslaught of verbal abuse, harassment and misogyny from players online.
As a woman, you're made constantly aware of how much sound you're making where it seems that men aren't conditioned to be attuned to that at all.
At work I'm no longer asked, or expected, to organise gifts for farewells or birthdays, morning teas or lunches, or plans like booking meeting rooms, sending invites, taking minutes or extra administrative tasks.
The original article contains 1,494 words, the summary contains 148 words. Saved 90%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!
The part where the women was looking back over her shoulder at him and he turned around to check if someone was following them made me laugh.

9 comments