NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE
NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE
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Large grass lawns were a sign of wealth and power for the aristocracy and gentry from the feudal system. When they had large numbers of serfs working their small plots of land and paid a tithe to the landowners it meant that their land could be turned over from agriculture to pleasure.
Growing a big, unproductive, biologically inactive lawn is basically saying "I have so many peasants I don't need to grow vegetables" and then morphed into the quasi status symbol we have today for suburbanites to complain about each other's while the planet dies around them.
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originally
It depends on how far back you go. Maybe an actual historian could chime in on dates, but by at least the 18th century one of the distinguishing hallmarks between "real rich" and "fake rich" was whether sheep, and the like, were what maintained your lawn or if you had dedicated human labor to scything and weeding.
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Frick. I moved into a house from being in apartments for many years and I have to say, lawn and Garden work, suuuuucccckkksss.
I hate it. I have too much to do to deal with your.... Growth.
Can I replace my lawn with an emo lawn so it cuts itself?
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Depending on your local regulatory environment, you can replace your grass lawn with a clover lawn which has the following benefits:
- clover is more drought tolerant than grass and does not need to be mowed
- fixes nitrogen for the soil like legumes
- supports local pollinators and provides habitat for other ground level insects
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A clover lawn however does still require maintenance and It is not a catch-all solution to a no effort lawn. You will have other weeds growing that will get very tall very fast as they aren't competing with anything and you do still need to water a clover lawn or you will end up with more tall weeds.
Other than that, slay.
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My current grass is patchy, I'm certain there's little or no nitrogen. I've been meaning to pick up a small bag of clover seeds and at least augment my lawn with them to make it a bit more green at least.
I'm fortunate that I was able to get a battery electric mower for my home shortly after moving in. So there's no inconvenient gas fetching and mixing, just a pair of bigass fuck off batteries that live on the charger between mows.
The real problem is that we have a garden in the back that I want to set up as a vegetable garden and I just haven't had time to do the work and it's currently over run with weeds. I'll get to it eventually. I'm planning on killing everything currently in the garden with some kind of weed killer, not sure what yet exactly, but I've seen some places recommend a soap/brine mix that seems effective. Then cover it with that black landscaping/gardening fabric so shit doesn't grow for a while, if that's successful, build raised beds and fill them with fresh, untainted soil and grow veggies there.... It's going to be a project and I have no idea how I'm going to find time or money to do it, but the way things are going, I can't afford not to do it.
Anyways. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. I guess?
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Yes you put a specific amount clowers around and they make the grass grow slower.
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Moss has started to grow in my yard and I love it. It's green and furry and doesn't grow tall
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You think that's bad? Allow me to introduce you to rock yards. I'm slowly getting rid of mine but removing several dump truck loads of gravel is hard work.
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Mine was fully concrete paved when I moved in. I know the pain of moving a shitload of rubble.
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Ugh we have people doing that in our neighborhood and it's godawful. I think they think they're "xeriscaping" but this is Arkansas and the incredibly hot sun makes those rocks too hot to touch or stand on (for my doggo), kills the plants that are planted near it, etc. But they aren't going to admit their mistake and undo it.
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Pumpkins
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Is that your yard?
This is so awesome and so perfect for my yard that I showed my family and said we should do this next year.
The yard already gets decorated (I have a third grader who is way into it) and this would make the perfect foreground.
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Sure is. Im actually surprised the HOA hasn’t stopped me
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I know this meme comm, but anyone have good resources on how to not be a part of this statistic?
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I bet our Lemmy comrades on https://slrpnk.net/ have a handle on it
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https://xerces.org/ may have info you are looking for. Depending on where you live you may be able to find seeds of local flowering plants that do well as a lawn replacement, for example: https://northwestmeadowscapes.com/
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Shout-out to Native American Seed Company in Junction, TX for all your native grass and wildflower needs in the south and southwest
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Joey Santore's got you!
Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't. One of the best YouTube channels
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This man helped me kill the lawn inside myself, and now I've killed my lawn and I'm on my way to kill my parents' (lawn) too. I might have even accidentally learned some botany along the way
A really great channel
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r/nolawns
c/nolawns
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Some CPBBD videos on replacing lawns with native gardens:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYdLfkJcfok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoO0ZhzZT7g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anpuSnAM5o8
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What? You don't like glyphosate in your everything?
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My heart says no but the microplastics in my brain say glifos ate.
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I was walking across some grass recently and noticed I liked how it was soft and spongy. So I look up how to achieve that for the grass sitting area in my garden. Turns out every lawncare guide says this is terrible and you need to fix it.
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Why? Soft and spongy grass sounds like a dream!
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The lawncare guides tell me that I need to spend 3 figure sums on machinery to remove it. I tell them to go fuck themselves.
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Sounds like neglect is the formula then
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Plant Clover.
Rarely needs to be mowed. Or seeded. Or anything else. Looks great. Provides a lot of cover for a lot of insect life. It is just superior to grass.
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Fuck lawns. Like, with an unpleasant thing. Idk, a jagged rock or something.
45 comments
I got a nasty letter from an anonymous coward complaining about how I keep my lawn.
I dont give two shits about the grass. Bare minimum is all it gets. I also did a round of overseeding with microclover. All the retired boomers in my neighborhood have nothing better to do than dick around with their lawns.
I have every intention of making mine into a meadow or something. Need to figure out what I can get away with.
In the meantime, I will be making a Halloween display that will feature skeletons sitting on top of some pallets (letter writer was mad that I had one leaning against my trash can for a week) with trash cans and a whole bunch of weeds and crap. I also have a spare tire that was used to secure a transmission I bought down to the pallet. I also still have the broken transmission.
The whole mess will be going into the front yard, skeletons will get trucker hats, beer bottles and maybe a banjo.
I can't wait!
One of the things that bothers me more than it should is people responding to actual problems with "but i like it".
You say something like "a 'basic' lawn like that is bad for the environment in many ways, in addition to being labor intensive."
They respond with something that amounts to, "But I like it."
That wasn't the question! If someone likes murder that doesn't justify it, right? Because if so this conversation would take a very abrupt turn. So we can infer that there must be some other justification. Probably, "I don't care about other people", which remains an insufficient justification for murdering a whining selfish prick.
“Oh my god having a lawn isn’t murder you’re being dramatic!” - some small-minded buffoon who doesn’t understand analogies.
They probably couldn’t even explain why they like it, and about the only truly valid reason that isn’t just social conditioning is “I like do yardwork” but then wouldn’t a big nice garden be 1000x bettee for that? Oh, right, you can’t just sit on a big lawnmower and pretend like you’re doing real work.
And these people that "like it" also really like telling you how you need to manage yours because you are not spending enough on bullshit lawn treatments.
Our loud elderly neighbour liked to complain about our lawn. Even after I got disabled. Now he fell ill and guess whose plants are growing through the fence?