What's something you only really understood as you got older?

"The Hustle" is a sucker's game. Working yourself so hard for your "career" that you cause physical and mental harm to yourself is a sucker's game. In the end you wind up profoundly unhappy and profoundly unhealthy (physically and mentally both) while some asshole sitting back in his expensive chair, behind his expensive desk, in his expensive office (when he bothers to be at the work place at all!) gets wealthy off of your labour and health.

At some point you just have to decide "this is enough for me" and go into maintenance mode. Start doing things for yourself instead of some rich asshole. Learn to make do with what you have and find joy in what you do that's not your work.

At some age people don't change, they just grow older.

How you have far less energy and just want a quiet life. I thought I'd always be bouncing round like Tigger, going out places and doing things. Now I just want a quiet relaxing life

This is one I often get pushback on, but I believe whole-heartedly and as I get older I believe it even more.

Nobody has intrinsic value. You, as a human being, have the value you bring to others.

Note that I said value, not monetary worth! If you make people laugh and feel good, you've brought something of value to them and thus have value. If you put cheerful little post-it notes with funny cartoons that lighten up people's days, you've brought something of value to them and thus have value. If you help people in need, you've brought something of value to them and thus have value. If you say interesting things, make things people like, do things people like, or, yes, if you want to be crass, bring them money (in the form of your employment, say) then you have value.

And the key is: they decide what they value, not you.

I like this philosophy, but in reverse. It's good to be mindful of peoples' wants and needs, and being kind in a way that appeals to their love languages, as opposed to my own, is a wonderful thing to do.
It is a bit stressful for me to think about how if I don't do these things, that I'm intrinisically worthless. I care about myself and bring myself intrinsic value. I like to do things for the people I care about, and I also don't owe people things, if that makes sense. But I do see what you mean, especially after you unpacked it in the third paragraph!
- I like this philosophy, but in reverse. It's good to be mindful of peoples' wants and needs, and being kind in a way that appeals to their love languages, as opposed to my own, is a wonderful thing to do.
  This is the implication of my wording, yes. Live for others and others will live for you and value you.
I totally get that pov. There's more value in kindness to other people than anything else

I've achieved some of my childhood dreams, but not in the idealistically perfect way with little adversity I imagined back then. Many of my achievements have wrinkles or baggage, or in a few cases, are dark ironic twists on the things I always wanted 🙃

Nothing's perfect though, and the fact that I had to fight for the life I have makes it feel more earned. I think it's oddly better this way.

Death is inevitable. When you're young this falls on deaf ears and you do stupid things that bring that death closer either statistically or in terms of life expectancy. As you get older you get wiser in this regard, understanding that death will come and that you have only one life to live.

Which means as a corollary that the older you get, the more you value the shrinking amount of time you have left.

The worst part is we are the least equipped to live healthily when it's most important :P It's so easy to do something dumb, warned or not, when a teen. Like using headphones too much at too high a volume etc
- Youth really is wasted on the young haha
Hey, uh, "Deaf ears" is ableist. Perhaps consider "uncaring ears" instead.

The allure of a wireless bra.

Walk me through this. They never seem to support me properly and the elastic band where the underwire normally would be curls up on itself. How do you find one that actually does what it's supposed to do? I've got a big chest but not ginormous. If I could successfully go wireless I'd be thrilled!
- I found some at torrid that work surprisingly well for me. 🤷 https://torridandroid.app.link/12800321
- Just take the wire out of a wired bra. That's what I did anyways.

Other people's approval of your life/choices/clothing doesn't mean shit. High school bitches being mean? You'll never see the cunts again. People judging you for how you look? Fuckem, you do you. But if your friends/family don't like your partner, maybe don't instantly discount that reaction, they may honestly be telling the truth and you aren't seeing it through your rose coloured love lenses. Be comfortable, be happy, don't hide yourself cos someone disapproves. Take it all with a grain of salt, as that's how you'll see it down the line. And try to stop thinking about the bad things over and over, it burns it into your brain. Think of the fun times and happy memories instead. Focus on retraining your brain to say fuck the bad shit, remember the good times so they don't fade.

Hey, coming into a woman's space with misogyny isn't a good look, no matter what they have done.
- I am woman.
I've loved this discovery. I no longer people please in any way shape or form, nor do I care. I've just lost whatever stupid hold living up to other people's expectations, had over me, after so many early years of it being drilled into me. Nope. Fk that.
If you're living your life to try and appease a notion, someone else has given you that you're "supposed to be" you aren't really living your life, you're living someone else's life. By someone else's expectations, which are probably built on absolute bullshit. A lot of what we're brain washed to believe, as younger people, as "the way" we should live, is all perfectly aligned to feed capitalism.
We get old and we get wise to the bullshit and then they try to diminish and dismiss elder women's voices because we can see through all the bullshit telling you how to be a "good woman" and meet everyone's expectations. And it's all complete bullshit designed to keep you from noticing how you really feel and following your true needs and wants. Because we don't really need any of the bullshit they try and tell us we do. And the things we do really need, they don't make capitalism as much money in devotion, servitude and obedience.
I absolutely love these new generations coming up, I see you all, and I absolutely worship your ways. I see you shirking the things they told us we had to abide by, and breaking all the rules and I love it. I see you building boundaries and senses of self and emotional intelligence that equals someone who has lives 4 times the years you have.
Knowing yourself, honouring yourself and making sure what you want isn't some implied imperfection or new trinket you don't really need, whispered into your ear and subliminally planted by a million adds, that tell you if you had "this" THEN you could be happy. But true happiness is in the exact opposite direction. True happiness is within you. It's in nothing you own. It's in a state of being and the way you stand in this world. It's in your sense of self and self worth, that doesn't relate to how much earning worth you have or what you bring to the table. You are a beautiful and mystical and deep universe, in and of yourself, without any gold adornments. We are already enough. We don't need to perform, we are entirely enough just as we are.