take all the time you need.

God damn! I guess from the biblical perspective, It's a good thing for all of us the first three Republicans we're into Mom bod, because it seems like most of them are pedophiles.

And Cain was worried someone would attack him when he was exiled. Fucking who? Ain't there only 3 humans in existence???

I can't believe god allowed mpreg only to patch it out later.

I liked genes with patches.
Maybe it hasn't been patched and we just aren't trying hard enough

A hole maybe?
- Any port in a storm.

Motherfuckers.

Nah, that's stupid.
we are all butt babies
- Christian butt babys!

There are many things to nitpick, but that isn't one of them. Old Testament mentions Adam had both sons and daughters.

That's not better, is it?
The Bible doesn't say God stopped at Adam and Eve.
The meme does.
- From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.
  It's pretty explicit that he didn't make more than one man. Or maybe it was just a biblical harem anime?
Either was there's some incest going on.
- Mitochondrial Eve (evolution) proves incest, so there's that.
- Oh yeah no doubt
- My old religion teacher said that hereditary diseases weren't a thing back then. I don't believe in the bible but that kinda checks out.

Uh, I’m pretty sure it was Adam and Steve.

Jeez nobody goes to church anymore.

Maybe they should give out drugs...
- For my body be of coke, and my blood made of that really strong wine.
- You mean something like:
  Frankincense contains a compound called incensole acetate, which has been shown to have psychoactive effects, helping to alleviate anxiety and depression in studies conducted on mice. This suggests that burning frankincense may have mood-elevating properties during religious ceremonies.

Genesis 5

This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;

2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.*

3 And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, and after his image; and called his name Seth:

4 And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters

Even before Seth there was Cain. Genesis 4
But the Lord said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain went out from the Lord’s presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
So God made Adam and Eve who made Cain and Abel. But there are other people out there who Cain knows about and is scared of. There's also another land called Nod. Cain also found a wife and had kids.
"Everybody comes from Adam and Eve" doesn't work and is so stupid it really shouldn't be a thing anymore.
- That first part of genesis is just two creation myths in a trench coat.
- Yeah, I mean if you think about it, if you really read it, the Bible is written to tell the Jewish people that they are the most specialist, special people on the planet. And everyone else can kinda just go fuck themselves.
  Even Jesus didn't really much like performing a miracle for someone who was from Canaan
  Mathew 15:22-28:
  And behold— a Canaanite woman having come out from those districts was crying out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Master, Son of David. My daughter is badly demon-possessed”. 23 But the One did not respond a word to her. And having come to Him, His disciples were asking Him, saying, “Send her away, because she is crying-out after us”. 24 But the One, having responded, said, “I was not sent-forth except for[a] the lost[b] sheep of the house of Israel”. 25 But the one, having come, was prostrating-herself before Him, saying, “Master, help me”. 26 And the One, having responded, said, “It is not good to take the bread of the children and throw it to the little-dogs[c]”. 27 But the one said, “Yes, Master. For indeed the little-dogs eat from the crumbs falling from the table of their masters!” 28 Then, having responded, Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great. Let it be done for you as you wish”. And her daughter was healed from that hour.
  Which, like, one reading of it says, Jesus was so cool that all you had to do was have faith in him and good things would happen to you.
  But on the other reading of it, Jesus is ignoring this woman as she begs for her daughter's life, and not until the woman debases herself in front of Jesus does he deign to sprinkle a miracle her way.
  He literally called Canaanites dogs, and it's not like it was a huge miracle. The girl was possessed by a demon. Out of all of the people on the planet, the son of God would be the one person who could just like kind of blink in that demon's general direction and banish it. And he wouldn't spare a blink for this woman until she begged him and debased herself for him.
  And I get it, to a certain degree, I obviously don't understand what it's like to be the Son of God in any way, shape, fashion, or form, but I'm sure the requirements of being Jesus, like your daily existence, must have been stressful at a level that I could only comprehend if I was actually on fire.
  But this kind of makes me not really trust my local pastor, talking about how Jesus loves me when I'm farther removed from being a Jew as almost anybody on the planet, not including china.
  If Jesus would barely be convinced under an incredibly public and annoying situation to send a tiny little sprinkle of blessing somebody's way because she just doesn't happen to be a Jew, then my Native American ass likely does not stand a chance in hell.
  And that really sucks, because I believe in him and I've prayed to him and I've talked to him my entire life, just being realistic about it, I mean, cross-checking the number of prayers I've had versus the numbers of prayers I've had answered, and cross-checking how much I wish I was a better person, and how often I've prayed for guidance, or understanding, or wisdom, or forgiveness, or strength, or anything, to become a better person. better person and what a piece of shit I actually am in practice, and don't get me wrong, I'm not like a puppy kicker or anything. It's just there's nothing good about me at all.
  And so when you cross compare everything in my life, you counterbalance that by the amount of good that exists in me, even though I'm not offensive, I'm not gonna go to the good place.
  And there's a part of me that wonders if it's because I just wasn't born the right race, you know?
  I mean, there's literally millions of non-practicing people who happen to have been born Jewish, who, if they could just confer their birth right on me, would change my life for the better in so many ways, because I would have been branched into God, and therefore God would have to hear my prayers or something. But I don't know any non-evil way to do that. I don't even know an evil way to do that. I don't know any way to do that at all.
- Omg. Command & Conquer was a Bible reference this whole time? (Kane was the leader of Brotherhood of Nod)
So who did Seth do the baggatting with?
With Eve!
Well it seems to be a lot of bullshit.

The OG Earthen Vessel Egglayer (EVE)

Genesis doesn't say all of us came from Adam and Eve. Just that they were the first. Genesis neither says, nor implies, that God stopped at Adam & Eve.

It is crystal clear that Adam and Eve were the first humans and all descended from them. The bible is obviously bullshit, but don’t make shit up either to make yourself sound smart.
Luke 3:38 Acts 17:26 1 Corinthians 15:20-22
- I specified Genesis, as did the meme.
  Where will the Jews discover your wisdom?
Genesis seemed like it was two stories mashed up to one.
One had a mass of people already created, like you said but another story where Adam is first person.
My punishment is greater than I can bear! Today you have driven me away from the soil, and I shall be hidden from your face; I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and anyone who meets me may kill me.
People already existed or is it assumed Eve populated the world in some way?

never bought into the rib story

Where did Cain and Abel’s wives come from?

Was that off their first album?

And that is just the beginning…

Lot and his daughters...

biblically accurate male impregnation 💪

Technically we all came from the three sons of Noah and their wives, according to Genesis. You don't need to think about that one much, though. Probably a lot of cousin marriage.

EDIT: sons, idk why it said songs

True the others drowned...

snake! run away

Motherfucker!

The lord works in mysterious ways.

Those motherfuckers!

Regardless of 4 humans, or 6 humans or hell 100 humans. It would take 14k humans to repopulate the earth and have a healthy population.

So it's all bullshit. As we all know the old book is.

is there a like a community for thoughts, but which is like eye bleach?