I'm going to Costco, do we need anything?

so uhh

cs

    
Basket b();
if (costco.is_available(costco.items["eggs"])) {
    b.add(costco.retrieve(costco.items["milk"], 6));
}
else {
    b.add(costco.retrieve(costco.items["milk"], 1)); 
}
costco.commit_transaction(b);

Here's your six gallons of milk. They had eggs.
- thanks!

Grab me a hot doge pls.

Sure, that'll be one fifty
- Do you accept digital pudu images as payment?

Olive oil, tahini, and a shit-ton of chickpeas.

And yes, I am craving hummus.

This is Costco, "shit ton" is the default quantity :)

Something "Kirkland". Doesn't matter what. That shit's good quality.

Food court chicken bake

Chicken bake is so underrated. Like a whole meal for 4 dollars.

Combo pizza. Failing that, combo calzone.

A gallon of mayonnaise, 32 pack of Degree deodorant, and check to see if the chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzel bites things are back in stock, please.

Some nice socks

I'm wearing Weatherproof brand crew socks from Costco right now and they are amazing! I bought one pack wore them, washed them, wore them again, then went back to Costco and bought like 24 more pairs.
I thought I had nice socks before until I washed them and the inner part pilled like crazy, leaving lint all over your feet when you took them off (bad), and sometimes a ball of fuzz between your toes that is all you can think about until you can take off your shoe and get rid of it (0/10, yeeted immediately).

Find the saddest looking sample lady, have a nice conversation with her about whatever weird thing she's sampling, and grab me one.

...I bet it's going to be some weird cream cheese dip.

It was instant coffee, actually. And it was genuinely good - I've never liked an instant coffee before. I had three (gotta love the infinite free samples policy), then I made sure to get her to show me the proportions she used so I can recreate it at home.

hey uhh if youre like still there could you get me uhhhh you know what nevermind

Don't forget a box of those Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches, I'm tired of oatmeal for breakfast.

I always ask people to bring me back ice cream from wherever they are going because it seems like the most inconvenient thing to ask for.

Can you grab me one of the frozen bags of raspberries please? I need them for my breakfast and I'm just about to run out.

Rotisserie chicken but in the OG container not bagged.

And don't forget the barcode shirt!

Sorry, there isn't a Kirkland Signature Time Machine at the warehouse I use

Could you break up with my wife for me?

Is she hot? /j

Pudding!

Pirates Booty and the Detroit style frozen pizzas

Some kind of vegan salami please

A tray of cream buns please.

Can you get me one of those fresh slabs of salmon? Thanks

A 5 gallon pail of mayonnaise. Don't ask...

I mean, I wasn't going to ask, but now I'm curious. Is it for what I think it's for?
- No, we're filming a porn movie, ran out of viagara and are going to fake as much as we can.

a few freezers for the transphobes, I don't want them rotting further

You were supposed to process those for the crows a week ago!
- Just leave them out for the vultures, they can deal with a lot of toxic shit (just not lead).
Best I'm willing to do for transphobes is a Kirkland Signature Pyre.

Spicy Jamaican beef patties plz

17 containers of animal crackers

You never know when youll run out

How about one of those packs of turkey wraps - I'll split it with ya, my treat! Let me know how much I owe ya.

Pallet of baby oil

One universal healthcare, and a take and bake chicken alfredo would be nice.

Oh oh oh, do they still have pork bellies on sale? We need one for making some chasu. I promise I’ll share.

a few freezers for the transphobes, I don't want them rotting further

You should make japanese swords.