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I absolutely wore earplugs when my baby was screaming. Well over 90dB, well over 30 min. Still very sure I have hearing damage, especially in the ear on the side that I favoured when holding him to try and comfort him.
Lol.
More power to you, and thank you for the reassurance that a vasectomy was the right decision for me.
Yeah if you're not willing to destroy yourself for a little creature with no comprehension of what they're doing to you, parenting isn't for you. And if you are willing, but you feel like you'd need to try and understand the sacrifices you made for them, it's still not for you.
Yeah idk. From the outside looking in, raising children looks like sustained literal torture over many years. I don't get it, even if people tell me it's "fulfilling" or even if people tell me I'm "good with kids". Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that there are people out there willing to do it, but I don't think I'm built for sustained torture. I'd probably off myself.
Oh it absolutely is, they drive you mad. You're also basically utterly brainwashed to love them no matter what. I guess there's fulfilling parts to it, it's pretty cool to teach them stuff. Ultimately though there's just this little bundle of person you find extremely cute that you love the shit out of and spend a significant amount of your time worrying about, and there's also a persistent tinge of guilt that you're probably not really doing this right.
Yeah it's not for everyone, and I don't think there is anything wrong with people who don't wanna do it.
And yeah, they'll wreck you.
I've met people who've travelled the world. They're convinced (and are quick to assert to others) that you CAN'T be your complete self without travel: exposing yourself to new experiences etc etc.
Learning an instrument. Being in a polyamorous thingy. Hunting. Getting hardcore into the gym. Veganism. Being car-free. Yoga. Religion. Psychedelics. Meditation... Everybody seems to have an answer for some critical thing required to have a full life.
I'm happy for them all for finding their jam.
For me, and presumably others, being a dad is that. I assume there are other ways people can grow into the fullest version of themselves, but for me personally, I just don't think I could do it without the challenge of children.
I'm not just guiding and supporting and growing a kid, I'm challenging and growing myself. Rigorously exercising my patience. Rigorously exercising my body. Finding my inner peace in a riot. Experiencing the mundane as magical through the eyes of my kid, challenging and reshaping my own perception of the world.
It's like signing up for a gym and an intense self-reflection retreat and hiring a torturer to teach you how to meditate and travelling and taking mind altering drugs and you get to do it all with someone you love.
So yeah, it's obviously not THE ONLY answer for a fulfilling life challenge. But it is an answer for some people... And I think parents tend to be incredibly bad at describing THE NATURE in which they personally find it fulfilling which causes others to be flummoxed as to the allure.