You could go full British. "You absolute/complete/total (any noun)"

You absolute sponge.

You complete brick.

You total signpost.

Its all in the delivery. Say it with enough malice and anything is an insult.

**Puts on British voice
''You tooting foghorn of ignorance''
you UTTER building material
- You fucking spanner.

Champ.

Yahoo#1: "The Earth is flat, didn't you know?"

You: "Alright, Champ."

Call someone sticky, and dont use it like an insult say it like you are being genuine. If they try to hand you something shy away and be like "oh um no I'm sorry, you're just kinda sticky" garentee that'll leave a mark

Pimmel.

A lot of Americans who say "fuck" will still lose their goddamn minds if you say "cunt".

Yeah, I say cunt a lot as an American. My mom hates it which is at least partially why I love it. Shit cunt is my favorite variation.
- Once the shock value of a simple ‘cunt’ has worn off, ‘thundercunt’ is my next escalation.
People in the small-town South don't take it well when you call them sister-fuckers, either, as I quickly learned.
Didn't stop me, though.
In America, it is a harsh term for the vagina. As a gendered term, it would be considered a slur. For some reason, "pussy" is more acceptable but carries the same connotations. The latter is used to describe a coward, while the former would be more akin to "bitch."
- I mean, it can be, but there are also other ways to use the term. It also is the only word in English that refers to the whole gentalia, not just the vagina or some other part. Gee I wonder why the word for female genatalia is considered dirty to a bunch of puritanical Americans. Reclaim it.
I know one, they get all bent over twat too
- In England, twat (pronounced to rhyme with "hat") is barely considered rude.

Lately I've been a big fan of "bungalow", to signify that someone has nothing upstairs.

the answer is obviously "weatherboy"

Is that a reference to something?
- Wouldnt you like to know Weatherboy

cunt

Niggard/niggardly sounds like a really, really, awful choice for a word to describe someone cheap like Scrooge. It's not a slur it just sounds way too much like one. The use of the word is controversial despite the only connection the two words share is how they sound.

I wouldn't use the word around people though. Explaining how a word that sounds racist isn't racist makes you appear to be more racist. It isn't a slur but gets treated as if it was one.

✓ quite offensive

✓ not a slur

X you probably still shouldn't use it

The only reason people use this word is because it sounds like the slur. If you're choosing words just so you can say "Actually, it's technically not a slur," you're just being racist.
It could be argued that the term comes from racist roots and therefore using it is racist.

Twat

Republican

Definitely a slur

I like calling people inanimate objects. Being angrily called a "fucking waffle" or a "God damned acorn" hits different than the normal curses and slurs

As an Australian, I would like to introduce you to a word more offensive than “fuck” while just as versatile, and that is “Cunt”.

Big fan of the word. I use it frequently. I also eat Vegemite and say she'll be right. Big fan of y'all.
- Yeah nah. Do you go to the servo for smoko? Ever get some dim sims from the fish and chippery? Ever chuff down durries, while eyeing up some ranga chick squeezing dead horse on her fritters?
Cunt is one of the most Australian words I know. I sadly left OZ more than a decade ago,but I still get a bit of a melancholic feeling whenever I hear it.
The fact that you can also say cunt in an positive sense is fucking funny.
Sick cunt! And Oi cunt is always a bit of a hit and miss for someone who is not an native Australian slang speaker.
(Oi cunt once got me thrown out of an irish pub somewhere in County Cork - when used to greet my Australian mate
Bogan is also a word that needs much more recognition worldwide. Same as Drongo and Fair dinkum. And so many others.

Poes

Piss slit

In a professional setting: disappointment is the strongest word I've ever said to someone

Outside that? I don't know if there is a good cutoff between slur/not slur... The one I vividly remember was old Chinese social media users (before the blockage) calling some people "Wumao" (translates to 50 cents). This is implying that the person is being a troll, and they did it because they were so pathetic that they accepted a 50-cent commission from the government to say good/bad things on the internet. Probably still the worst insult I could imagine till this day; modern equivalent might be calling someone "nice job ChatGPT" or a "Russian bot"

Not a word, but my favorite recent addition was when someone told me her husband, rather than flip people off in road rage situations, just looks at them and gives them a thumbs down gesture, and it makes them so much more mad. I’ve been doing it whenever I see Cybertrucks.

The top turd here in the US is definitely a cockwomble

Presidential.

手前

An incredibly vulgar way of saying "you" in Japanese.

What makes it vulgar, just curious?
- I'm a novice when it comes to the language as a heads up. But my understanding is that generally most of these incredibly vulgar ways of saying "you" came about because they were originally actually respectful ways of referring to someone. But as time passed, people began using them ironically. So a term that was originally respectfully used to refer to someone of higher status is now only used if you're basically cursing someone out.
  Japanese doesn't really have swear words, it's mostly just words that are incredibly disrespectful or otherwise inappropriate for certain context.
  There's also 貴様 (kisama) which is basically so comically rude because, to my understanding, saying it implies everyone is inferior to you by default.
  Edit: it's also worth noting that saying "you" isn't very common in Japanese in general. Usually you'd just refer to someone by their name. So even otherwise tame versions of you can still be inappropriate in the wrong circumstances. Not to the degree of these though.
- The short answer is, "because history". Like most words, although this often feels like a non-answer.

Pig's sluice

"Fargin Bastages".

I have a good one. Once a small machine shop in my hometown had their adjustable sign say "gravely bad-boy scag" which sounds like the best insult ever, but apparently all 3 are brands of lawnmowers that they sold.

Me and my sister still call each other scag to this day lol

When in doubt about swearing look to the british. Cunt and bugger.

The range of invective is far richer than that. American terms of abuse are far more limited.
Since when is cunt not a swearword you fucking donut
- um. he did not ask for something that was not a swear. He finds fuck and shit to be to boring to use. He wants a non slur. Granted you can reach and say cunt being female anatomy is a femal slur but given I hear it more used for men. eh. also maybe you can related bugger to gay but its a stretch to.
the British are SO GOOD at insults, if their accent wasn't so damn hilarious roadrage would be terrifying

Clanker. It’s a slur, but who cares. AI don’t have feelings.

Cancer sufferer works in the Netherlands

Cancer sufferer works in the Netherlands
Kankerlijer. You can replace cancer with any of a number of other nasty diseases.
It's also customary to tell someone "get cancer!" (krijg de kanker), "get tuberculosis!" (krijg de pleuris) or "get leprosy!" (krijg het lazarus). All map to English-language sentiments such as "eat shit and die" or "fuck off."
You can also just use "cancer" as a prefix to anything that happens to piss you off: cancer-influencers, cancer-sandwich, whatever. And the same goes for other diseases.
I personally prefer "klootzak," which means ball bag. The word rolls off the tongue so nicely. But then, everything said in Dutch sounds aggressively pejorative, even sweet talk.
Ouch, that's brutal

I'm french and I tend to swear using disgraced politician. You say "Sac à manuel valls" instead of "Sac à merde" ( Bag of shit ) and you can probably do the same with other well hated politician. There nothing like blamming Manuel Valls when I stub my toe.

The only French I know is le chat mange. I'm a big fan of your language, even though it confuses the hell out of me.
- It confuse the hell out of me too. The rules are confusing and there is often stuff that contradict itself.
  I'm usualy make more mistake in french than in english. I even tend to speak english when I'm too tired because french consume too much brain power.
Must be nice to have disgraced politicians. Wouldn't work in my country.
- We're not done yet. There'll be a lot, but it might take a while.
- You must have some, you just have to find them.

Fucktard

It's a portmanteau of a slur
ending a word with "-tard" references the "r-slur" against disabled people. Regardless of if you still approve of its use (I don't) it therefore misses the question asked.
- "You leotard!"
classic

Cooze

loose butthole

though now that I think about it, simply "butthole" would be enough. everyone has one, still feels offensive enough and works universally.

You battery operated trilobite would not recognise an offensive sentence if I typed it at you!

I want a pet trilobite

Come to the Netherlands and you can swear with all the diseases you want! Except cancer - some people will take genuine offense if you do that. But typhus, cholera, tuberculosis? Those are a-okay!

I love ones that make it seems like you're talking down to a kid

Flapjack, doof, pipsqueak, piece (as in "you piece"), dingodile, jackwagon etc.

Shit and fuck are just spicy filler words anymore so you gotta switch it up

On the subject of one that make it seem like you are talking down to a kid, my personal favorite is twip from Batman Beyond.

Liberal/fascist

People seem to use them to mean 'people I don't like' regardless of the actual meanings of the words

Liberals call themselves liberals so how is that an hurtful insult or even an insult?
It just doesn't sting enough

ChatGPT

I cannot think of anything outside of the not so humble Australian cunt for single words. That or LLMbecile ( one I heard here ).

Though, when talking to others, a classic "Mr. Rodgers would be disappointed in you." is always an option.

Few of my personal favorites: "I'm disappointed in you" "You don't have to be your parents you know" "Is this what you do with your free time?"

Chuckles and giggles are my goto ones depending on how aggressively stupid someone is acting.

Cheese hole

Bollocks

hairy bollocks

Viz invented the word "fitbin" as the most offensive word ever. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fitbin

I like that. The UD link reminded me of one. We should just start calling people waffle stompers.
- That reminds me, do NOT look it up if you value your eyes, "Blue Waffle"

I called one of my co-workers a cunt for bullying a different co-worker. Calling him a cunt got me in more trouble than his bullying.

So that, but I never apologized despite the pressure. Woo, union? lol.

Thundercunt, works every time

If you ever to go Hong Kong or Guangzhou, you need to know this volcabulary:

仆街
 廢柴
 變態
 冚家鏟
 黐線

The translated version doesn't even come close to the actual emotion toll of hearing these words used by your parents or brother against you.

Fungdark

Fascist, because it's not a slur; it's a declaration of a fact, that applies to too many people.

I mean yeah but i'm not gonna say FASCIST when i stub my toe.
- Feel free to combine words in here for maximum effect. A nice "FASCIST CUNT!" or "DONALD TRUMP! / CHILD RAPIST" would maybe fit better for a stubbed toe than just FASCIST.
- What if you stubbed your toe on a fascist's head?
- How about "Son of a Fascist!"
Hag

trump

Puto/puta.

Zionist

It works for Ethan Klein I guess

Cuntrocket

Vegan dildo.

I think lowlife is the best it is a general insult and insult his existence itself

Pathetic

I forgot viraĉo exists.

Hitler.

Good thinking, but overplayed. Eva Braun perhaps?
Nah, that's just the term for someone you disagree with these days.
- One time at work I pissed off my manager by calling another manager Hitler. I'm still pretty proud of that.

I recently stumbled upon "dense block of hamstink".

Goat licker is a good one, for example "You canoe humping goat licker!"

If you’ve never called someone a “donut” before, you’ve never lived.

Meh, Gordon Ramsey vibes.

What's the most offensive word I can use that isn't a slur?

Turd