1d ago

have some standards

[alt text: a screenshot of a tweet by @no_goblins. The tweet says: "Ladies if you go to a man's house and the only games he has are COD and 2k DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM! You deserve someone who plays open world RPGs".]

63 comments

Ewww open world. That's as basic as it gets.
- At this point I’d rather play CoD than ubislop assassins creed 43 here we go assassinating again
I killed several really well going conversations in the past by mentioning that one of my hobbies is to play racing games with my plastic toywheel.
Like dont get wrong i'm fully aware that its not a sexy hobby. But if thats enough to tank an otherwise well going conversation for you then i'm not interested either way.
- Talk to them about vr and theyll want to come over and try it usually
  
  it's a fat hassle tho and its prob more common now, also youll look stupid lol
- racing sims are a sexy hobby, that shit ain't cheap up front and also it's legitimately a good experience
  oh I'm sorry I have a hobby that doesn't require ongoing expenses, takes up little space, and feeds me adrenaline. you're right that if that is enough to tank a convo then byeee
  of all the things to be a dealbreaker, playing video games is.. lol. not the kind of person you want to be around. odds are they watch brainrot tiktok and reality TV, right?
  
  racing sims
  oh I’m sorry I have a hobby that doesn’t require ongoing expenses
  Sim racing is one of the most expensive video game related hobbies out there.
  Ask me how I know.🤣 Jokes aside though, if you're not competing in iRacing and you're happy with a decent but entry-level/intermediate wheel its not so bad. It's not hard to blow 10k real fast if you want to though!
- I have to wonder if they'd be more interested if you'd said you fly a space ship with a HOTAS (as in Elite Dangerous).
  
  „I like playing with my stick“
  
  Played a fair bit of Elite but now kinda feels like there isn't really that much purpose to play and most things get boring quickly, especially if you are trying to be vaguely efficient and stack missions or what ever the meta is now.
  Doing a variety of different things with my multiple ship and SRV or on foot was most fun and least rewarding. If there was more co-op focused stuff I think that could help too, even if it was just a mission variant that increased enemy spawn rates in the mission area. Then rewards that make the mission worth doing.
  
  I got really into elite dangerous at one point. I never got a HOTAS though, but I’d considered it.
  How is the game these days?
COD is a roleplaying game! I roleplay as a stormtrooper that can’t hit shit! I’m pretty good at it
If he has Disco Elysium ask him who his favorite character is to gauge whether he is marriage material.
(Hint: The right answer is Kim.)
- Would you accept cuno
  
  When I played this game, my wife was overhearing the dialog and asked me what movie I was watching.
  She then later commented how annoying Cuno was.
- Hardcore!
- What if I answer The Noid?
Man... I know SO MANY GUYS who would get butthurt by this post. Hahahahahahaha
Bunch of basic bros.
- go touch some grass bruh
  
  I don't get why you're telling me this.
While I get the stereotype you're talking about, I feel like this is a bit mean. Idk. Maybe I'm a bit biased because my stepbrother is basically a halo only type of gamer, but he's also a decent human being.
Similarly I'm not gonna shit on my old roommate, who basically only played the sims.
- I hate the Sims cause my sims always end up living a better life than me.
- Your stepbrother's judgement depends on which Halo he plays, he still has a chance
- Which Fallout game?
  
  Any. The punchline is self-explanatory.
- For me, the intro to Fallout 4 always gets that frisson going.
  
  Fallout 4: Flaccid
  \ Fallout 3: Chubs
  \ Fallout New Vegas: Half-Mast
  \ Fallout 1 or 2: Boioioioioioing
That’s why I still leave up the OG RuneScape login page on my monitor.
What is 2k, other than a game publisher?
- I figured it meant like all the sports games with 2K in the title like NBA 2K6 or NHL 2K6 and their modern iterarions (e.g. NBA 2K25)
  
  Ah, so FIFA but for Americans?
  
  okay that makes a lot more sense than running from somebody who plays Borderlands
  
  Would it blow your mind if I told you all the 2K sports games were released by 2K? 😁
  
  💯%
- My most played games are Civilization 1 - 7 and XCom games and they are published by 2K. I didn't know that I am somehow inferior to someone playing RPGs.
I only sleep with The Wonderful 101 fans 😎
- Guess you don't sleep with many people lol
  (pain. very good game.)
  
  You joke, but I've never actually met any TW101 fan IRL 😂 I'm just yes and-ing the meme.
(also don't date guys that seem to play certain games performatively like they saw this post and went out to match it) (a friend dated a guy that brought a modded gameboy to social functions and played it sometimes but he never really talked about gaming and i'm pretty sure the gameboy was more about the aesthetic for him than actually playing games)
- I like to play mmos, arpgs, and chess. Should my girlfriend run? (joke)
  
  MMOs? You're a lost cause, sorry.
  (Unless she also likes MMOs, then you're meant for each other)
  (Also, /s ofc, but remember to take breaks to spend time together)
  
  Yes, straight into your spindly little arms
- Literally any suggestion of a type of guy who isn't a basic bro will be followed by a suggestion that they're performative within days if not hours

63 comments