2mo ago

How to poop outdoors in a way that won’t harm the environment and other hikers

theconversation.com

42 comments

tl;dr: dig a hole or carry it around in a bag. Saved you a lot of words.
- I've tried carrying a hole around in a bag but the darn thing always seems to get lost when it comes time to use it.
  
  You should get a bag of holding
  
  A Lemmy switcharoo? Rare find!
  
  You obviously have to plant it in the ground first, silly!
  
  Rookie mistake. You have to be sure to use the whole bag. Anything less won't work.
- A 15cm (6 inch) deep hole 30m (100 feet) from the trail or water.
  
  Make sure to know which direction the trail is when walking 30 m away from it. People died following this rule. Well, I know of one person that died because of it.
- Thanks! Now I finally know How To Shit In The Woods
  
  Congrats, you're one step closer to the papacy
- A folding shovel is a must have in a car! I have dug my car out of so much snow and mud! Also good for burring your poo or a dead hooker.
  Wait what?
I poop in the middle of the trail I am hiking to assert dominance over the other hikers
- I poop on top of other poops in the middle of the trail. This is my forest, and I got a lot of poop to prove it.
  
  I like to poop upstream of water collection points.
- I like to swallow those dinosaur sponges that come in a pill shape, having full on dinosaurs in your scat asserts dominance.
- Personally I do it around the outskirts of my camp to mark my territory.
- Are you a horse?
  
  No of course not!
Is there a way to poop outdoors in a way that will harm my enemies?
- If your enemies happen to get their drinking water from a well, there is. Contaminate the groundwater supply and enemies will be harmed. You can also poop upstream of a river or stream if that's where they drink from. Bonus points if you get some tapeworms first.
  
  You go through all that effort just to find RFK Jr taking his grandkids swimming in it.
- Leave it less than six feet away from where they commonly walk around barefoot and they could get hookworm. If I remember the Radio Lab correctly anyway.
  
  don't i have to have hookworm to give it to someone?
A literal shitpost. Splendid.
The answer is a kilt. Prove me wrong.
Edit to add: the fact I have to choose 'English' and cannot choose 'Scottish' makes me want to stab some cunt in the face with a tattie scone.
- tattie scone
  Checks out.
I love the combo of this blog’s subject with its domain name.
I sent it to several friends and asked them “Have you had ‘The Conversation’ with your loved ones?”
Make sure to use Poison Ivy to wipe your ass.
#FreeThePoop
Get the BoglerCo trowel

42 comments